different name, different country, different life...
So people in Israel call me Annie. Its not a big cause i like to be called Annie. It makes me sound more out going then "Anne". See the thing is my relatives here have always called me Annie, so i just got into the habit of introducing myself as annie. Ok cool, people at different periods of time like when I was preschool-to- kindergarden. Or sophmore yearh of high school but people always went back to anne in the end. I like it but its just werid when I am talking to my friends in the states and they call me "Anne". I have been called Annie for a year and half and have gotten use to it that "Anne" just feels like a different person. If anybody is reading this from home its fine, keep calling me Anne. It just me thinking...
Sometimes it breaks my heart to go to myspace cause right there on my top 8 is Shahdy, Eric, my brother, my sister, Jordan, etc. The people who mean the world to me and people who I should be more in contact with. But due to the time difference and people's busy schedules to go online its hard. Then I go to eric's myspace and i look at his picture of "his other family" and has daniel and maya with him but on the bottom it says "missing ann ofcourse". I just want to cry and fall apart. Think to myself maybe I should go back? But back to what? Besides a couple close friends and family. I have nothing. I am tottaly different person. I live a new life. I have actually made myself my own life in Israel. I have my own apartment. I work and i do everything as I please. i have no one to answer. I know how life works here. I can take buses pretty much where i want or walk.
If I go back to California. I would have to start over and have to learn how things work their has an adult and be surruned by halfbrain people. I have to admit. I have been in 3 ulpan programs and with the excetption of me all of the wired ones are from california. Which is one reason why I left. I would be bored and depressed there. Like tonight but that is an exception I put myself in this sitaution. Thats my own falt.
But really I would what would I do in california. For starts i would have to get a car and A, Thats money B. I hate to drive. And then what? Go to COM? I stil have to take my SATS.
Sometimes i feel like I have become a totaly different person to go back to California. Plus I hate airplanes and airports. Sure I can do it on my own and have done it a couple times at this point. Having to check in get my bags and make surethey are on the plane for my connecting flight in Canada in 2 hours. Almost missing the plan cause the Cananda airport is so huge. I even did it with out panicing but i have nightmares about it all the time.
Sometimes it breaks my heart to go to myspace cause right there on my top 8 is Shahdy, Eric, my brother, my sister, Jordan, etc. The people who mean the world to me and people who I should be more in contact with. But due to the time difference and people's busy schedules to go online its hard. Then I go to eric's myspace and i look at his picture of "his other family" and has daniel and maya with him but on the bottom it says "missing ann ofcourse". I just want to cry and fall apart. Think to myself maybe I should go back? But back to what? Besides a couple close friends and family. I have nothing. I am tottaly different person. I live a new life. I have actually made myself my own life in Israel. I have my own apartment. I work and i do everything as I please. i have no one to answer. I know how life works here. I can take buses pretty much where i want or walk.
If I go back to California. I would have to start over and have to learn how things work their has an adult and be surruned by halfbrain people. I have to admit. I have been in 3 ulpan programs and with the excetption of me all of the wired ones are from california. Which is one reason why I left. I would be bored and depressed there. Like tonight but that is an exception I put myself in this sitaution. Thats my own falt.
But really I would what would I do in california. For starts i would have to get a car and A, Thats money B. I hate to drive. And then what? Go to COM? I stil have to take my SATS.
Sometimes i feel like I have become a totaly different person to go back to California. Plus I hate airplanes and airports. Sure I can do it on my own and have done it a couple times at this point. Having to check in get my bags and make surethey are on the plane for my connecting flight in Canada in 2 hours. Almost missing the plan cause the Cananda airport is so huge. I even did it with out panicing but i have nightmares about it all the time.