Oh bother.
I don't want to be here. I didn't want to be at work. I don't want to go home.
I really don't want to be anywhere right now.
This is what I meant when I said that everything was getting too far away too fast. I got my first tattoo yesterday, and it seems like it was years ago. The memory is faded, tattered. I look at it fondly, but since it was painless and didn't take a terribly long time, the physical motions you go through to get body work done aren't even imprinted.
Seeing Kenny was great. The drive was great. Everything was fantastic. It seems a million miles away. Explaining my relationship with Nirvana to Jimmy. Getting pulled over (for the 16th or 17th time) and not getting a ticket (for the 16th or 17th time... I swear, don't they record this shit?). New tattoo. Everything. Awesome.
Sleeping alone, feeling alone.
After a mediocre day at work (I didn't do anything and there will be hell to pay tomorrow)(maybe) and then another shift directly afterwards... I was starting to feel human after four days off and one fucking Wednesday turned it all around. Damn damn damn.
Tomorrow after work, I go to Josh's to play some piano. They're auditioning a new bassist and that should be exciting. Josh has the touch with bass, not with guitar, but I guess he'll do what makes him happy. Not that he isn't fantastic on the guitar, but Jesus.
Alex. ... Alex.
I hate you. I love you. I never want to see you again. Take me back. Don't touch me.
... I don't want to touch anybody but you.
Well, I guess I figured out where I want to be. Safe in his arms. Now to find a place that exists in the now.
EEEEEMO.
I love Kiva. "Hey, look at that douchebag." "That douchebag?" "Yeah, that douchebag." "Man, that guy's a douchebag." "That guy is a douchebag." 5 minutes later: "Hey, look at that douchebag..."
I really don't want to be anywhere right now.
This is what I meant when I said that everything was getting too far away too fast. I got my first tattoo yesterday, and it seems like it was years ago. The memory is faded, tattered. I look at it fondly, but since it was painless and didn't take a terribly long time, the physical motions you go through to get body work done aren't even imprinted.
Seeing Kenny was great. The drive was great. Everything was fantastic. It seems a million miles away. Explaining my relationship with Nirvana to Jimmy. Getting pulled over (for the 16th or 17th time) and not getting a ticket (for the 16th or 17th time... I swear, don't they record this shit?). New tattoo. Everything. Awesome.
Sleeping alone, feeling alone.
After a mediocre day at work (I didn't do anything and there will be hell to pay tomorrow)(maybe) and then another shift directly afterwards... I was starting to feel human after four days off and one fucking Wednesday turned it all around. Damn damn damn.
Tomorrow after work, I go to Josh's to play some piano. They're auditioning a new bassist and that should be exciting. Josh has the touch with bass, not with guitar, but I guess he'll do what makes him happy. Not that he isn't fantastic on the guitar, but Jesus.
Alex. ... Alex.
I hate you. I love you. I never want to see you again. Take me back. Don't touch me.
... I don't want to touch anybody but you.
Well, I guess I figured out where I want to be. Safe in his arms. Now to find a place that exists in the now.
EEEEEMO.
I love Kiva. "Hey, look at that douchebag." "That douchebag?" "Yeah, that douchebag." "Man, that guy's a douchebag." "That guy is a douchebag." 5 minutes later: "Hey, look at that douchebag..."