Name: Dairine Callahan
Age: 13
Series:
Young Wizards Canon: In Diane Duane's Young Wizards series, becoming a wizard isn't all fancy boarding schools and wands. In fact, the titular batch of characters have to live normal, integrated lives while solving problems throughout the universe in an attempt to slow entropy, which is A Very Bad Thing. The abstracts in charge of maintaining the laws of wizardry and sending the wizards "on errantry" are referred to as The Powers That Be, which essentially boil down to any entity (or entities) anyone chooses to acknowledge. The wizardry itself is spoken and woven into visual threads in a language called the Speech, which everything, animate or otherwise, has the ability to understand. Wizards usually begin any interaction with Dai Stihó, as greeting the person you're talking to is only polite. Because the Speech is so integral to incredible power, it is essential that all wizards attempt to speak the truth at all times.
Fortunately, some are better at exercising truth in sarcasm than others. Dairine Callahan is a young wizard who followed in her older sister's steps to learn wizardry. Young, brilliant, and independent, Dairine tends to leap more times than looking and is an avid fan of comics and Sci-Fi. An incredibly powerful wizard when she started, her powers peaked quickly with the creation of an entire sentient, silicon-based species, and began to wane at a similar velocity. That, however, doesn't keep her from having big plans and expectations. She has been known to work with a colorful cast of characters, including a conifer-like, lingerie decorations-obsessed being named Filif. Her constant companion is a sentient laptop named Spot, who has a mental connection with Dairine and also happens to serve as her manual, the catch-all reference book for wizards.
Sample Post:
Spot, do we really have to go through this again? How can I trust you if you're all "uh-oh"s and syntax errors? And now really isn't the time. I'm almost getting more convinced by the minute that we're stuck on Dagobah and Yoda's going to come hobbling around the corner any minute. That would be pretty great, I have to admit. "Dai, Yoda, what's up? Any words of wisdom for being stuck in a mysterious swamp with faulty hardware? No? How about some tea?" At least he'd make more sense than you right now. Well! Maybe you should take offense to that, Spot. I asked for that diagrammatic readout three hours ago and you're just now delivering it to me? Well, I don't need it anymore, thanks. Cut the LJ act. It stopped being cute when you started up with the goat-themed error messages. I don't want that Frank character near you or your hardware. Come on, let's look for helpful, non-fictional life forms.
Looks like the cows are our best bet for right now. Dai Stihó, mind telling us exactly where we are? We're a little... Oh! Mechanical? I should've been able to tell from back there! Are you naturally occurring or...? Right. Back on track. So, you're saying we're in a place called... are you getting this, Spot? See-Cud? Well, I've heard of stranger places, but I'm a little annoyed I haven't heard of this one. And it's in the state of "Lazy Amble"? No, of course I don't doubt you. Geez. I'm just wondering if maybe some of this is getting lost in translation. Does the overarching landmass have a name? The United States of Amoorica. Now I know we're speaking cow. Thanks for your help, but I think we'll go commune with the trees. The pine's puns are probably better.
Or, they would be better if the trees weren't engaged in some sort of turf war. Woah, hold off on the underwear chucking for a minute! Maybe we can discuss the issue. What-- Are you serious? This is actually a case of boxers versus briefs? Oh, come on. I may not be the most technically qualified to resolve this issue, but I can't believe you're bickering over it to begin with. Come on, Boxers tree, what's your beef? And Briefs tree, what could you have to possibly complain about? Okay, fine, I get it. So here's the compromise. Boxers tree, all Briefs is looking for is a little support and maybe some lift on the "coolness" front, and Briefs tree, all Boxers tree would like is for you to chill out and stop constricting its freedom so much, got it? Now, wasn't that easy! Who knows, maybe one day your seedlings will produce a compromise. And so, if you could help my associate and I, we'd be really grate-- Uggh! What is this?! Keep these panties away from my head, Lingerie tree!
You're not exactly the first tree I've known who's interested in spilling Victoria's Secret. I just wish you wouldn't do it on me.
Voting went
here @ 94.6%