I Am Verbal Birth Control

[mr_jaeger]

So I’m setting myself a bit of a pattern here…upon the anniversary of my birth, I looked back at other birthday rants I’ve written. When I wrote my last convention rant, I looked back at my previous convention rants. And now…I look back at the last two Valentine’s Day posts…because this is one day I will not miss, no matter what.

Comments

[starburstlvr]

"and you suddenly realize how much she looks like Billy Idol…but that doesn’t stop you, does it, lads, because you always wanted to fuck Billy Idol anyway, ever since you were a kid."

Lawl.

I'll be working tonight but I'll let you skip to the front of the line that's waiting outside my door when I get home.

[mr_jaeger]

Oh, the hell with waiting till you get home, just tell me which street corner you'll be on, and I'll come see you at work.

i couldn't help it...it was such a poorly worded sentiment...I just couldn't...

[starburstlvr]

It's a little cold here so I've moved into the local ABC store.

[mr_jaeger]

Oh, I feel as thought I should applaud! SUPERLATIVE retort, woman!

I'd say something about a quick bump and grind in the storage closet and the manager letting you take nips from all the bottles of Boone's Farm, but I don't want to be vulgar.

[starburstlvr]

Vulgar? No, that's just practicality. Can't be whoring out for the cops to see!

Btw, you have to pay for what you break while in the storage closet with me.

[mr_jaeger]

Not to worry, my dear. It shouldn't last long enough for me to do much damage.

[iceypyro]

and he ends it showing humility... good man

[mr_jaeger]

Wait...humility assumes that it was true...

Keep yapping, chucklehead...and i'll stab you in the head with my throbbing purple humility and come steaming streams of viruses and poison all over the folds of your brain.

(this disturbing visual brought to you by the Responsibilitarians in '08 camapaign...please imagine responsibly)