i don't have a subject, just a ramble...
so i spent one of the best nights ever with my best friend, her husband, and their two kids last night. it was her birthday, and SHE cooked chicken on the grill FOR ME. how cool is that. her husband made himself scarce for awhile, either playing video games or going down to the river to fish, so we had some girl-chat time and then pigged out with the kids on the chicken, green beans, and these weird cheese-filled bratwurst/hotdog-type things which sound terrible but are actually somewhat edible when burned beyond recognition and acceptance of what they truly might be. then, the kids and i (much to the chagrin of their mother...) started playing this weird game with (what is now a broken)Nerf-like arrow that is launched from (what is now a broken) launching apparatus in the middle of their living room.
the kids are 7 and 9 years old and total animals, which is just how i like them. the little one was launching at me, and i was catching the arrow and then hand-launching it back to him for awhile, while his brother was upstairs doing some impossible task on a Playstation (or Cube, i can't keep up with it all). the 7 year old thought it was hilarious when i hand-launched the arrow straight into his groin twice and straight into his face three times (Auntie is very good shot). He asked his mother if he could shoot the arrow at the perpetually-in-motion ceiling fan, and she said NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT, YOU COULD PUT AN EYE OUT THAT WAY. Now, she knows me well enough by now that I am the Auntie and I get to teach the kids all manner of naughty things, so the minute her back was turned and she was doing some stupid thing in the laundry room, like doing laundry on her birthday, the kid looks at me with that gleam in his eye and says, "Should I do it now?!"
And me being the Auntie, my eyes gleamed right back at him and I said, "Of COURSE, you nimrod!"
So he did, and he hit one of the blades square-on, which stopped the fan and also the annoying squeak of the fan momentarily, and that was it: we were conspirators for life and i coerced him into doing that again and again for at least nine times.
Then the 9 year old comes down and makes a nuisance of himself right in the middle of the game, like all 9 year olds do, and knocked me twice upside the head jumping in front of me to get the arrow. The 7 year old screams, "LET AUNTIE HAVE A CHANCE TO GET IT BECAUSE SHE IS OLD!" So they let me jump around on the couch for awhile and dodge the 9 year old and hit the 7 year old in the crotch one more time before the 9 year old had a milk-induced asthma attack, the Nerf-like feathers fell off the arrow, the launching apparatus fell on the floor too hard and busted something off itself, and my best friend was looking at me with her hands on her hips from the door of the laundry room and with a mixture of consternation and "have you lost your mind?!" on her face.
We then clicked through alternating sessions of "So You Think You Can Dance?" and "America's Talent Show" or whatever it is called, and the kids SCREAMED with laughter about the 7'0 tall drag-queen-cum-fairy-princess who balanced knives on his forehead, and then they did their own rendition of the "La-Da-Da-Dee" song complete with hand movements and gyrations, and then it was 9:45 pm and WAY past their bedtimes and they were nutso with exhaustion and laughter and it was a really good night.
i believe that some of my good humor was directly linked to the fact that THE MAN (i.e., Travis) is coming to New England and i will be able to see THE MAN (i.e., Travis) on possibly TWO occasions in August, and the knowledge of this was only slightly marred by the fact that on one occasion, his show is at a half-rate redneck tittie-bar in Podunkassville, New Hampshire, so who knows how focused and undistracted he will remain as his head is convulsing in all that adult entertainment hoorah bullshit and contemplation, but it'll be my first time in a tittie-bar, so who knows, I might get all tassled-and-g-stringed-up and do a little dance of my own around the slippery-slidy pole...but i doubt it, because i'm a Virgo and that would be entirely too unseemly and those shoes are just ridiculous and bad for one's arches...
but just seeing Travis again will be a big, fat, chocolate cream-filled delight, i'm sure.
the kids are 7 and 9 years old and total animals, which is just how i like them. the little one was launching at me, and i was catching the arrow and then hand-launching it back to him for awhile, while his brother was upstairs doing some impossible task on a Playstation (or Cube, i can't keep up with it all). the 7 year old thought it was hilarious when i hand-launched the arrow straight into his groin twice and straight into his face three times (Auntie is very good shot). He asked his mother if he could shoot the arrow at the perpetually-in-motion ceiling fan, and she said NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT, YOU COULD PUT AN EYE OUT THAT WAY. Now, she knows me well enough by now that I am the Auntie and I get to teach the kids all manner of naughty things, so the minute her back was turned and she was doing some stupid thing in the laundry room, like doing laundry on her birthday, the kid looks at me with that gleam in his eye and says, "Should I do it now?!"
And me being the Auntie, my eyes gleamed right back at him and I said, "Of COURSE, you nimrod!"
So he did, and he hit one of the blades square-on, which stopped the fan and also the annoying squeak of the fan momentarily, and that was it: we were conspirators for life and i coerced him into doing that again and again for at least nine times.
Then the 9 year old comes down and makes a nuisance of himself right in the middle of the game, like all 9 year olds do, and knocked me twice upside the head jumping in front of me to get the arrow. The 7 year old screams, "LET AUNTIE HAVE A CHANCE TO GET IT BECAUSE SHE IS OLD!" So they let me jump around on the couch for awhile and dodge the 9 year old and hit the 7 year old in the crotch one more time before the 9 year old had a milk-induced asthma attack, the Nerf-like feathers fell off the arrow, the launching apparatus fell on the floor too hard and busted something off itself, and my best friend was looking at me with her hands on her hips from the door of the laundry room and with a mixture of consternation and "have you lost your mind?!" on her face.
We then clicked through alternating sessions of "So You Think You Can Dance?" and "America's Talent Show" or whatever it is called, and the kids SCREAMED with laughter about the 7'0 tall drag-queen-cum-fairy-princess who balanced knives on his forehead, and then they did their own rendition of the "La-Da-Da-Dee" song complete with hand movements and gyrations, and then it was 9:45 pm and WAY past their bedtimes and they were nutso with exhaustion and laughter and it was a really good night.
i believe that some of my good humor was directly linked to the fact that THE MAN (i.e., Travis) is coming to New England and i will be able to see THE MAN (i.e., Travis) on possibly TWO occasions in August, and the knowledge of this was only slightly marred by the fact that on one occasion, his show is at a half-rate redneck tittie-bar in Podunkassville, New Hampshire, so who knows how focused and undistracted he will remain as his head is convulsing in all that adult entertainment hoorah bullshit and contemplation, but it'll be my first time in a tittie-bar, so who knows, I might get all tassled-and-g-stringed-up and do a little dance of my own around the slippery-slidy pole...but i doubt it, because i'm a Virgo and that would be entirely too unseemly and those shoes are just ridiculous and bad for one's arches...
but just seeing Travis again will be a big, fat, chocolate cream-filled delight, i'm sure.