Dialogue: Circle of Life
The scene: Last night, The Summer Shack. My MOM and DAD are taking me and the FAM out to dinner for my birthday. Being the birthday girl, I have no qualms about ordering the lobster. PATOOT wants her own crustacean too, but MOM and I convince her to get the chicken fingers with the understanding that I will share mine.
PATOOT: (gesturing toward the front of the restaurant) I want to go to the tanks and see them pull out our lobster.
ME: Um. Okayyyyy.
MUNCHKIN: Yeah! I wanna see da lobstah!
My DAD offers to take the kids up to the tank in question where they will at least be able to see lobsters, if not the one fated to become my birthday meal plucked from his brethren.
MOM: (raising eyebrows at me) Sooooo, I guess Lily isn't squeamish about the fact she's going to be eating something that is, at the moment, alive. You know, this is around the age when kids realize their food comes from animals and decide they are vegetarians.
ME: Yeah, but it's a LOBSTER. It probably doesn't count as alive to her.
ESPOSO: True. She wouldn't want to meet the cute, feathery chicken destined to be turned into her nuggets. But I agree. Lobsters are different. They're just big bugs.
ME: They are NOT bugs. They are CRUSTACEANS and they are DELICIOUS.
ESPOSO: *shrugs*
My DAD, PATOOT and the MUNCHKIN return. We entertain them for a few more minutes until our meals finally arrive. The waiter puts my steaming red lobster in front of me with a flourish.
PATOOT: Can I have the claw? Please, Mommy! I LOVE the claw! *salivates*
MUNCHKIN: (watching my plate intently) Mommy?
ME: Yes, honey?
MUNCHKIN: Dat lobstah's not crawlin. We he not crawlin?
ME: Um. Because I'm eating him.
ESPOSO: I guess we know which one has the vegetarian tendencies.
PATOOT: CAN I EAT ITS LEGS TOO???
Fin.
Sorry, Sebastian. If you're looking for sanctuary, I'd try the boy. The girl would probably just start melting butter.
PATOOT: (gesturing toward the front of the restaurant) I want to go to the tanks and see them pull out our lobster.
ME: Um. Okayyyyy.
MUNCHKIN: Yeah! I wanna see da lobstah!
My DAD offers to take the kids up to the tank in question where they will at least be able to see lobsters, if not the one fated to become my birthday meal plucked from his brethren.
MOM: (raising eyebrows at me) Sooooo, I guess Lily isn't squeamish about the fact she's going to be eating something that is, at the moment, alive. You know, this is around the age when kids realize their food comes from animals and decide they are vegetarians.
ME: Yeah, but it's a LOBSTER. It probably doesn't count as alive to her.
ESPOSO: True. She wouldn't want to meet the cute, feathery chicken destined to be turned into her nuggets. But I agree. Lobsters are different. They're just big bugs.
ME: They are NOT bugs. They are CRUSTACEANS and they are DELICIOUS.
ESPOSO: *shrugs*
My DAD, PATOOT and the MUNCHKIN return. We entertain them for a few more minutes until our meals finally arrive. The waiter puts my steaming red lobster in front of me with a flourish.
PATOOT: Can I have the claw? Please, Mommy! I LOVE the claw! *salivates*
MUNCHKIN: (watching my plate intently) Mommy?
ME: Yes, honey?
MUNCHKIN: Dat lobstah's not crawlin. We he not crawlin?
ME: Um. Because I'm eating him.
ESPOSO: I guess we know which one has the vegetarian tendencies.
PATOOT: CAN I EAT ITS LEGS TOO???
Fin.
Sorry, Sebastian. If you're looking for sanctuary, I'd try the boy. The girl would probably just start melting butter.