I Am Verbal Birth Control

[mr_jaeger]

So I’m setting myself a bit of a pattern here…upon the anniversary of my birth, I looked back at other birthday rants I’ve written. When I wrote my last convention rant, I looked back at my previous convention rants. And now…I look back at the last two Valentine’s Day posts…because this is one day I will not miss, no matter what.

Comments

[protoclown]

I want you to wear a condo if you’re jerking off like I am.

Sounds like someone thinks a little highly of himself there...

[mr_jaeger]

Well, you know what they say...if the shoe fits...and happens to be the size of a roomy apartment...

[starburstlvr]

"and you suddenly realize how much she looks like Billy Idol…but that doesn’t stop you, does it, lads, because you always wanted to fuck Billy Idol anyway, ever since you were a kid."

Lawl.

I'll be working tonight but I'll let you skip to the front of the line that's waiting outside my door when I get home.

[mr_jaeger]

Oh, the hell with waiting till you get home, just tell me which street corner you'll be on, and I'll come see you at work.

i couldn't help it...it was such a poorly worded sentiment...I just couldn't...

[starburstlvr]

It's a little cold here so I've moved into the local ABC store.

[mr_jaeger]

Oh, I feel as thought I should applaud! SUPERLATIVE retort, woman!

I'd say something about a quick bump and grind in the storage closet and the manager letting you take nips from all the bottles of Boone's Farm, but I don't want to be vulgar.