questions for forgiveness
someone told me today i never say the things i love. is it necessary? i dont know. do you want to hear that i love you? because you know i do. do YOU want to hear that i love you? because you should know that too. you don't know enough about me to say i dont love enough. i told him one thing i loved and he didnt know it. i guess no one does. maybe you don't know that i love you. maybe you don't know what i love. maybe you dont know me as well you think you do...maybe you should want to know more.
i love...
watching the sunset. kites. productive moods. writing. the army of freshmen. trashcans that you push open with your foot. taco bell. my god, do i love taco bell. having money. being drunk. my new cell phone. the way music can say everything you cant. getting A's. pabbby for being so crazy. having so much time you dont know what to do with yourself. wet hair...but only if its mine. the smell of chlorine. writing in mechanical pencil. jeremy sumpter, he is a beaut. sra's screen name. the song "teen idol" by rxb. the way andrew from soco gets so angry during "if u c jordan" and jumps on his piano. my fireplace. crocheting. the feel of cold sand on your feet. going skinny dipping. hanging out with a weird group of people. getting caught up in the moment. whipped cream. jimmy because im so happy. daydreaming. doing something i hate with people i love. concerts. skiing. i love everything someone does that makes them happy. i love the people that care about me and i always have fun with. i love the memories i can picture in my head of good times past. do you remember when...do you just remember? oh, listen to me. could you EVER? can i cry over the things we've lost being so stupid? to everyone...i could write something seperate to each one of you. to you...you were my best friend. its funny how one fight can change a friendship. can dissolve it completely. i'd love to remember the last conversation we'd had on good terms. its funny how its been over a year since we've talked and i still wish we were friends. and to you. oh...you know we'll hang in there when after awhile we can still lay on your bed and talk about nothing and be completely content. and oh, i wish i could say this a toi...if that one is your top priority, i will think much less of you. and to you..."we fucked it up really good". and we did. if there was one thing i could change i'd take back that night, so much would be different. and to you....im so much changed, so much for the better. you've brought my happiness with you, you've brought what i've cried for for so long. and to you...well...you're just CRAZY. i hope i love enough for you. if you only knew...but you should.
i love...
watching the sunset. kites. productive moods. writing. the army of freshmen. trashcans that you push open with your foot. taco bell. my god, do i love taco bell. having money. being drunk. my new cell phone. the way music can say everything you cant. getting A's. pabbby for being so crazy. having so much time you dont know what to do with yourself. wet hair...but only if its mine. the smell of chlorine. writing in mechanical pencil. jeremy sumpter, he is a beaut. sra's screen name. the song "teen idol" by rxb. the way andrew from soco gets so angry during "if u c jordan" and jumps on his piano. my fireplace. crocheting. the feel of cold sand on your feet. going skinny dipping. hanging out with a weird group of people. getting caught up in the moment. whipped cream. jimmy because im so happy. daydreaming. doing something i hate with people i love. concerts. skiing. i love everything someone does that makes them happy. i love the people that care about me and i always have fun with. i love the memories i can picture in my head of good times past. do you remember when...do you just remember? oh, listen to me. could you EVER? can i cry over the things we've lost being so stupid? to everyone...i could write something seperate to each one of you. to you...you were my best friend. its funny how one fight can change a friendship. can dissolve it completely. i'd love to remember the last conversation we'd had on good terms. its funny how its been over a year since we've talked and i still wish we were friends. and to you. oh...you know we'll hang in there when after awhile we can still lay on your bed and talk about nothing and be completely content. and oh, i wish i could say this a toi...if that one is your top priority, i will think much less of you. and to you..."we fucked it up really good". and we did. if there was one thing i could change i'd take back that night, so much would be different. and to you....im so much changed, so much for the better. you've brought my happiness with you, you've brought what i've cried for for so long. and to you...well...you're just CRAZY. i hope i love enough for you. if you only knew...but you should.