McDonalds Made You Fat, You Say?
Find Out Who You Can Blame
If you fit in either one of these categories:
1. You never really knew how unhealthy McDonald's food really was until you saw "Supersize Me".
2. You love pointing your finger in the wrong direction for your weight problem (i.e. anywhere but yourself)....
Then here's proof to show how dumb you really are.
These, my friends, are called nutritional facts. You can find them on just about every food item you buy. Now you might be asking yourself, "What purpose do nutritional facts serve?" Well, it's very simple. Nutritional facts tell you what exactly is inside of the food you are considering on consuming such as protein, vitamin A, calcium, and iron. But they also tell you about the baaaad things in them such as trans fat, calories, and sodium.
McDonalds introduced nutritional facts on the food packaging itself in 2005, but their brochures like the one I'm gracefully dawning in the above picture have been around for several years. And they've literally been right in front of your faces this whole time. But were you too busy raiding the condiments to notice? You sure were! Hence the reason they felt the need to push it even further in your face by putting it directly on the items themselves.
Now I could tell you what's inside of this brochure, but the thing practically folds out to the size of a U.S. road map. So I'll just give you a little taste by providing the lyrics of Rock & Roll McDonalds by Wesley Willis with the key lines in bold.
_________________________________________
McDonalds is the place to rock
It is a restaurant where they buy food to eat
It is a good place to listen to the music
People flock here to get down to the rock music
(chorus)
Rock and roll McDonalds,
Rock and roll McDonalds,
Rock and roll McDonalds,
Rock and roll McDonalds
McDonalds will make you fat
They serve Big Macs
They serve Quarter Pounders
They will put pounds on you
(chorus)
McDonalds hamburgers are the worst
They are worse than Burger King
A Big Mac has 26 grams of fat
A Quarter Pounder has 28 grams of fat
(chorus)
Rock over London
Rock on Chicago
Wheaties, the breakfast of champions
_________________________________________
Now these words of wisdom come from a diagnosed schizophrenic who claimed to hear demon voices, and they came no later than 1995.
Like shooting heroin, eating McDonald's is anything but good for you, and has been well known for a long time. So for anyone to blame any company for the negative affects that have befallen you or anyone else, you are a fucking moron.
"But Mr. Pessimistic, what does this all mean?", you ask? Well it's simple my jello assed friends. This means McDonalds isn't to blame for your fat ass. Whoever thought that eating shit dipped in grease was part of a balanced diet needs to be castrated, have their vocal chords removed so they can never contaminate anyone with their bullshit theories, and put inside a mental home on a heavy dose of shock therapy.
But if you're looking for the person to blame for your thunder thighs, here's what you do:
1. Walk to a mirror.
2. Look at the bag of shit inside of it.
Whoever you see in this magical reflecting glass is the one to blame. Scientists discovered that 10 times out of 10, you're going to see someone that looks just like you.
McDonald's isn't some evil corporation, they're doing exactly what any other business that exists today does, providing a service in which people can choose to partake in or not. They don't hold guns to our heads and tell us to eat their food. If you waddle into a McDonalds and order two double quarter pounders with cheese and a Hugo soda, that's on you.
McDonalds, just like any other corporation, started out as a small business. Who made it so much money to expand worldwide? Well, we all did. Does expanding your business, like any non-retard would do if he found out his business was extremely popluar make it evil? No. I don't give two fucks how "cool" it is to hate McDonalds and call it the "Corporate Death Burger", I loved McDonalds long before I was cool, and I was fat long before I loved McDonalds.
Some assholes like to point out that McDonalds markets to kids. Wow, no shit?
I thought Ronald McDonald, the Hamburglar, and all those little McNugget cocksuckers were there for my amusement! I thought the whole urban "i'm lovin' it" shit they pulled was to suck in businessmen and yuppies alike. I feel so cheated now! Anyone who points out the obvious, as if they're the only one who holds this knowledge, falls into the retard category along with the finger pointers.
Your kids don't run your life. They eat what you tell them to eat, no matter how many commercials they make with a lanky ass clown. Kids these days don't even like clowns anyway. If you don't want your kids eating McDonalds, then don't take them there, it's not like they're going to walk there and buy the shit themselves. My kid wanted to eat at Taco Bell one day, and you know what I told him? No. (gasp!). It didn't traumatize him or make him feel unloved, what makes him feel traumatized and unloved is when I put a dress on him, lock him in the closet, and tell him he was an accident.
For those of you who have never had the displeasure of seeing "Supersize Me", it's basically about a guy who eats McDonald's three times a day for a month to, get this, prove that it's bad for you and makes you fat. Wow! That's some groundbreaking shit right there! What would we ever do without of the knowledge and cunning of Morgan Spurlock? I know one thing off the top of my head, we wouldn't be such gullible douchebags.
It was a waste of time and money on everyone's part, from the people who contributed to making it and anyone who watched it. If you need proof that McDonald's breeds fat asses, walk into one and look at the customers waiting in line, case closed. If you're the type of person that is so blind and oblivious to the obvious that you actually needed this movie to help you open your eyes to the fact, then you are retarded. And I'm not talking Rain Man retarded, I'm talking Master Blaster retarded, minus the mask and ability to rip off a man's balls whilst carrying a midget on your back. But why do people need a movie to provide proof to them? It's simple, because they're stupid and don't have the ability to think for themselves.
McDonalds does massive amounts of charity work, give hundreds of thousands of people jobs, give people who are poor as fuck something cheap and delicious to eat, and I think it's even safe to say help the economy. They also provide meat, the most important part. Now we've all seen how fat a lot of American kids are these days, but ask yourself this question: Would you rather our children look like plump and delicious Thanksgiving turkeys, or like the type of children who live in countries that don't have McDonalds, much like this kid here.
I bet this black version of Kate Moss would appreciate a Happy Meal right about now, maybe 12 of them. The moral here is, be grateful that we have the power and means to consume enough food to become fat, because little Dukka Dukka *click* *click* here still has to feed off of his mom's head lice.
If you fit in either one of these categories:
1. You never really knew how unhealthy McDonald's food really was until you saw "Supersize Me".
2. You love pointing your finger in the wrong direction for your weight problem (i.e. anywhere but yourself)....
Then here's proof to show how dumb you really are.
These, my friends, are called nutritional facts. You can find them on just about every food item you buy. Now you might be asking yourself, "What purpose do nutritional facts serve?" Well, it's very simple. Nutritional facts tell you what exactly is inside of the food you are considering on consuming such as protein, vitamin A, calcium, and iron. But they also tell you about the baaaad things in them such as trans fat, calories, and sodium.
McDonalds introduced nutritional facts on the food packaging itself in 2005, but their brochures like the one I'm gracefully dawning in the above picture have been around for several years. And they've literally been right in front of your faces this whole time. But were you too busy raiding the condiments to notice? You sure were! Hence the reason they felt the need to push it even further in your face by putting it directly on the items themselves.
Now I could tell you what's inside of this brochure, but the thing practically folds out to the size of a U.S. road map. So I'll just give you a little taste by providing the lyrics of Rock & Roll McDonalds by Wesley Willis with the key lines in bold.
_________________________________________
McDonalds is the place to rock
It is a restaurant where they buy food to eat
It is a good place to listen to the music
People flock here to get down to the rock music
(chorus)
Rock and roll McDonalds,
Rock and roll McDonalds,
Rock and roll McDonalds,
Rock and roll McDonalds
McDonalds will make you fat
They serve Big Macs
They serve Quarter Pounders
They will put pounds on you
(chorus)
McDonalds hamburgers are the worst
They are worse than Burger King
A Big Mac has 26 grams of fat
A Quarter Pounder has 28 grams of fat
(chorus)
Rock over London
Rock on Chicago
Wheaties, the breakfast of champions
_________________________________________
Now these words of wisdom come from a diagnosed schizophrenic who claimed to hear demon voices, and they came no later than 1995.
Like shooting heroin, eating McDonald's is anything but good for you, and has been well known for a long time. So for anyone to blame any company for the negative affects that have befallen you or anyone else, you are a fucking moron.
"But Mr. Pessimistic, what does this all mean?", you ask? Well it's simple my jello assed friends. This means McDonalds isn't to blame for your fat ass. Whoever thought that eating shit dipped in grease was part of a balanced diet needs to be castrated, have their vocal chords removed so they can never contaminate anyone with their bullshit theories, and put inside a mental home on a heavy dose of shock therapy.
But if you're looking for the person to blame for your thunder thighs, here's what you do:
1. Walk to a mirror.
2. Look at the bag of shit inside of it.
Whoever you see in this magical reflecting glass is the one to blame. Scientists discovered that 10 times out of 10, you're going to see someone that looks just like you.
McDonald's isn't some evil corporation, they're doing exactly what any other business that exists today does, providing a service in which people can choose to partake in or not. They don't hold guns to our heads and tell us to eat their food. If you waddle into a McDonalds and order two double quarter pounders with cheese and a Hugo soda, that's on you.
McDonalds, just like any other corporation, started out as a small business. Who made it so much money to expand worldwide? Well, we all did. Does expanding your business, like any non-retard would do if he found out his business was extremely popluar make it evil? No. I don't give two fucks how "cool" it is to hate McDonalds and call it the "Corporate Death Burger", I loved McDonalds long before I was cool, and I was fat long before I loved McDonalds.
Some assholes like to point out that McDonalds markets to kids. Wow, no shit?
I thought Ronald McDonald, the Hamburglar, and all those little McNugget cocksuckers were there for my amusement! I thought the whole urban "i'm lovin' it" shit they pulled was to suck in businessmen and yuppies alike. I feel so cheated now! Anyone who points out the obvious, as if they're the only one who holds this knowledge, falls into the retard category along with the finger pointers.
Your kids don't run your life. They eat what you tell them to eat, no matter how many commercials they make with a lanky ass clown. Kids these days don't even like clowns anyway. If you don't want your kids eating McDonalds, then don't take them there, it's not like they're going to walk there and buy the shit themselves. My kid wanted to eat at Taco Bell one day, and you know what I told him? No. (gasp!). It didn't traumatize him or make him feel unloved, what makes him feel traumatized and unloved is when I put a dress on him, lock him in the closet, and tell him he was an accident.
For those of you who have never had the displeasure of seeing "Supersize Me", it's basically about a guy who eats McDonald's three times a day for a month to, get this, prove that it's bad for you and makes you fat. Wow! That's some groundbreaking shit right there! What would we ever do without of the knowledge and cunning of Morgan Spurlock? I know one thing off the top of my head, we wouldn't be such gullible douchebags.
It was a waste of time and money on everyone's part, from the people who contributed to making it and anyone who watched it. If you need proof that McDonald's breeds fat asses, walk into one and look at the customers waiting in line, case closed. If you're the type of person that is so blind and oblivious to the obvious that you actually needed this movie to help you open your eyes to the fact, then you are retarded. And I'm not talking Rain Man retarded, I'm talking Master Blaster retarded, minus the mask and ability to rip off a man's balls whilst carrying a midget on your back. But why do people need a movie to provide proof to them? It's simple, because they're stupid and don't have the ability to think for themselves.
McDonalds does massive amounts of charity work, give hundreds of thousands of people jobs, give people who are poor as fuck something cheap and delicious to eat, and I think it's even safe to say help the economy. They also provide meat, the most important part. Now we've all seen how fat a lot of American kids are these days, but ask yourself this question: Would you rather our children look like plump and delicious Thanksgiving turkeys, or like the type of children who live in countries that don't have McDonalds, much like this kid here.
I bet this black version of Kate Moss would appreciate a Happy Meal right about now, maybe 12 of them. The moral here is, be grateful that we have the power and means to consume enough food to become fat, because little Dukka Dukka *click* *click* here still has to feed off of his mom's head lice.