Update!!
Ok I've been neglecting my lj, bad kitty bad. Ok here's the skinny on my daughter friends and guys (in this order b/c its in order of importance)
ISIS
We went to PA last week to see the specialist and get chemo. The specialist said that the tumors are dead and 1/3 the size they were two months ago!! YAAAAAAYY!!! They said she may just have a lazy eye, which is treatable itself. Everything is going so well as Harry Zidler would say. Though on the trip home she couldn't keep anything down and threw up four times. So far she hasn't been so bad as that but she still loses it ever so often. Good thing is it doesn't seem to phase her. We clean her up change her clothes and she goes back to doing whatever she was doing before. I can only thank our great mother and father for that. She's currently napping right now so shhhhh! She is such a bright kid I look forward to teaching her how to read and count. I look forward to when she can speak so I can hear about the things she thinks about. I know later when she is walking and talking that I will miss holding her and rocking her to sleep. I just wish her happiness and health and pray she doesn't later hate me for being a single mom. She is my jewel, my muse, my life. I want nothing but good things for her. I love her so much! She does the cutest things. She loves to unpack bags and stuff. Not really looking for anything. I guess she's just trying to free the stuff inside. She likes to play with my hair and the has the sweetest way of laying her head on my shoulder. You'd have to see it cause I don't think I have the ablity to describe it and do it justice. She likes to chase Dizzy and grandpa plays supergirl w/ her and she loves to fly and crash into the dog (poor Dizzy). She likes watching the DBZ videos w/ Uncle DJ and even falls asleep durring one of them. She is truly a wealth of cutness.
FRIENDS
Well where to start? Julia and I are better. We spoke and apologized for deeds we were unaware the other was mad about. But that's what happens when there is so much going on that you can't think straight. I'm sorry to hear about her and Rick. Rick was a good guy and I think it could have worked had Julia the opportinaty to go to school closer to home.
I recently discovered from Adam that everyone is mad at me. According to him there is distaste whenever my name is mentioned. All I can say to that is if there is a problem guys please talk to me about it. What is accomplished if all is done is talking to someone else about it. That someone else will be unable to speak for the offender and many times the offender is clueless that she has offended. So, lets be honest and if there's a prob come talk to me. You know I always apologoze if I am in the wrong. I also discovered from Adam that he is mad at me and refused to discuss it. I am again clueless to the thing that I did and told him so. His response was if you don't know you don't care so I won't tell you. I'm confused to how that comment is conductive to a solution to the problem I've caused. Nomally I would ask people if they knew what Adam was talking about it but I don't see the point. When Adam is ready to talk he'll talk plain and simple.
Amie's party is this friday and as much as I'd like to quiver in anticapation for the event, I am oddly luke warrm about it. Don't get me wrong I am looking forward to it but I'm not waiting on the edge of my chair. It maybe that I've lost my Smhain spirit do to recent events and a particlaur guy. I won't go further about it because that's for the guy part of this entry. Anyway, I do look forward to giving Amie her present I think she'll really like it. I have to keep myself from giving it to her early. I haven't wrapped it yet for that reason. I am interested to see who will be at this gala. I've heard bits and pieces of the guest list and I still don't know all who were invited or will be coming. I have a feeling I'll be making it an early night, how L7 is that? Oh well, maybe someone will throw a coke can in the fire that will exploid, that would keep me at the party longer. Just kidding Ray.
GUY
or shall I give him a name. Like everyone doesn't know.
SCOTT
He is diriving me crazy. He isn't doing it on purpose and I think it's more me than anything else. I don't know how to explain this without making myself sound crazy. Simply he is all that I have ever wanted. Even as a child pretending to be a princess in a tower (yes ladies and gentleman I Dawn have dreamed of being a damsel in distress anyone breathes a word of this to scott and its curtains got it tee hee), I dreamed of a tall dark handsome knight to scale the tower walls and save me. My knight would be more than brawn but brain too (I don't mean the lab mouse either). Scott is this. Well he hasn't scaled the tower walls to save me yet. But he has the dark hair and eyes I've always drooled over about a guy. He is tall enough to rest his cheek on my head. These things are trival compared to the wealth of knowledge he has. We can have conversations about philsophy and religion without getting into an agrument. We talk of books we've read and the stories we are dreaming of having published. We talk of movies and comics. I've never had that. I was close with Andy but there were somethings that ended in arguement. Were is the problem you ask? Well Scott wishes for a shallow life where he can't get hurt. He was jaded by two bad relationships and fears it happening again. He wants to date and not care about the chic he is with at the time. He isn't capiable of this. He is a much deeper person than that. The proof is he doesn't want to hurt anyone in the process. Well, when you date to be shallow someone gets hurt. He knows this but is fighting himself about it. I care about him and have developed the want to be there for him. I recently discovered that I was playing the role of the girlfriend w/o the title or the benefits. I've put myself in this and I've been racking my brain to figure out how to get out of it. It would be easier if he was the jerk he's trying to be but he can't seem to do it. It also doesn't help that we have something of a rollercoaster relationship. Durring the week he's able to do the whole looking-to-date-many-chichs thing but when the weekend rolls around he comes to me to fill the lonely space. I welcome him because I want the lonely space filled too and I would love him to fill it. Then we talk about it on sunday. Maybe I am crazy b/c I'd rather this than nothing. I beleive that some event changing mettling entity is mocking me. The other day we went out just running errands and we had Isis. In Walmart and Meijer Isis was sitting in the cart and he was pushing it and playing with her. It felt so nice I had to push him away from the cart and push it myself. I'm trying so hard not to fall for him but I think I've failed. May Eros watch over us all.
ISIS
We went to PA last week to see the specialist and get chemo. The specialist said that the tumors are dead and 1/3 the size they were two months ago!! YAAAAAAYY!!! They said she may just have a lazy eye, which is treatable itself. Everything is going so well as Harry Zidler would say. Though on the trip home she couldn't keep anything down and threw up four times. So far she hasn't been so bad as that but she still loses it ever so often. Good thing is it doesn't seem to phase her. We clean her up change her clothes and she goes back to doing whatever she was doing before. I can only thank our great mother and father for that. She's currently napping right now so shhhhh! She is such a bright kid I look forward to teaching her how to read and count. I look forward to when she can speak so I can hear about the things she thinks about. I know later when she is walking and talking that I will miss holding her and rocking her to sleep. I just wish her happiness and health and pray she doesn't later hate me for being a single mom. She is my jewel, my muse, my life. I want nothing but good things for her. I love her so much! She does the cutest things. She loves to unpack bags and stuff. Not really looking for anything. I guess she's just trying to free the stuff inside. She likes to play with my hair and the has the sweetest way of laying her head on my shoulder. You'd have to see it cause I don't think I have the ablity to describe it and do it justice. She likes to chase Dizzy and grandpa plays supergirl w/ her and she loves to fly and crash into the dog (poor Dizzy). She likes watching the DBZ videos w/ Uncle DJ and even falls asleep durring one of them. She is truly a wealth of cutness.
FRIENDS
Well where to start? Julia and I are better. We spoke and apologized for deeds we were unaware the other was mad about. But that's what happens when there is so much going on that you can't think straight. I'm sorry to hear about her and Rick. Rick was a good guy and I think it could have worked had Julia the opportinaty to go to school closer to home.
I recently discovered from Adam that everyone is mad at me. According to him there is distaste whenever my name is mentioned. All I can say to that is if there is a problem guys please talk to me about it. What is accomplished if all is done is talking to someone else about it. That someone else will be unable to speak for the offender and many times the offender is clueless that she has offended. So, lets be honest and if there's a prob come talk to me. You know I always apologoze if I am in the wrong. I also discovered from Adam that he is mad at me and refused to discuss it. I am again clueless to the thing that I did and told him so. His response was if you don't know you don't care so I won't tell you. I'm confused to how that comment is conductive to a solution to the problem I've caused. Nomally I would ask people if they knew what Adam was talking about it but I don't see the point. When Adam is ready to talk he'll talk plain and simple.
Amie's party is this friday and as much as I'd like to quiver in anticapation for the event, I am oddly luke warrm about it. Don't get me wrong I am looking forward to it but I'm not waiting on the edge of my chair. It maybe that I've lost my Smhain spirit do to recent events and a particlaur guy. I won't go further about it because that's for the guy part of this entry. Anyway, I do look forward to giving Amie her present I think she'll really like it. I have to keep myself from giving it to her early. I haven't wrapped it yet for that reason. I am interested to see who will be at this gala. I've heard bits and pieces of the guest list and I still don't know all who were invited or will be coming. I have a feeling I'll be making it an early night, how L7 is that? Oh well, maybe someone will throw a coke can in the fire that will exploid, that would keep me at the party longer. Just kidding Ray.
GUY
or shall I give him a name. Like everyone doesn't know.
SCOTT
He is diriving me crazy. He isn't doing it on purpose and I think it's more me than anything else. I don't know how to explain this without making myself sound crazy. Simply he is all that I have ever wanted. Even as a child pretending to be a princess in a tower (yes ladies and gentleman I Dawn have dreamed of being a damsel in distress anyone breathes a word of this to scott and its curtains got it tee hee), I dreamed of a tall dark handsome knight to scale the tower walls and save me. My knight would be more than brawn but brain too (I don't mean the lab mouse either). Scott is this. Well he hasn't scaled the tower walls to save me yet. But he has the dark hair and eyes I've always drooled over about a guy. He is tall enough to rest his cheek on my head. These things are trival compared to the wealth of knowledge he has. We can have conversations about philsophy and religion without getting into an agrument. We talk of books we've read and the stories we are dreaming of having published. We talk of movies and comics. I've never had that. I was close with Andy but there were somethings that ended in arguement. Were is the problem you ask? Well Scott wishes for a shallow life where he can't get hurt. He was jaded by two bad relationships and fears it happening again. He wants to date and not care about the chic he is with at the time. He isn't capiable of this. He is a much deeper person than that. The proof is he doesn't want to hurt anyone in the process. Well, when you date to be shallow someone gets hurt. He knows this but is fighting himself about it. I care about him and have developed the want to be there for him. I recently discovered that I was playing the role of the girlfriend w/o the title or the benefits. I've put myself in this and I've been racking my brain to figure out how to get out of it. It would be easier if he was the jerk he's trying to be but he can't seem to do it. It also doesn't help that we have something of a rollercoaster relationship. Durring the week he's able to do the whole looking-to-date-many-chichs thing but when the weekend rolls around he comes to me to fill the lonely space. I welcome him because I want the lonely space filled too and I would love him to fill it. Then we talk about it on sunday. Maybe I am crazy b/c I'd rather this than nothing. I beleive that some event changing mettling entity is mocking me. The other day we went out just running errands and we had Isis. In Walmart and Meijer Isis was sitting in the cart and he was pushing it and playing with her. It felt so nice I had to push him away from the cart and push it myself. I'm trying so hard not to fall for him but I think I've failed. May Eros watch over us all.