Un-wasting a day
Today I got trapped by the weather.
My grand plans dashed.
I was going to fix the bumper on the F150. The years of parallel parking on the streets of the Bronx, Manhattan and Brooklyn have taken its toll; overpopulation, demand for space, relentless ticket-writers, indifferent drivers, or individuals devoid of any kind of respect for the property of others... they all contribute to tell a story written in scrapes, scratches, and dents.
Then the tonneau cover. Nearly ten years ago, I bought it new from a shop on highway 60, leaving Florida. Its made its way up and down the east coast, crossed much of the midwest, lived in the Rockies and the unwavering mountain passes within, and survived several vicious New York winters, both upstate and within the boroughs. It too has become tattered and unsightly, its velcro barely holding on, stitching letting go, and holes developing in the surface. It still takes care of business 90% of what it did new, just doesnt look quite as pretty doing it, but with 98k miles of getting pounded by wind, Id say Ive gotten my money out of it.
Then theres the brakes. Not that theyre throwing up red flags, but after the endless winter's unyielding salt bath, its a maintenance item Id prefer not to neglect. The wheels can rust to the brake rotors. The brake rotor can rust to the axle. A flat tire fix can suddenly turn into 10x the problem it ought to be. A little grease prevents all that, and a little more on the caliper slide pins buys another year of smooth, strong pressure on the pads.
I depend on that truck to get me to the firehouse. My wife depends on it to get to her job. Soon we will depend on it to get our little one around town and eventually to school.
Not to be all sappy and shit about the truck; this isnt a Ford commercial where I love my dog and mud tires (I DO love my dogs, and coincidentally, Ive been very happy with the tires on the truck, but thats irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Still though, dont cheap out on tires; your saving a buck there could cost you and someone else big time.) Theres a plenty good chance I could sell it for something else tomorrow.
Theres a metaphor in there though, and I didnt intend to write about this when I sat down, but we all have someone or something in life that we care about, and enjoy some mutual dependence with, and it has to do with time.
So much of life seems to hinge on time. TV dinners, the microwave, express buses, HOV lanes, EZ-Pass, 10-items-or-less, Seamless, all to service the concept that no one has the "time" to take care of things themselves. That we're all too busy. I know Im guilty of declaring it.
"I dont have time!"
But its a lie. Its usually due to somehow fucking off and not having the self discipline to stop within a reasonable period.
A hang over. Sleeping in (particularly on a nice day. In the rain, thats different.) But watching TV, scrolling through facebook (such a a ridiculous waste of time; "So thats what an omelet looks like!") 'Other,' (you pervs with your wooden socks know who you are,) Grand Theft Auto... GTA, you are a real whore.
We have time. We just flush it down the figurative toilet, then eat fucking hot pockets and call our wife/family member/friend/dog/lizard, and lie to them about being really busy and maybe next time and blah blah blah, and we miss out. Its an opportunity lost. Memories not created. Stresses not annihilated through laughter that never occurred, social skills retarded just a little bit more. Diarrhea for no good reason.
Funny thing is the tequila hangover, the drool soaked pillow, the Maury Show, Facebook or whatever flavor of the minute narcissistic celebration website is relevant next, the garment youre jerking off in to, or the game you refuse to unplug from, none of that is going to hold your hand on a cross country road trip, play cards with you during a snowy power outage, walk with you through your golden years, or say nice things about you at your funeral.
But the people will. Your pets will (obviously not literally, but theyll appreciate the attention.)
In the here and now they all need maintenance in a similar, maybe less greasy way, that truck does. Relationships demand nurturing, no matter how much theyll say, "Dont sweat it; next time!"
We all think tomorrow is a lock; that its going to be like today, but with a different menu, but it can change so fast.
People get hit by lightning, by buses, bit by snakes, strokes, heart attacks, get married, have their own kids, their own priorities, and sometimes they just move away. They dont always leave us, sometimes we leave them, sometimes long before.
Its cliched sure, but the people we cross paths with in life deserve to be appreciated, from the big ones; the people we share a home with, down to the one who hands you a cup of coffee before you hop on the train in the morning. Its so easy to let them become insignificant by our own oblivious indifference, but each interaction has its own huge story behind it; its own hopes, dreams, uphill struggle, its own dog or cat anxiously awaiting their return, and for all of us, the time is fleeting.
We say we dont have time, but the fact of the matter is, time is all we have. Everything else is immaterial; you might have a title, or a claim, or whatever tells other people to keep their dirty paws off, but eventually we're all going to go, and all that stuff that you "owned" stays behind.
But we have the time now. We have the opportunity to make other people special; not just "feel" special, but literally BE special, and its in how we maintain our relationships.
It starts with unplugging, and reaching out. Whoevers out there you might be thinking of is going to be elated to hear from you. Unless theyre taking a shit. Then just leave a message. Theyll call back and THEN be elated.
My grand plans dashed.
I was going to fix the bumper on the F150. The years of parallel parking on the streets of the Bronx, Manhattan and Brooklyn have taken its toll; overpopulation, demand for space, relentless ticket-writers, indifferent drivers, or individuals devoid of any kind of respect for the property of others... they all contribute to tell a story written in scrapes, scratches, and dents.
Then the tonneau cover. Nearly ten years ago, I bought it new from a shop on highway 60, leaving Florida. Its made its way up and down the east coast, crossed much of the midwest, lived in the Rockies and the unwavering mountain passes within, and survived several vicious New York winters, both upstate and within the boroughs. It too has become tattered and unsightly, its velcro barely holding on, stitching letting go, and holes developing in the surface. It still takes care of business 90% of what it did new, just doesnt look quite as pretty doing it, but with 98k miles of getting pounded by wind, Id say Ive gotten my money out of it.
Then theres the brakes. Not that theyre throwing up red flags, but after the endless winter's unyielding salt bath, its a maintenance item Id prefer not to neglect. The wheels can rust to the brake rotors. The brake rotor can rust to the axle. A flat tire fix can suddenly turn into 10x the problem it ought to be. A little grease prevents all that, and a little more on the caliper slide pins buys another year of smooth, strong pressure on the pads.
I depend on that truck to get me to the firehouse. My wife depends on it to get to her job. Soon we will depend on it to get our little one around town and eventually to school.
Not to be all sappy and shit about the truck; this isnt a Ford commercial where I love my dog and mud tires (I DO love my dogs, and coincidentally, Ive been very happy with the tires on the truck, but thats irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Still though, dont cheap out on tires; your saving a buck there could cost you and someone else big time.) Theres a plenty good chance I could sell it for something else tomorrow.
Theres a metaphor in there though, and I didnt intend to write about this when I sat down, but we all have someone or something in life that we care about, and enjoy some mutual dependence with, and it has to do with time.
So much of life seems to hinge on time. TV dinners, the microwave, express buses, HOV lanes, EZ-Pass, 10-items-or-less, Seamless, all to service the concept that no one has the "time" to take care of things themselves. That we're all too busy. I know Im guilty of declaring it.
"I dont have time!"
But its a lie. Its usually due to somehow fucking off and not having the self discipline to stop within a reasonable period.
A hang over. Sleeping in (particularly on a nice day. In the rain, thats different.) But watching TV, scrolling through facebook (such a a ridiculous waste of time; "So thats what an omelet looks like!") 'Other,' (you pervs with your wooden socks know who you are,) Grand Theft Auto... GTA, you are a real whore.
We have time. We just flush it down the figurative toilet, then eat fucking hot pockets and call our wife/family member/friend/dog/lizard, and lie to them about being really busy and maybe next time and blah blah blah, and we miss out. Its an opportunity lost. Memories not created. Stresses not annihilated through laughter that never occurred, social skills retarded just a little bit more. Diarrhea for no good reason.
Funny thing is the tequila hangover, the drool soaked pillow, the Maury Show, Facebook or whatever flavor of the minute narcissistic celebration website is relevant next, the garment youre jerking off in to, or the game you refuse to unplug from, none of that is going to hold your hand on a cross country road trip, play cards with you during a snowy power outage, walk with you through your golden years, or say nice things about you at your funeral.
But the people will. Your pets will (obviously not literally, but theyll appreciate the attention.)
In the here and now they all need maintenance in a similar, maybe less greasy way, that truck does. Relationships demand nurturing, no matter how much theyll say, "Dont sweat it; next time!"
We all think tomorrow is a lock; that its going to be like today, but with a different menu, but it can change so fast.
People get hit by lightning, by buses, bit by snakes, strokes, heart attacks, get married, have their own kids, their own priorities, and sometimes they just move away. They dont always leave us, sometimes we leave them, sometimes long before.
Its cliched sure, but the people we cross paths with in life deserve to be appreciated, from the big ones; the people we share a home with, down to the one who hands you a cup of coffee before you hop on the train in the morning. Its so easy to let them become insignificant by our own oblivious indifference, but each interaction has its own huge story behind it; its own hopes, dreams, uphill struggle, its own dog or cat anxiously awaiting their return, and for all of us, the time is fleeting.
We say we dont have time, but the fact of the matter is, time is all we have. Everything else is immaterial; you might have a title, or a claim, or whatever tells other people to keep their dirty paws off, but eventually we're all going to go, and all that stuff that you "owned" stays behind.
But we have the time now. We have the opportunity to make other people special; not just "feel" special, but literally BE special, and its in how we maintain our relationships.
It starts with unplugging, and reaching out. Whoevers out there you might be thinking of is going to be elated to hear from you. Unless theyre taking a shit. Then just leave a message. Theyll call back and THEN be elated.