(no subject)
i know that at the beggining of the year i promised not to write posts like these, but i just need to vent
i absolutely HATE my life right now, i mean its not even my whole life, and there are a lot of good things but i just cant deal anymore.... this college thing is killing me and my house has become unbearable to live in once more.... and the thing is, usually my way out of it is camp and by this time of year i am counting down and everything, but this year its different i dont know why, its not like i dont wanna go, its just that problems this year are not really going to be solved by leaving, ( i know running away never really solves anything, but when i hanve problems at home, usually time appart does the trick) thi year maybe trouble at home will be ok, but for the entire time im there i will still not know what the hell im doing next year and even when i come back i know right now i see everything as a no win situation, if i pass that test, i will have to go to a school to which i no longer want to go to, if i fail ill probably end up at the school i want, but im not sure my parents can handle it economically and as much as i want to go there i cant ask them for that, money is such a big issue right now and i feel sooo selfish and its all a mess, and yes i am a drama queen...
i wish u guys were closer to me sooo badly, i miss u
i absolutely HATE my life right now, i mean its not even my whole life, and there are a lot of good things but i just cant deal anymore.... this college thing is killing me and my house has become unbearable to live in once more.... and the thing is, usually my way out of it is camp and by this time of year i am counting down and everything, but this year its different i dont know why, its not like i dont wanna go, its just that problems this year are not really going to be solved by leaving, ( i know running away never really solves anything, but when i hanve problems at home, usually time appart does the trick) thi year maybe trouble at home will be ok, but for the entire time im there i will still not know what the hell im doing next year and even when i come back i know right now i see everything as a no win situation, if i pass that test, i will have to go to a school to which i no longer want to go to, if i fail ill probably end up at the school i want, but im not sure my parents can handle it economically and as much as i want to go there i cant ask them for that, money is such a big issue right now and i feel sooo selfish and its all a mess, and yes i am a drama queen...
i wish u guys were closer to me sooo badly, i miss u