It's a nice day for a white wedding (just not mine?)
I wonder if I can get back into the habit of writing on here ...
So I am, of course, back home on spring break. I will be leaving again for school at an indeterminate time; my ride wants to go back on Saturday morning, whereas I really don't want to leave until Sunday. (I mean, there's really no rush to get back for me.) Since I'm not going to make my ride leave later, I may need to try to find a new ride ... or I'll end up going back on Saturday *sigh*
Actually, it's situations like the ride here that make me realize just how awkward I am compared to many other girls. My classmate could just keep talking about random things and asking me pertinent questions, but as soon as the ball was in my court, the conversation just sort of ... petered out. Granted, when she asks about things like dating, I'm not going to have much to say:
Girl: So, are you dating someone right now?
Me: ... No.
Me: ... *must think of something to say to get out of this awkward moment, other than "I have people issues and have never dated anyone ever!" because that makes me sound wholly pathetic*
Me: ... I get so preoccupied with classes and the newspaper that the social component of my life just sometimes drops out completely ^_^ */lie*
Girl: ... Oh. Right.
Me: ... *maybe that wasn't the right thing to say o.o*
Yeah, it was kind of awkward. I'm terrible with people.
This was further proved to me this morning. My brother recently began dating this girl who he really likes (they've basically been dating for months but it took a while, I guess, for him to convince her to be officially "in a relationship"). He's been keen on introducing her to everyone -- since she goes to our church, it's not so terribly awkward for her to have met my parents, and my brother wanted me to meet her too. So he introduced us after the service this morning. And I really, really didn't know what to say, though I made a valiant effort (because I know if my brother has anything to say about it, she's going to be sticking around), and she was talkative enough that she carried the conversation for a while. She seems like a nice, good-natured girl, though she's younger than me by a year or so (and I think she wears too much make-up, but as a girl who usually goes au natural, I suppose I can't judge). It's been a while since my brother had a girlfriend, and he seems really happy, and she seemed eager enough to make a good impression on me that I might extrapolate that she's happy too. Well, then I'm happy for them.
... I really don't understand dating though. That might seem like a silly statement, but ... it's just that there are so few times that I don't feel utterly awkward when I'm around a guy (even one I don't have any romantic inclinations toward), that the idea of "dating" someone is just mind-boggling. I wish there was some way to just ... not be awkward, to not worry about what other people thought of my every little move. (Because honestly, they are probably more concerned about their own moves than mine.)
I suppose I shouldn't worry since I've had few brushes with dating. And that's perfectly logical, because there have been precious few times when I've been on good terms with a guy. So I shouldn't blame my own inadequacies so much; I tell myself it is not that I'm so undesirable, I just haven't met the right guy.
I guess.
I suppose this is on my mind because, well, I met my brother's girlfriend today, and I went to the wedding shower of a friend from high school yesterday, and another friend from high school just got into her first "official" relationship. And, as usual, my mom asks me if I've met any nice boys at school.
You know, it's been a while since I've so much as had a serious crush on someone.* In a way it's refreshing -- I don't have to constantly be thinking about if I'll see him or if he notices me -- but it's also somehow lonely. I don't know why; having a crush should be the lonelier state. It's just the feeling of, "Can't I even like someone frivolously?" But on the other hand, maybe it's a sign that I've grown up a little and would be more prepared for an "adult" relationship if one ever comes along. I don't have to like someone to be whole, and that means I'm a fuller person.
(Stop snickering, you know what I mean by "adult.")
(I'll probably develop a crush within two weeks now that I've yammered on about this.)
Anyway, other than the shower yesterday, I also had the opportunity to hang out with my lovely friends Jen and Traci. Thanks so much for being willing to get together at such short notice ♥ I had lots of fun and I kind of wish I had an Xbox ... but no worries, it'll be a long, looong time before I come close to getting one.
Today I listened to a bit of the dub for Jyu-Oh-Sei. Oh, my. Young!Thor was voiced by a girl. And it totally sounded like a girl. I know, he's supposed to be 11, but seriously, Minami Takayama (♥ ♥ ♥ even if she is a girl) sounded waaay manlier in the Japanese. AND! Even teen!Thor had a rather high voice, which was disturbing to say the least. Come on, isn't he supposed to be super-tough and intimidating? You know, he like, kills people and all o.o
(Zagi and Third were not terrible but not sexy at all, at least from what I heard. And Chen sounded manlier than Thor 9.9 Thor's definitely the worst. Sad, too, since no one seemed like a particularly bad actor, just their chosen voices for their characters were odd.)
Ah, ah, so here's a funny story from a few weeks back that I keep meaning to put in writing.
For my children's lit course, we have "round table" presentations/discussions after finishing each children's book. For these discussions, we meet in a different location than the usual classroom so that we can all sit facing each other. One Thursday, the location for the round table was different than the rest of the round tables (but we'd only had previous round table, so our other location was not very established). The prof didn't mention it in class, but it was plain to see on the syllabus, which I knew was up to date. So, I left at my usual time for class and made my way to the designated location, a large room off the library lobby. I got there with 5 minutes to spare ...
... And the room was empty.
Well, almost. There was one guy there, but I didn't recognize him.
After a moment, I finally spoke. "Do you know if there's supposed to be a class in here today?"
He looked at me strangely. "I'm just here for A/V stuff. Were you the one who called?"
"No ... but maybe it was my professor. I think we're supposed to meet here today. I wonder why no one's here yet."
I sat down at the table and tried to look busy. A few minutes passed. Now it was 10:30 a.m., the time for class to start. I was still the only one from my class in the room; the professor had not shown up either.
Feeling very self-conscious and flustered, I gathered my stuff and said to the A/V guy, "I'm just going to check the classroom we usually meet in."
As I left the building and headed toward the FAC (where our usual class is) I couldn't help thinking, "Drat, this will be the first time I'll ever be late for class. Why for something stupid like this? Is everyone in the classroom? Did they go to the other place where we had a round table? I checked the syllabus three times! ... If I can't find anyone, I'll just have to skip. Argh, I don't want to be a delinquent!"
Fortunately for me, as I crossed to the FAC, my professor was crossing toward the building I'd come from. I was so incredibly relieved to see her.
"Professor H___! I was waiting in the ____ but no one else came! That is where we're supposed to have our class, isn't it?"
She confirmed it. Together we walked to the proper building. Two girls were in the meeting room when we came, though they weren't sitting. They said that they had been looking for the professor, and that everyone else was in the location we'd used for the first round table. They then left to bring the others over.
My professor left also for a few minutes, and I was all alone in the room once more.
Finally, the class began to trickle in, and we began our discussion -- about 10-15 minutes late.
I still can't believe that, of a 20-some person class, I was the ONLY ONE who bothered to check the syllabus.
(I feel like there's probably a word for people like me, but I don't think it's very complimentary.)
These kinds of stories are ones I mean to share. (And there's always erm, "interesting," stuff going on in the Chimes' office, heh.) Why don't I seem to have time for writing anymore? I need to integrate that (as well as reading for pleasure instead of homework) back into my schedule.
Well, that's all. Good night.
*Well. There was interim. But ... that doesn't count as even a crush because it didn't last long and he was way too young o_o Which makes the situation sound much weirder than it was. Erm, yes, please disregard this ^^;
So I am, of course, back home on spring break. I will be leaving again for school at an indeterminate time; my ride wants to go back on Saturday morning, whereas I really don't want to leave until Sunday. (I mean, there's really no rush to get back for me.) Since I'm not going to make my ride leave later, I may need to try to find a new ride ... or I'll end up going back on Saturday *sigh*
Actually, it's situations like the ride here that make me realize just how awkward I am compared to many other girls. My classmate could just keep talking about random things and asking me pertinent questions, but as soon as the ball was in my court, the conversation just sort of ... petered out. Granted, when she asks about things like dating, I'm not going to have much to say:
Girl: So, are you dating someone right now?
Me: ... No.
Me: ... *must think of something to say to get out of this awkward moment, other than "I have people issues and have never dated anyone ever!" because that makes me sound wholly pathetic*
Me: ... I get so preoccupied with classes and the newspaper that the social component of my life just sometimes drops out completely ^_^ */lie*
Girl: ... Oh. Right.
Me: ... *maybe that wasn't the right thing to say o.o*
Yeah, it was kind of awkward. I'm terrible with people.
This was further proved to me this morning. My brother recently began dating this girl who he really likes (they've basically been dating for months but it took a while, I guess, for him to convince her to be officially "in a relationship"). He's been keen on introducing her to everyone -- since she goes to our church, it's not so terribly awkward for her to have met my parents, and my brother wanted me to meet her too. So he introduced us after the service this morning. And I really, really didn't know what to say, though I made a valiant effort (because I know if my brother has anything to say about it, she's going to be sticking around), and she was talkative enough that she carried the conversation for a while. She seems like a nice, good-natured girl, though she's younger than me by a year or so (and I think she wears too much make-up, but as a girl who usually goes au natural, I suppose I can't judge). It's been a while since my brother had a girlfriend, and he seems really happy, and she seemed eager enough to make a good impression on me that I might extrapolate that she's happy too. Well, then I'm happy for them.
... I really don't understand dating though. That might seem like a silly statement, but ... it's just that there are so few times that I don't feel utterly awkward when I'm around a guy (even one I don't have any romantic inclinations toward), that the idea of "dating" someone is just mind-boggling. I wish there was some way to just ... not be awkward, to not worry about what other people thought of my every little move. (Because honestly, they are probably more concerned about their own moves than mine.)
I suppose I shouldn't worry since I've had few brushes with dating. And that's perfectly logical, because there have been precious few times when I've been on good terms with a guy. So I shouldn't blame my own inadequacies so much; I tell myself it is not that I'm so undesirable, I just haven't met the right guy.
I guess.
I suppose this is on my mind because, well, I met my brother's girlfriend today, and I went to the wedding shower of a friend from high school yesterday, and another friend from high school just got into her first "official" relationship. And, as usual, my mom asks me if I've met any nice boys at school.
You know, it's been a while since I've so much as had a serious crush on someone.* In a way it's refreshing -- I don't have to constantly be thinking about if I'll see him or if he notices me -- but it's also somehow lonely. I don't know why; having a crush should be the lonelier state. It's just the feeling of, "Can't I even like someone frivolously?" But on the other hand, maybe it's a sign that I've grown up a little and would be more prepared for an "adult" relationship if one ever comes along. I don't have to like someone to be whole, and that means I'm a fuller person.
(Stop snickering, you know what I mean by "adult.")
(I'll probably develop a crush within two weeks now that I've yammered on about this.)
Anyway, other than the shower yesterday, I also had the opportunity to hang out with my lovely friends Jen and Traci. Thanks so much for being willing to get together at such short notice ♥ I had lots of fun and I kind of wish I had an Xbox ... but no worries, it'll be a long, looong time before I come close to getting one.
Today I listened to a bit of the dub for Jyu-Oh-Sei. Oh, my. Young!Thor was voiced by a girl. And it totally sounded like a girl. I know, he's supposed to be 11, but seriously, Minami Takayama (♥ ♥ ♥ even if she is a girl) sounded waaay manlier in the Japanese. AND! Even teen!Thor had a rather high voice, which was disturbing to say the least. Come on, isn't he supposed to be super-tough and intimidating? You know, he like, kills people and all o.o
(Zagi and Third were not terrible but not sexy at all, at least from what I heard. And Chen sounded manlier than Thor 9.9 Thor's definitely the worst. Sad, too, since no one seemed like a particularly bad actor, just their chosen voices for their characters were odd.)
Ah, ah, so here's a funny story from a few weeks back that I keep meaning to put in writing.
For my children's lit course, we have "round table" presentations/discussions after finishing each children's book. For these discussions, we meet in a different location than the usual classroom so that we can all sit facing each other. One Thursday, the location for the round table was different than the rest of the round tables (but we'd only had previous round table, so our other location was not very established). The prof didn't mention it in class, but it was plain to see on the syllabus, which I knew was up to date. So, I left at my usual time for class and made my way to the designated location, a large room off the library lobby. I got there with 5 minutes to spare ...
... And the room was empty.
Well, almost. There was one guy there, but I didn't recognize him.
After a moment, I finally spoke. "Do you know if there's supposed to be a class in here today?"
He looked at me strangely. "I'm just here for A/V stuff. Were you the one who called?"
"No ... but maybe it was my professor. I think we're supposed to meet here today. I wonder why no one's here yet."
I sat down at the table and tried to look busy. A few minutes passed. Now it was 10:30 a.m., the time for class to start. I was still the only one from my class in the room; the professor had not shown up either.
Feeling very self-conscious and flustered, I gathered my stuff and said to the A/V guy, "I'm just going to check the classroom we usually meet in."
As I left the building and headed toward the FAC (where our usual class is) I couldn't help thinking, "Drat, this will be the first time I'll ever be late for class. Why for something stupid like this? Is everyone in the classroom? Did they go to the other place where we had a round table? I checked the syllabus three times! ... If I can't find anyone, I'll just have to skip. Argh, I don't want to be a delinquent!"
Fortunately for me, as I crossed to the FAC, my professor was crossing toward the building I'd come from. I was so incredibly relieved to see her.
"Professor H___! I was waiting in the ____ but no one else came! That is where we're supposed to have our class, isn't it?"
She confirmed it. Together we walked to the proper building. Two girls were in the meeting room when we came, though they weren't sitting. They said that they had been looking for the professor, and that everyone else was in the location we'd used for the first round table. They then left to bring the others over.
My professor left also for a few minutes, and I was all alone in the room once more.
Finally, the class began to trickle in, and we began our discussion -- about 10-15 minutes late.
I still can't believe that, of a 20-some person class, I was the ONLY ONE who bothered to check the syllabus.
(I feel like there's probably a word for people like me, but I don't think it's very complimentary.)
These kinds of stories are ones I mean to share. (And there's always erm, "interesting," stuff going on in the Chimes' office, heh.) Why don't I seem to have time for writing anymore? I need to integrate that (as well as reading for pleasure instead of homework) back into my schedule.
Well, that's all. Good night.
*Well. There was interim. But ... that doesn't count as even a crush because it didn't last long and he was way too young o_o Which makes the situation sound much weirder than it was. Erm, yes, please disregard this ^^;