The Glass Cliff
I have noticed that my angst about work doesn't seem to necessarily be directly tied to how well or how badly my days are going. There are some days when I am reasonably productive but still feel as though I am behind the eight ball, like today. I deliberately worked more hours today because I wanted to be in early to greet our newest employee and then I stayed late on purpose to discuss another employee with her supervisor (who was working a night shift, which starts an hour after I normally end work), and arguably I got a lot done. I followed up on a bunch of things that needed following up on, I finished revising a document that I promised for someone last week, I sorted out the employee pay, solved two separate computer mysteries, and set up a whole bunch of meetings over the next few weeks. In spite of all of that, I spent the whole day feeling a general malaise about everything, feeling as though I was prioritizing the wrong things anyway.
What likely didn't help was the news that yet another employee is 90% likely to be leaving for another job at the end of July. *sigh* He has to pass one more test to qualify, but the odds are good he will pass, so that's that. If he leaves and the employee I mentioned the other day also has to go on sick leave (which he will, sooner rather than later), we will officially no longer have enough staff to run the unit 24/7.
I hate that this is happening on my watch. None of it is under my control, but the stupid anxiety voice in my brain keeps telling me that when the manager returns in the fall she is going to use this as "proof" that she was right all along and that I'm actually incompetent and that the unit failed because of me. The thing is, it's not entirely unlikely that she will act that way, even though objectively speaking all of the employees who left in the last year did so of their own accord in order to find better jobs and KK left before I was even the acting manager (because *she* was the acting manager at the time!).
I've half-joked that this feels a lot like the glass cliff, that I took the reins just as we're about to collapse under the weight of being underfunded, understaffed, and mismanaged for the better part of a decade, and that joke isn't feeling all that funny right about now.
*sigh*
In way better news, Peggy successfully slept in bed with me last night! She didn't destroy anything, didn't pee on the carpet, and didn't declare war on the cats at 1:00 am. She was a bit wriggly, but overall she cuddled up like a champ and slept most of the way through the night. I am very pleased, and I am going to try again tonight. Yesterday she was VERY tired from playing all day with her friend Shadow, so we'll see how she does after a quiet day at home while I was at work. Time will tell. :)
This entry was originally posted at https://mousme.dreamwidth.org/1490432.html, where there are currently
comments. Feel free to comment wherever you'd like!
What likely didn't help was the news that yet another employee is 90% likely to be leaving for another job at the end of July. *sigh* He has to pass one more test to qualify, but the odds are good he will pass, so that's that. If he leaves and the employee I mentioned the other day also has to go on sick leave (which he will, sooner rather than later), we will officially no longer have enough staff to run the unit 24/7.
I hate that this is happening on my watch. None of it is under my control, but the stupid anxiety voice in my brain keeps telling me that when the manager returns in the fall she is going to use this as "proof" that she was right all along and that I'm actually incompetent and that the unit failed because of me. The thing is, it's not entirely unlikely that she will act that way, even though objectively speaking all of the employees who left in the last year did so of their own accord in order to find better jobs and KK left before I was even the acting manager (because *she* was the acting manager at the time!).
I've half-joked that this feels a lot like the glass cliff, that I took the reins just as we're about to collapse under the weight of being underfunded, understaffed, and mismanaged for the better part of a decade, and that joke isn't feeling all that funny right about now.
*sigh*
In way better news, Peggy successfully slept in bed with me last night! She didn't destroy anything, didn't pee on the carpet, and didn't declare war on the cats at 1:00 am. She was a bit wriggly, but overall she cuddled up like a champ and slept most of the way through the night. I am very pleased, and I am going to try again tonight. Yesterday she was VERY tired from playing all day with her friend Shadow, so we'll see how she does after a quiet day at home while I was at work. Time will tell. :)
This entry was originally posted at https://mousme.dreamwidth.org/1490432.html, where there are currently
comments. Feel free to comment wherever you'd like!