Gone Away Awhile 7/11
Title: Gone Away Awhile 7/11
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: ~9400
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 for sexual situations, MPREG, and medical/health problems
A/N: This story is based off a prompt by the amazing imogen_lily . Thank you so much for the gorgeous banner and for letting me play with this idea! I appreciate all the help and nudging sweetie!!! You are an amazing person to work with!
Summary: Jensen has it all…great job, lots of money, the love of his life…and NO kids, just the way he wants it. Everything seems perfect, until one night following a big fight Jensen comes home to find Jared has left, turning his world upside down. Four years down the line, he might finally find the answers to all his questions…in the form of two little boys who look a lot like him and Jared…
The airport had been crowded with people coming home from their holiday vacations. It was doing little to help Jensen’s anxiety. He had taken the next available flight to Denver after he had gotten off the phone with Sandy. It had still taken him hours to get there and now he was stuck in a throng of people. All he wanted was a cab so he could get to the hospital and see Jared…to make sure Jared was alright…
“Calm down, son,” Christian said, trying to get his friend to take a breath. “We’ll get there, Jen.”
“But what if something happens? I…I just want to get to Jared.”
“And we will.”
“What if…what if there is something really wrong? He could…I don’t…” Jensen’s voice broke off as the emotions clogged his throat.
“Hey,” Chris said, placing his hand on Jensen’s shoulder. “Just calm down. Jared will be fine. He’s too damn stubborn not to be. You’ll see. Just take a deep breath and don’t panic. You can’t get yourself worked up. You’ll just end up in a bed next to him.”
Jensen nodded, trying to do as Christian said. It took some time, but he eventually was able to take a deep breath and tap down some of his panic. He was still worried for Jared, and nothing could take that away. But having Chris Kane by his side was helping some. He was grateful his friend had stopped by his office after Sandy’s call and offered to go with him. Jensen wasn’t sure he would’ve survived the flight if he hadn’t.
“Come on,” Chris ordered gently, tugging Jensen towards a door. He managed to get through the crowds and haled a cab much quicker than Jensen would have expected, granted, his demeanor might have had something to do with it. Even though Chris was one of the nicest people Jensen knew, he could come off as one tough son of a bitch.
“Where to?” the driver asked as Jensen and Chris took their seats in the back. They didn’t even have any bags to put in the trunk. Jensen had left in such a hurry.
“Denver General,” Chris replied for Jensen.
The driver seemed to get the hint and didn’t say anything. He just pulled away from the parking lot without saying anything else. The entire drive ended up being quite silent. Jensen was too busy worrying to really strike up a conversation, and the other two could tell. His anxiety filled the car with a nervous energy. Jensen tensed up at every red light, muttering a few curses under his breath. It only took a few minutes to reach the hospital, but to Jensen it felt like ages.
Jensen didn’t bothering taking the time to hear what the driver’s payment was supposed to be. Instead, he just tossed a substantial amount of bills to the guy so he could hurry into the hospital. Chris thanked the guy then hurried to catch up to his friend.
“Slow down Jensen!” Chris yelled to him, ignoring the glare he received. “Do you have any clue where Jared is in here? Did Sandy tell you?”
Jensen’s face fell. He had no clue where Jared would be.
“Come on then,” Chris sighed. “Let go to the desk and see.”
The two made their way there and Chris pushed Jensen towards the girl manning it. “Hi,” Jensen said curtly. “I’m looking for my husband…he was brought in earlier. Jared Padalecki?”
“Let me see.” She clicked a few buttons into her computer. “It looks like he is still having some tests done. But you can head up to the waiting room on the third floor. Check in with the nurses there and you should be updated.”
“Thanks,” Jensen sighed, already heading towards the elevator. It was moving slower than he’d like, so he started towards the stares, not even bothering to see if Chris was following. He practically ran up the stairs and was out of breath once he reached the third floor. Chris wasn’t doing any better, but he didn’t bother voicing his discomfort, knowing Jensen was under enough stress.
Jensen was about to go find a nurse when he spotted Sandy sitting beside some guy. She had her head down into her hands and was crying softly.
“Oh God…Sandy…”
Sandy’s head snapped up at the sound of Jensen’s voice. “Jen?” Sandy jumped up and threw herself at Jensen. He could feel her tears soaking into his crumpled suit. “God…”
“Sandy? Oh God! Is Jared…what…”
“He’s still with the doctor,” the other guy stood up. “JD Morgan…I’m the principal down at the school.”
“Heard a lot about you.”
“Same…wish we were meeting under better terms.” JD sent Jensen a sad smile.
“So what happened?”
“We don’t really know,” JD sighed. “Jared was teaching and he collapsed in his classroom during the middle math. The kids came and got me and I called 911. He had a little fever and was breathing rapidly.”
“Shit…but he wasn’t bleeding or anything?”
“No,” JD replied, more than a little confused.
Sandy on the other hand knew exactly what Jensen was thinking. “It’s not that sweetie. He hasn’t been bleeding or cramping. I don’t think it’s a miscarriage, Jen. It’s ok.”
While Jensen breathed a sigh of relief, JD’s worry increased. “Miscarriage?” He looked at Jensen critically. “Is there something I’m missing here? Jared’s pregnant?” JD’s brows knitted in confusion as he waited for an answer.
Sandy bit her lip and nodded. “He found out right before Christmas when he went to see Alona.”
“He’s had a lot of miscarriage in the past,” Jensen said softly. “He…he didn’t want to tell anyone until he made it to the second trimester. He just…he hates having to watch people be upset when he has to deal with it all. He-“
“I understand,” JD interrupted. “I wish he’d told me, but I understand and can’t blame him for not telling anyone. I just want him to be ok right now. That’s all.”
“You and me both,” Jensen muttered. He couldn’t stand or sit still with all the tension and nerves built up. He needed to know if Jared was ok. He’d just gotten his husband back. He needed to know that Jay was ok…that the baby was ok.
During the past miscarriage and problems, Jensen’s mind had always been consumed with Jared and Jared alone. It wasn’t that he didn’t worry about the baby or cry when the baby was lost; it was just that Jared was always his priority. Now he understood what being a father felt like. Now he was scared he would lose not only his Jared, but also his baby.
“Where are the twins?” Jensen asked.
“Called my wife, Sam, after I called the ambulance. She came and got the twins and took them back to our house. They were pretty shaken.”
“God,” Jensen gasped. “I bet…”
“It’ll be ok,” Sandy assured once more. Chris came up next to him and squeezed his shoulder as well.
Before Jensen could reply, Alona suddenly rounded the corner and came up to them. “Hey you all,” she greeted quickly. “Jensen…glad you could make it in so quickly.”
“Of course…how’s Jay? What’s going on? Is-“
“Slow down so I can answer,” Alona replied. “Let’s go over here for some privacy.” She guided the four of them into a small private waiting room and shut the door behind her. “First and foremost, Jared is ok at the moment. The orderlies are transferring him to a private room as we speak. I figured Jensen would want that for him.”
Jensen nodded. “What happened? Why did he collapse?”
“Jared has been having a rough time with morning sickness. He did with the twins too.”
“He told me he did. But he hadn’t mentioned it bothering him this time.” Jensen looked towards Sandy.
“He’s not doing any better this time around,” she sighed. “He didn’t want to worry you. He knew you already had a lot on your mind with work and being so far…”
“Damn,” Jensen muttered. “What does this have to do with what happened today?”
“Well,” Alona continued. “When you throw up as much as Jay has, you tend to easily become dehydrated.”
“Shit,” JD and Jensen both cursed under their breaths.
“Pretty much,” Alona sighed. “And when you are pregnant and severely dehydrated, it becomes even more of a problem. The amniotic fluid around the baby decreases, which can cause a lot of problems for the baby’s development. As of right now, the fluid around your baby is ok…but if Jared can’t get more fluids in him the amniotic fluid that protects the baby can decrease. So we’ve got to find a way to prevent that.”
“So Jared just needs to get more water into him?” JD asked.
“Yes, but right now he can’t because he is throwing up too much to keep it down,” Alona explained. “We’ve got him on IVs right now to hydrate him and I want to insert a nasogastric tube to get some more nutrients into him for a few days.”
“Wait…a feeding tube?” Jensen sputtered. “You’re inserting a feeding tube?!?”
“It’s ok, Jen. It’s just a tube that we’ll insert through his nose and feed down. It will give Jay some nutrients for him and the baby. It will also give Jared a break from foods, which he obviously needs right now. Then we will start him on some bland foods and some herbal remedies. I don’t want to give him meds unless we absolutely have too.”
“Ok,” Jensen said with a nod, still trying to take everything in. “C-can I see him?”
“Of course. He might be a little groggy but I’m sure he wants to see you. He doesn’t know you are here. He’s down the hall in room 332. I’m going to go get everything for the NG tube while you guys sit with him.”
Jensen nodded again then headed down the hallway. He could hear Sandy, Chris, and JD following him as they walked, but they hung back some. Once they reached the door, they all stayed behind so that Jensen could see Jared by himself first. He took a deep breath and opened the door.
Just like before, Jared was pale and tired looking lying on the bed. He didn’t look like he had gained much weight; in fact, he looked as if he had actually lost some. Jensen hated seeing him like that. He walked up to the bed and took a seat in the chair next to it. He took Jared’s hand in his own. Jared’s head turned towards Jared at the touch and he blinked sluggishly awake.
“J’n?”
“Hey,” Jensen said, trying to put on a smile.
Jared easily picked up on Jensen’s concern. His eyes filled with tears but he didn’t let them fall. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, his voice filled with emotions.
“Hey…shh…none of that,” Jensen said quickly. He stood from his chair and sat carefully onto the bed beside Jared. “You didn’t do anything wrong, babe.”
“I-I should’ve gone to Alona sooner. Our appointment got cancelled this week and I hadn’t been able to find the time. I should have. I-“
“Calm down, Jare.” Jensen started running his hands through Jared’s hair.
“I…I thought I was ok. I had bad morning sickness before. Thought it was the same…but…”
“You’re ok, baby.”
“But the baby! I could have-“
“Alona said you’re both going to be fine. Your IV is going to help hydrate you and Al wants to insert a NG tube to help get some nutrients into you. Alona didn’t say anything was wrong with our baby. She’s ok.”
“She?” Jared asked with a slight smile.
“What?”
“You called the baby a she.”
“Oh,” Jensen replied with a blush. “Well…I just…um…”
Jared squeezed his hand in thanks. “Girl would be nice. Not sure I could handle three boys as active as the twins.”
“Not sure I could handle a girl,” Jensen laughed. “The dating and all that shit.” He punctuated the sentence with an exaggerated shudder, making Jared smile.
“I just want him or her to be ok,” Jared sighed, his smile waning as he unconsciously put his hand on his stomach.
“I want you both ok.” Jensen put his hand on top of Jared, rubbing a little. Jared stomach was still flat, but Jensen no longer felt the ridges of Jared’s once toned abs. Despite the weight loss Jared had obvious been experiencing, it was a nice sign of progress.
“I want you both ok too,” Alona said as she entered the room, having heard parts of their conversation. “And I believe this might help with that.” She held up the kit for the NG tube. “We’ll get this into place and get you feeling better, sugar. Jen, we’ll just be a minute.” She motioned for Jensen to step out of the room.
Jared nodded, but Jensen could feel him tense up. “Actually, can I stay? I won’t be in the way,” Jensen promised.
Alona must have picked up on Jared’s nerves. “Sure…just climb off the bed. You can stay on this side and hold onto Jay if you’d like while we work over here.”
“Thanks, Al,” Jared sighed in relief. “Hate these things…”
“I know sweetie,” she soothed. She remembered all too well the last time Jared had needed one, right after he had had his spleen removed.
Jensen didn’t ask, but could assume Jared had had this done before. He didn’t want to make it worse for Jared, so he just held onto his hand while Alona and the nurses worked. Jared tensed up as she inserted the tube, and nothing Jensen did would alleviate his stress. Jared only relaxed against the bed once Alona was finished.
“All done, Jay.” Alona tossed the gloves in the correct bin and rubbed Jared’s arm comfortably. “Think there are a few people outside who’d like to see you then you should rest.”
Jared nodded before Alona went off to find the others.
“Holding up ok?”
“Think so,” Jared sighed. “Just want to be home in bed with you to be honest.”
“Well you have a bed and I’m not planning on leaving your side…”
“Just missing the home.”
Jensen bit his lip. “I, uh, wanted to talk to you about that…”
“What?” Jared asked around a yawn.
“Um…about home. I was…I think…I want you to…shit! Sorry Jay but I can’t do this long distance thing the whole time you’re pregnant. It about killed me today!”
“Jensen?” Jared’s voice shook. “B-but I thought you wanted to be apart of this? I didn’t know-“
“Hey! No…I do want to be apart of this. You’re not getting rid of me that quick.” Jensen gave Jared a kiss on the top of his head. “What I meant was…I want you and the boys to come back to Texas with me. I can’t do this long distance thing. I’m constantly worrying about you and what I’m missing.”
“But…I have work and school here…the boys have school…I-“
“Jensen’s right, Jay,” Sandy said sadly from the doorway. Jared had been too preoccupied to notice the others come in. “You’re running yourself into the ground again and you can’t do that right now. Not again. I’m not going to sit around and let you this time…I shouldn’t have in the past.”
“Sandy-“
“She’s right, Jared,” JD added. “If I had known, you wouldn’t have been doing half the stuff you’ve been trying to manage. Trust me…”
Jensen squeezed Jared’s shoulder in support. “I don’t want anything to happen to you Jared. I can’t not be around any more. And I can’t leave you alone and I can’t abandon work all together…as much as I’d love to. If I could, I’d move here in a heartbeat, Jay. But I can’t move my work here. Dad’s built it up too much to just do that to him. I’m sorry.”
“No…don’t be. I know you can’t. I just…I hate leaving everyone here. But I do want to be with you.”
“Jay, we’ll still be there for you, kid. Ain’t getting rid of us that easily,” JD said with a wink. “You know how much you and the kids mean to Sam and me. It isn’t like you’re going to lose that. And as far as your job, I’ll just put it down that you are taking an extended leave of absence for the rest of the school year and get a long term sub. That way, you can come back if you choose to move back.”
“But the boys and school, I-“
“There are plenty of prep schools around town that I’m sure the boys can get into. They have the test scores from what I’ve seen,” Jensen replied.
“I just…I don’t want to go back to the penthouse, Jen. It’s too…I don’t…formal. The boys would hate it there. They won’t feel comfortable.”
“We can live wherever you want, Jay. It doesn’t have to be the penthouse. Place was never the same after you left anyway.” Jensen paused to think for a moment. “There is always the ranch house. It’s outside of the main part of the city but it is still close to things. Has that little town right by it. Has a great hospital there and a really nice school…”
“I hate to get a new doctor…but I’d prefer the ranch if you didn’t care.” Jared twisted his hands nervously in the sheets. “It wouldn’t be too far for you? I don’t want to inconvenience you or-“
“You aren’t,” Jensen cut him off. “And we’ll figure out something with a doctor. Don’t worry.” He then looked up at Chris. He waited until his friend met his gaze before mouthing “Go talk to the doc” at him. It took Chris a moment to catch what Jensen was wanting, but he understood after a few beats. Jared didn’t want a new doctor…and Jensen wanted him to go talk to Alona.
Chris silently left the room to go find the doctor. He turned a few corners before he saw her leaning against a nearby desk, writing busily on a chart. Chris sidled up next to her. “Hey,” he greeted smoothly.
“Not interested cowboy…”
“Excuse me?”
“I said I’m not interested cowboy. Hard of hearing?”
“No,” he squawked. “Just hear me out! I have a proposition for you…”
“What part of I’m not interested in you is hard to understand?”
“It has nothing to do with me! It’s about Jared!”
Alona instantly sobered. “Is he ok? I didn’t hear any alarms go off and-“
“He’s fine. Everyone is still with him right now.” Chris ran a hand through his hair. “Jensen asked him to move back to Texas with him so he can help out more.”
“Oh,” Alona replied, a hint of sadness in her voice. “That would be good for him. I’d hate to lose him as a patient but-“
“What if you didn’t have to?”
“What?”
“I said…what if you didn’t have to lose him as a patient. Come to Texas with us.”
“Are you crazy? I don’t have a job lined up there! I can’t just-“
“Jensen will pay you to stay near Texas. They’re moving into this giant ranch that Jensen’s family owns.”
“This is crazy…”
“Look, Jared was upset about losing you as a doctor. You’re obviously upset about losing him too. So…I see this as a win win. You can take a leave from here and go to Texas for the next seven months, and still get paid to do so.”
“I don’t know…”
“Come on,” Chris huffed. “I don’t see what the problem is!”
Alona bit her lip and shifted nervously. “I’ll see if I can. I have to work out everything first.”
“Trust me, it will be worth your while.”
Alona nodded before walking off towards her office, all the while thinking about the offer. Chris smiled as she walked away; he then walked back to Jared room. When he opened the door Jensen looked up at him. He gave a small nod and then went to stand against the wall, allowing the conversations to continue. Jared was almost asleep.
“Think it’s time we get outta here and let Jay sleep,” Sandy spoke up.
“You guys go ahead,” Jensen said. “I’m gonna stay with-“
“No,” Jared protested tiredly. “Go back to the apartment…stay with the boys.”
“But-“
“Jen, all I’m gonna do is sleep and try to not throw up. They’ll need you more.”
As much as Jensen hated to leave, he knew Jared was right. “Fine,” he sighed. “I’ll take care of the boys…but you have to promise to get some rest.”
“I will,” Jared said around a yawn. Jensen leaned down to give him a kiss before following the others out of the room.
“Sandy rode with me,” JD said. “I can give you both a ride back to the apartment. I’ll call Sam and have her drop the kids off.”
“Thanks,” Jensen sighed, running a hand through his hair tiredly.
“I’m going to call a cab…see if I can’t catch a plane back to Texas tonight.”
“You sure? I’m sure Jared wouldn’t care if you stayed the night, Chris.”
“I know…but someone’s got to get the ranch house up and running if you all are moving in,” Chris replied with a smile. “It’s not a problem, Jen. Just take care of your boys. I’ll be fine.” Chris clapped Jensen on the shoulder then headed out to catch a cab and head to the airport. Jensen followed JD and Sandy out to go back to Jared’s apartment. JD called Sam before he pulled out of the parking lot.
After a few moments, they pulled in front of the building and headed inside. JD stood in the hallway talking with Sandy while Jensen went ahead and entered Jared’s apartment. He saw a stack of Jared’s schoolbooks stacked up on the normally clean coffee table. A pile of blankets was draped all over the couch, along with a few pillows. Jensen’s eye also caught the blinking light of the answering machine. He clicked the button to hear it before slumping against the nearby chair.
“Jared! This is your father! I’ve been calling you all damn week! Quit being a little shit and answer your phone! Your mom and I could use some help. We’ve fallen in a bit of a…financial crisis of sorts. You’ve got to send us money! Stop blowing us off! After everything we’ve done for you, you little-“
Jensen cut the message off and deleted it. He could feel anger well up at the thought of Jared’s parents. He believed that they were probably in some form of a “crisis” but he doubted it was that dire. Jared’s parents had a way of elaborating and embellishing when they wanted something, especially from Jared. And Jared definitely didn’t owe them a damn thing. He’d put up with more from them than anyone ever should have to.
“Jensen!” two little voices cried, drawing Jensen’s thoughts away from ways to hunt down Jared’s parents…
He turned towards the boys and saw their red, tear stained faces. “Hey you two.” He walked towards them and knelt down. The twins wrapped their arms around his neck. He could feel wetness against his neck where they had their faces buried. “Shh…don’t cry guys. It’s alright.”
“But…they took Daddy away from school this morning!” Dimi said with a few tears sliding down his cheeks.
“He’ll be ok, buddy.” Jensen rubbed their small backs gently. “He got sick this morning and needed help. That’s all. Al’s fixing him up right now so he can come home soon.”
“He’s ok?” Remy asked softly.
“He’s ok,” Jensen repeated, cupping Remy’s neck. “Think you can put up with me for a few days?”
The twins nodded sadly. “Missed you, Jen,” Remy said. Dimitri agreed. “Just wish Daddy was here too.”
“I know kiddo…I do too.”
“Why can’t you both just stay here?” Remy continued.
“Well,” Jensen sighed, adjusting himself so that he was sitting on the floor by the boys. “I want to talk to you two about that. You remember me telling you how you’d have to come visit me some time and I’d show you the Impala and the horses?” The twins nodded. “Well…how about if that visit is a lot sooner than we had planned and a lot longer?”
“We’re going on vacation?” Dimitri asked, his face scrunched up in confusion.
“Not exactly kiddo.” Jensen pulled the boys over so that they were sitting on his lap. “Your daddy and I were talking…we think it would be a good idea if you all came to stay with me. Your daddy could use some extra help right now ‘til he’s all better…and it might take awhile.”
“We take care of Daddy,” Remy huffed.
“I know you do, little man,” Jensen replied proudly. “You do a great job at it, but you shouldn’t have to all the time. It’s my job too.”
“So we’re leaving?” Dimi questioned.
“We’re all going to be together this time though, buddy.”
“We’re leaving Aunt Sandy, Uncle Misha, Sam and-“
“You’ll still see me sweetheart,” Sam said, coming up behind the boys and kneeling down next to Jensen. “JD and I will come visit and you can still come see us. It will be ok.” Jensen could see the tears in her eyes but was glad she was helping him. “Come on, let’s get you boys to bed. It’s late.” She picked up Dimitri from Jensen’s lap and let him carry Remy. They worked together to change the twins into pajamas and get them tucked into bed.
“Thanks,” Jensen said to Sam once the boys were sleeping. “I’m Jensen by the way.”
“I know,” she answered, looking him up and down. “Heard a lot about you.”
“Hopefully not all bad.” Jensen rubbed at the back of his neck and tried to smile.
“A little of both.” She continued to give him a hard look. “So you plan on taking my boy away from here huh?”
Jensen bit his lip. “He needs help. I’m sure you know by now that he’s pregnant again.” She nodded a yes. “He needs help! He’s running himself into the ground! I heard stories about all the problems he had when he was pregnant with the twins and I can’t just sit back and let him handle it by himself again! I know he has you all and Sandy and Misha…but I want to help him. I love him…”
Sam nodded again and walked over to Jensen. She leaned up and gave him a kiss on his cheek. “Good enough for me.”
Jensen smiled softly. He just hoped it would be good enough for everyone else, especially Jared.
***********
A week later, Jared was finally out of the hospital and ready to leave for Texas. Jensen and Jared’s friends had managed to pack up what was needed. Most of the furniture was staying in the apartment, except for the twins’ bedroom pieces. All of that was going to the ranch, since there wasn’t anything for kids there yet. Jared’s books, clothes, and other items were packed up and already headed to the ranch. His furniture was going to be used by Sandy’s mom, Deb. She was mostly healed up from her fall, but still needed some help. She also wanted to slowly get some of her independence back. Living on her own across the hall from her daughter seemed like the perfect solution.
Jared was thrilled to have his apartment subleased and everything else was taken care of as well. JD had sent the twins’ transcripts and scores to the boys’ new school, which Jensen had already set up for them. Jared’s own school situation had been adjusted as well. Most of his classes were online anyway, but the few that weren’t had been fixed. The professors were understanding and had set up a way for Jared to finish the semester online as well. That way he could still finish everything before the baby came.
So far everyone was taking it all well. JD and Sam hated too see Jared leave, and had made him promise to call as often as he could. Sandy was encouraging, even though she was going to miss him like crazy. Even Matt had been nice about it, telling Jared he was welcome back at the hotel any time he wanted or needed a job. For once, he hadn’t even flirted with Jared. Everyone was being understanding…except Misha.
It wasn’t that Misha was being unsupportive. He was just worried about his friend and everything. Misha had been by Jared’s side throughout most of his pregnancy with the twins. It scared him to think about Jared being so far away with someone else during it all. Misha loved Jared like a brother and wanted nothing more to protect him. Letting him go was proving difficult.
At the end, Misha had ended up helping out, but his heart still wasn’t in it. It was obvious he still didn’t trust Jensen, even though he was working alongside of him to pack up the apartment for Jared. Jared appreciated it and just hoped that one day Misha would learn to like Jensen.
“You ok?” Jensen asked softly, leaning over towards Jared in the cramped space.
Jared shook himself out of his thoughts and tried to smile at Jensen. “I’m ok…just forgot how much I hate flying,” he replied. It wasn’t a complete lie…he really didn’t love flying. But it wasn’t the only thing on his mind. He was still worried about everyone he was leaving behind and everyone he was about to see again…like Jensen’s family.
“You sure? You look really pale. Maybe we should have waited until you weren’t as sick.”
“Hard to tell when that will be,” Jared huffed. While he was out of the hospital and hydrated again, he still looked and felt like utter crap. He still couldn’t eat much of anything or do a whole lot. He was terrified that something was going to happen and was waiting on pins and needles until he was out of the first trimester. Needless to say, he still didn’t want Jensen’s family or the twins to know just yet.
“I’m sorry you are dealing with this shit,” Jensen continued, gently placing his hand against Jared stomach.
“It’s ok,” he sighed. “Will be worth it in the end…if you know…” Jared leaned his head onto Jensen's shoulder and looked at the twins, who were sleeping peacefully in the chairs across from them. Jensen had booked a small private plane through a friend of the family. It was nice; Jared wasn’t sure he could have handled a crowded plane right now.
Jensen moved his hand from Jared’s tiny swell and took Jared’s hand in his, squeezing it slightly. “I think it will. Don’t worry so much.”
“Hard not to, Jen.” The plane hit a slight bit of turbulence. Jared screwed his eyes up tightly as it caused his nausea to spike. He breathed through it as best he could, willing his body to not rebel. While he was doing a little better than before, he was still getting sick all too often. Alona was worried what would happen if it carried on for much longer. She was monitoring it closely of course…and would continue to once she arrived in Texas.
Jared still couldn’t believe Jensen had gotten Alona to take a leave of absence from her position in Denver. She was going to be living in one of the smaller cabins on the ranch. She would still be near but wouldn’t feel as she was too confined. Jared didn’t even want to imagine how much Jensen was paying her for all this. Part of him wanted to be mad at Jensen for doing that, but a bigger part of him was relieved to still be able to have Al as his doctor.
“It’s ok,” Jensen soothed as the plane made it through the last of the rocky flight and landed in a small airport. “You still holding in there, babe?”
Jared just groaned in response, worried talking would make him throw up.
“It’s ok. Just relax for a few minutes. We can wait. Not going anywhere.”
It took a moment but Jared was able to stand and wake the boys up so they could get off the plane. Jared still felt shaky and sick, but he managed to get the twins and himself moving, with a lot of help from Jensen. By the time they got to the terminal, Chris had already gathered their bags. All of the boxes from the apartment had already been sent and were set up in the ranch.
“Hey,” Chris greet once he saw the family come into view. “Flight go ok?”
The twins were still sleepy and were all but hiding behind their dads. Jared still looked as if he was about to fall over himself. Jensen just nodded, wanting nothing more than to get his family to the ranch. Chris must have picked up on that, because he herded everyone out to the Impala. Remy’s face lit up and he was instantly awake at the sight of it.
“Woah! Cool!” He practically bounced around the muscle car, taking it all in.
“How about we get you and your brother buckled in the back, buddy?” Jensen said calmly, loving his son’s reaction. “Once we get home, I’ll show you around it a little more, ok?”
“And the horses?” Dimitri asked hopefully.
“And the horses,” Jensen answered with a small smile.
It didn’t take long after that to get the twins buckled into their car seats and the luggage in the trunk. Chris put some in his truck and followed them out to the ranch. He’d been living in one of the cabins for a few years out there and loved being away from the city. It took a little time to get to the ranch, but it was worth it.
Jared was exhausted by the time they reached the ranch, but he still was amazed by the place. It hadn’t changed much at all in the time he was gone. There were some small changes to accommodate the twins, however it was almost the same as it had been the last time Jared and Jensen had vacationed there five years ago. Jared always did prefer the large ranch house to the cold, stuffy penthouse. Even though the place resembled a mansion on it’s outside, the inside was the warmest and most comfortable place Jared had ever been.
Jared sighed in relief when they entered and the heated air hit his skin. The air was cold outside and snow flurries were even falling on there way there. Jensen had teased the twins, saying that snow must follow them everywhere they went. It had elicited giggles from the little boys and a smile from Jared. As nice as the ride had been, Jared was happy to sink into the leather cushions of the couch. He felt Jensen’s hand settle on his neck.
“You want to go up to bed?”
“I’m good here…don’t want to move just yet.”
“Ok,” Jensen replied. “I’m going to show the twins around while you take a nap.”
“Sounds good,” Jared sighed, his eyes slipping shut. He adjusted himself so that he was lying on his side and curled into himself. He wrapped his arm around his stomach, praying he could make it through the rest of the day without getting sick. Alona had warned that flying could screw with his system and make him even more nauseous, but riding in a car for that long would have done the same at this point. He sighed again and fell into a restless sleep.
About two hours later Jared was awoken by soft voices and a heavy dip on the couch. He opened his eyes to see the twins trying to climb on to the couch with him. “Hey,” he muttered sleepily. “What are you two munchins up to?” Jared yawned widely and pulled the twins towards him.
“People came to see Jen,” Dimi mumbled as he tried to burry himself into Jared side.
“You’re ok, buddy,” Jared soothed. He managed to untangle himself from the squirming twins and pull them out from behind him. “Who came to…” Jared trailed off as Jensen’s parents came into the room. He suddenly felt even sicker to his stomach, and it had nothing to do with the baby. The twins picked up on the change in Jared’s mood and tried to hide again. Jared was still panicking, but he did try to calm down for their sake. “Hey,” he said shakily to his sons, “it’s ok. No hiding…I know you two aren’t shy.”
The twins didn’t answer and still tried to hide. Jared knew this wasn’t going to go well unless he tried to brighten his own mood. He grabbed Remy gently and starting tickling him at his sides. He did the same to Dimi. Both boys were soon laughing too much to realize they were nervous.
“That’s better,” Jared sighed. “Now…I think there are two people who would really like to meet you.” Jared had been avoiding looking up at Alan and Donna throughout most of this, but he finally looked up. He couldn’t read what their expressions meant, so he avoiding their gazes and looked at Jensen.
“Dimitri, Remy, I want you to meet my mom and dad…your grandparents.”
“Grandparents?” Remy asked hopefully, looking them up and down curiously.
“Grandparents are mean,” Dimitri muttered, still pressing himself into Jared. “Don’t want us…”
“Dimi,” Jensen said softly, noticing the hurt look flash across his parents’ faces at his son’s words. “My parents aren’t mean. They are really excited to meet you. They were just like me though. They didn’t-“
“Jen,” Jared softly interrupted. “He’s not talking about them.”
Jensen’s brow knitted in confusion before it dawned on him…Jared’s parents who yelled through the phone and didn’t sensor themselves in their voicemails…
“Dimi,” Jared started, gently pulling the boy onto his lap. “Those were your other grandparents…my mommy and daddy. These are Jensen’s mommy and daddy. They are different. I promise. They want you.” Jared spared them a quick glance, but he couldn’t leave his eyes there for long. “They aren’t mean, baby.”
Donna slowly walked over towards the couch where Jared and the twins were sitting. “Hi Dimi…I’m Donna. My granddaughter…your little cousin…she calls me Nana. You can call me that too if you’d like…or Donna…whatever you want. I just want to be able to get to know you sweetheart.”
Dimi looked up a Jared for reassurance. Jared nodded and squeezed his son’s shoulder. Dimi bit his lip then looked up at Donna. “O-ok…w-would you w-want to see my new room?”
“I’d like that.”
“It’s my room too,” Remy added.
“Well, how about you show me too kiddo?” Alan spoke up. “I’m Alan but you can also call me Granddad if you’d like. Whatever you want, Remy.”
Jared pushed the boys towards Donna and Alan. He could tell they were already earning brownie points with the twins. They didn’t talk down to them, even though they were little, and let them be. It wouldn’t be long before they were as taken with their grandparents as they were with Jensen.
Jensen sat next to Jared and squeezed his shoulder. “You ok?”
Jared nodded. “Didn’t realize how much they knew about my parents…”
“They’ll be fine,” Jensen reassured, kissing Jared’s forehead.
Jared didn’t respond, but continued to look towards the stairs where the twins had taken Alan and Donna up to see their bedroom. He knew he probably should have gone up to with them, but for now he wanted to still avoid Donna and Alan. He couldn’t quite figure out how they felt towards him just yet. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know…
***********
The next couple of weeks went by without anything really happening. Jared managed to avoid his in-laws while the twins lavished in their attention. They always had Sam and JD as surrogate grandparents, in place of Jared’s own parents. But now they were getting so much attention and love from Donna and Alan. Needless to say, the boys were handling the move better than anyone had expected. They still missed the people they left behind in Denver of course. However they loved the ranch and their new school, even if it did still require them to wear stuffy uniforms.
Jensen was thriving, just as Jared had always thought he would with children around. He still had his moments of unease and nervousness, but he was learning to not let them bother him as much as they used to. He was falling into the role of the boys’ other father and Jared’s partner without even realizing it. Jared loved watching it.
What Jared did not love was the fact that he still felt like crap most days. He was nearing the second trimester more and more each day, much to his relief. Yet none of his sickness or generally aches were letting up. It was starting to scare him, even though Alona continued to assure him the baby seemed to be alright. Jared couldn’t stop worrying that he wasn’t eating enough. His stomach had swelled out just enough that you could see it when he wasn’t wearing baggy clothes, but he still hadn’t gained like he needed to. He couldn’t keep much down, even with different diets.
Even the mention of certain foods had Jared running to the bathroom anymore. He hated it, but nothing seemed to help. He wasn’t getting sick as often, yet the aggressiveness of each bout hadn’t lessened. Which was why he was currently curled up in his and Jensen’s bed during the afternoon.
“Hey Jay,” Jensen said, poking his head in from the hallway. He had taken the day off from work to keep an eye on Jared. Alona had stopped by earlier to assure them that it wasn’t anything that would require a trip to the hospital, yet Jensen still worried Jared was getting dehydrated again.
“Hey,” Jared croaked in reply. He didn’t bother moving from the bed; he just didn’t feel that well today.
“Still feel like shit?” Jensen walked across the room and sat down next to Jared on the bed. He started to run his fingers through Jared’s long damp hair.
“Pretty much,” Jared sighed. He moved slightly so that his face was buried into Jensen’s side.
“Guess you just overdid things yesterday, huh?”
“Mmm,” Jared groaned in response. One of his classes had assigned a twenty-page essay that he had to have finished. He had originally planned on getting it finished early in the day, but poor Dimitri’s asthma had flared up and needed Jared’s attention during the day. He had stayed up late working on the paper instead of getting enough sleep and was now dealing with the consequences. “I felt ok last night…”
“I’m sorry, Jay.” Jensen didn’t stop running his fingers through Jared’s hair. “Was it this bad with the twins?”
“I mean…I was sick a lot but I didn’t even know I was pregnant until I was three months in. I didn’t feel this tired or sick. I hate this. I’m worried something is wrong and I’m not doing something right and-“
“Shh…calm down, babe.” Jensen pressed a kissed to Jared’s forehead. “Don’t do that to yourself.”
Jared sniffled. “But what if I am?”
“Jared…I’ve seen you with the twins. You would never do anything to harm your children, including this little one.” Jensen settled his hand on Jared’s stomach, smiling a bit at the slight roundness to it. “It will be ok.”
“I hope.” Jared groaned again as his stomach rolled with nausea once again. He didn’t need to make a run to the bathroom, but he did burry himself into Jensen’s side a little more.
“Sorry, Jare.” Jensen held Jared close until the younger man relaxed once again. He looked absolutely spent. “How about you get some more sleep? I’ll pick up the twins, and meet up with my parents. Dad mentioned all of us going out to dinner; I’ll just tell them you weren’t feeling too hot. They know you’ve been sick…they just don’t know about…well,” Jensen rubbed Jared’s stomach gently, “this.”
“And I don’t want them to,” Jared panted. “Not yet…”
“I know it babe. They’ll know soon. Only a few more weeks to go.”
“That’s just ‘til I get the second trimester. Can still go wrong after that, Jen.”
“But it’s a step in the right direction.” Jensen smiled a little at Jared.
Jared returned the smile, just not as hopeful. He wanted to believe everything was going to be ok, but that was hard when he was feeling this bad. “Y-you should head out to get the boys. School lets out soon.”
“You sure you’re going to be ok while I’m gone?”
“I have Al and Chris both on speed dial. My cell is all of a foot away from me. I think I can manage.”
“As long as you’re sure…” Jared gave him a look. “Alright.” Jensen pulled Jared’s blankets up higher around him and tucked him in. “Get some rest, babe. Just call me if you need anything.”
“I promise I will.” Jared leaned up to press his lips to Jensen’s before watching him leave the room. Jared snuggled down further into the pile of blankets and pillows adorning the large bed. He could hear the low rumble of the Impala just as he closed his eyes and fell into a restless sleep. He was plagued with nightmares…most of which involved his past violent miscarriages and similar bloody horrors.
After one particularly gruesome dream, Jared awoke with a start. His stomach dipped and rolled as he jerked up in the bed. Before he could move from the bed, he lost what meager amount of food he had had for lunch all over the bed sheets. He groaned as his stomach continued to roll and twist at the smells. He had tears streaming down his face from the sickness and he felt absolutely gross. He didn’t think it could get any worse…
But then it did…
“Jared?”
Jared heard footstep coming towards him and all he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and hide away from the world. This day was proving awful and was about to get a hundred times worse for him. He silently willed the bed to just swallow him up as someone knocked and then opened his bedroom door…it was Jensen’s mom Donna.
“Jared? Why are you…oh honey,” she gasped as she looked up at him in the soiled sheets. She walked over towards the bed and checked his forehead for a fever. He did feel warm to the touch, making her start to worry. “Let’s get you up, Jare.” Her voice was much softer than it had been when she first walked into the room.
Jared screwed his eyes shut, completely embarrassed and panicking. He didn’t even realize he was shaking his head frantically.
“Shh…sweetie, stop,” Donna soothed in a motherly tone, the one Jared had missed so much. “Come on.” Donna gently pulled Jared up from the bed. About half way out of the sheets, he felt his nausea becoming too much again and he managed to move out from her grasp so he could make it to the bathroom. He still made quite the mess of his shirt, but it was better than throwing up on his mother in law.
He jumped from his place on the floor when he felt Donna’s hand settle on his lower back. “I’m sorry, Jay.” She rubbed his back gently. “Do you guys keep the sheets where they always are?”
Jared nodded. “Hall cabinet,” he croaked out, his head still bent over the toilet.
Donna squeezed his shoulder then left to go clean up the bedroom for him. She took off all the sheets and changed them to a new set. She cleaned up and put them in the washer downstairs before grabbing Jared a new shirt from his dresser. She hurried back into the bathroom. Jared was now slumped against the tub with his head hanging down tiredly. He had dark circles under his eyes and was shaking slightly.
“I brought you a clean shirt. Let me help you,” Donna said softly.
“N-no I can d-do it.”
“Hun, you’re shaking like a leaf. Let me help.”
“But…no…I-“
“Jared, just let me help.” Before Jared could protest, Donna was already kneeling down next to him and sliding his soiled shirt off his clammy body. He screwed his eyes shut again and waited for the shit to hit the fan. “Oh my God!”
Jared kept his eyes shut but he could feel her hand on his stomach. He hadn’t gain much weight yet, which wasn’t that surprising given his awful morning sickness. However, with the twins, his stomach hadn’t changed much until later. This time, he already had a slight, smooth bump in place of his toned abs. It wasn’t too noticeable to many, but to someone who had known him so well and had been pregnant herself before…
“Jared? Are you…oh God…you’re pregnant aren’t you??”
Jared felt his cheeks flush and he just nodded; he knew there wasn’t much point in lying now.
“Does Jensen know?” Donna wasn’t trying to sound cold, but she couldn’t help the slight edge in her voice. Jared just nodded again. “How long?”
“We’ve both known since Christmas. I’m twelve weeks.”
“I’m sorry…I had to ask if Jen knew…I just…”
“No,” Jared sighed. “I don’t blame you. I’d hate me too.”
Donna moved to sit down next to Jared against the tub. “Honey, is that why you’ve been avoiding us? You think we hate you?”
“It’s ok…I mean…like I said I don’t blame you. I-“
“We don’t hate you sweetheart. We hate that you left and all, but we still love you, Jay. We were hurt and probably still are.” She wrapped an arm around Jared’s shoulder and pulled him close. “That doesn’t mean we want you to avoid us. We want to be a family again…and you are a part of that family. You and the twins…and this one here.” She put her hand cautiously against his stomach. She hated how cold his skin felt under her hand and how much he was shaking. “Now…let’s get you off this floor, in this shirt, and under the covers again. You’re absolutely freezing! Did you catch some bug or what sweetheart?”
Jared just gaped at her for a moment.
“Come on dear…you can’t stay in here freezing.”
“I…I didn’t catch a bug, Donna. Just…have really bad morning sickness.”
“Did you have that with the twins?”
“I was sick for most of my pregnancy but it wasn’t as bad as this time. I’ve already been put in the hospital once…”
“That’s why Jen left in a rush a couple weeks ago…”
“I was severely dehydrated and collapsed in front of the fifth graders I was supposed to be teaching,” he sighed. “Ended up spending a few days on IVs and a NG tube to give my stomach a break. It helped…but I screwed up yesterday and overdid things. So now I can’t keep any food down.”
“Let’s get you to bed, sweetheart.” Donna gently tugged Jared off the ground and ushered him towards the bed. “You look exhausted…get some sleep. I’ll have something for you when you wake up.”
“I’ll just end up-“
“Just close your eyes and let me deal with that.”
Although Jared didn’t think it would help or work, he followed her instructions. He surprisingly fell asleep within a few seconds. He awoke about an hour later to Donna sitting beside him. He started to move to get out of bed, knowing the twins would be getting home with Jensen soon.
“No…stay laying in bed sweetie.”
“Twins will be here soon…they’ll worry when they see-“
“I told Alan to go ahead and take Jensen and the boys to dinner. I originally came by here to drag you out with us, but now I want them to stay away for a bit. Just stay where you are…I’m going to bring something up for you to eat.”
Jared wanted to argue but she had already left the room. She returned a moment later with a plate of crackers and a cup of steaming liquid. Jared watched her bring it close to him skeptically.
“Did I ever tell you how awful my pregnancy with Mack was?” Jared shook his head. “Carrying that little girl around was more difficult than both my boys combined! I had the worst morning sickness…even ended up in the hospital like you did. It took me months to figure out foods that didn’t make me feel like my stomach was trying to turn itself inside out. This,” she paused to hold of the plate, “was the only thing that would help.”
“Crackers?”
“Yep…saltine crackers in bed. If you eat before you get up and moving, it can help. Gingerroot tea was also a godsend.”
“I-I’ll try.”
“That’s all I’m asking,” Donna said with a smile as she watched Jared slowly nibble on the crackers and sip on the tea. It took Jared a while to eat them, but he managed to swallow everything down without dashing off to the bathroom. “Now,” Donna continued, “you should stay in bed for a while before getting up. Let everything settle. I swear it made a world of difference for me.”
“Thanks,” Jared sighed in relief.
“Of course…it’s what family is for, Jared. No need to suffer on your own.”
Jared sniffled a little at her words. He’d been doing so much for so long by himself that it was nice to have this again. He’d forgotten how good it felt.
***********
Jensen woke as his alarm blared to life. With a groan, he reached over to click the dreaded thing off. He was about to click the snooze button when he saw the date.
“Jay!” he loudly whispered as he gently shook Jared awake.
“Mmm…go back to sleep, Jen…” Jared rolled away from Jensen.
“Jared!” Jensen leaned over Jared and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Wake up…do you know what today is?”
With another moan, Jared rolled back over so that he could see the clock and the digital numbers of the date. His lips curled in a smile as he saw what those numbers were.
“You did it, babe.” Jensen leaned over him and pulled him towards his chest. “You made it through the first trimester.”
Jared could only nod for a moment. “But…that doesn’t mean I’m-“
“It means something though, Jare.”
“I hope so. I’m getting tired of hiding it from the twins. Pretty sure they know something is up.”
“Knowing them…probably,” Jensen laughed.
Before Jared could respond their bedroom door creaked open and two little faces peered inside from the hallway. They were trying to be quiet and covert, but they ended up stumbling rather loudly into the room, landing on each other in a heap. They didn’t appear to be hurt, however they were definitely struggling to untangle themselves. Jensen decided to take mercy on them and help.
“What are you two doing up already?”
“We heard you talking,” Remy answered.
“We were worried about Daddy,” Dimitri continued softly.
“Why are you guys worried about me, kiddo?” Jared asked from the bed.
“You’ve been sick every morning. We thought you’d have to be taken away again. Then we heard you up already and-“
“Shh…it’s ok,” Jensen soothed as he picked up both his sons. He carried them over to the bed and laid them down next to Jared. The boys snuggled into Jared side as Jensen climbed back onto his part of the bed.
“Aww…I’m going to be alright, munchins.” Jared hugged them close.
“Why have you been so sick?” Remy asked.
“What’s wrong Daddy?” Dimitri added with wide eyes.
Jared looked up to Jensen, who sent him in a nod in reply. “Well…do you two remember last year when your friend Jake became a big brother? How his daddy’s stomach got really big for Jake’s little brother?”
“He walked like a penguin,” Dimitri said around a small giggle.
“He did,” Jared replied with a smile. “Well…if everything goes right…I’ll be walking like a penguin soon too.” Jared pushed the blankets down and pulled his shirt up for the boys to see. The boys looked in awe at the difference in Jared’s stomach. “Dimi, Remy, want you to meet your new baby brother or sister.”
Next Chapter -->
Masterpost
A/N: This is the last post of 2011 for me and I hope you enjoyed it! This past year has been an amazing journey and I want to thank you all for making it so nice here on livejournal and supporting my fics. You all mean so much to me! I want to wish you all an amazing New Year!