Because You Can Sleep All You Want After You're Dead
Not Really My Kind Of Moonlight Serenade
Mos-cat: [prances into the room] You knowz what?
Myownspecialself: [snores] … I know it's 3:00 AM, if that's what you mean.
Mos-cat: Okay, I tellz you what. I HAZ A SONATA.
Myownspecialself: [snores some more] Mmm… great…
Mos-cat: "Mmm… great"?! Why doezn't you haz an enthusiasm?
Myownspecialself: [asleep] …What do you mean? This is my I'm-so-happy-for-you face. [snores]
Mos-cat: [annoyed] Do you know what your problem iz?
Myownspecialself: [still asleep; sighs wearily] Yes, I do. My problem is that I'm a pet owner. That could change any minute now.
Mos-cat: [ignores him] Your problem iz you doez not haz an appreciate on my creativity.
Myownspecialself: [still asleep; incredulous] Huh? A who on a what?
Mos-cat: [patiently] I haz a creativity. Not just a cheezburger, I haz a creativity, too. And you doez not haz an appreciate on it.
Myownspecialself: [asleep and boggled] I… don't even… [after a pause] And you know this because…?
Mos-cat: I thinkz you haz an envy on my abilitiez and you doezn't haz an appreciate on my sonata.
Myownspecialself: Your sonata…
Mos-cat: [proudly] YES. MY. SONATA. You knowz,- da da da dunnnnnnnnnn. [She hums- well, meows, actually- the opening bars of Beethoven's very famous Fifth Symphony].
Myownspecialself: [gives a soft, derisive snort] That's a SYMPHONY, tuna-brain, not a SONATA.
Mos-cat: [not skipping a beat] I knewz that. But anywayz my masterpiece iz a sonata. A sonata for litter box.
Myownspecialself: [starting to boggle again-in his sleep] A sonata for WHAT?!
Mos-cat: [again proudly] Litter box. Kitty-litter box, actually.
Myownspecialself: [groans] Oh. My. God. How is this possible?
Mos-cat: [runs over to the kitty-litter box] Didn't I playz it for you already? [thinks for a moment] Maybe notz. Well, then. My sonata, letz me showz you it right nowz.
Myownspecialself: [almost panicked] No, no, no, that's okay. You don't need to-
Mos-cat: [enthused] It startz out like this. [scrabbles furiously in the kitty litter, which, thank God, was cleaned before everyone went to bed] And then the development of the second theme, I addz in this expressive technique… [sends kitty-litter flying against the hood of the litter box] See? Itz like a hailstorm! [She does this for about 10 minutes]
Myownspecialself: [now awake and so very, very, exhausted] Yeah, great. Now knock it off. I want to go back to sleep.
Mos-cat: [not paying attention] Here'z the closing theme again. [more litter rattles inside the box]. And here comez the minuet movement-
Myownspecialself: [stumbles out of bed and over to the litter box; and raps on the hood] Knock it off, goddamnit! Time to shut down your stupid sonata-
Mos-cat: [startled, jumps out of the box] Yikez! You scaredz me. And you seez? [irritated] You doez not haz an appreciate.
Myownspecialself: [very, very weary] You got that right. And it's now 3:30 AM. So, in conclusion:. Buenas noches. Gute Nacht. Oyasuminasai. You know… *good night*. [slips back into bed and falls asleep quickly]
Mos-cat: [irked; muttering] Philistine. I haz a creativity and you haz an envy and doezn't haz an appreciate.
[She stalks off] Well, appreciate *this*! [She quietly hacks up a hairball in the hallway] Voilà! My latest creation. I callz it "Surprize In The Morning."
[curtain ]
This entry was originally posted at http://myownspecialself.dreamwidth.org/769131.html.
Mos-cat: [prances into the room] You knowz what?
Myownspecialself: [snores] … I know it's 3:00 AM, if that's what you mean.
Mos-cat: Okay, I tellz you what. I HAZ A SONATA.
Myownspecialself: [snores some more] Mmm… great…
Mos-cat: "Mmm… great"?! Why doezn't you haz an enthusiasm?
Myownspecialself: [asleep] …What do you mean? This is my I'm-so-happy-for-you face. [snores]
Mos-cat: [annoyed] Do you know what your problem iz?
Myownspecialself: [still asleep; sighs wearily] Yes, I do. My problem is that I'm a pet owner. That could change any minute now.
Mos-cat: [ignores him] Your problem iz you doez not haz an appreciate on my creativity.
Myownspecialself: [still asleep; incredulous] Huh? A who on a what?
Mos-cat: [patiently] I haz a creativity. Not just a cheezburger, I haz a creativity, too. And you doez not haz an appreciate on it.
Myownspecialself: [asleep and boggled] I… don't even… [after a pause] And you know this because…?
Mos-cat: I thinkz you haz an envy on my abilitiez and you doezn't haz an appreciate on my sonata.
Myownspecialself: Your sonata…
Mos-cat: [proudly] YES. MY. SONATA. You knowz,- da da da dunnnnnnnnnn. [She hums- well, meows, actually- the opening bars of Beethoven's very famous Fifth Symphony].
Myownspecialself: [gives a soft, derisive snort] That's a SYMPHONY, tuna-brain, not a SONATA.
Mos-cat: [not skipping a beat] I knewz that. But anywayz my masterpiece iz a sonata. A sonata for litter box.
Myownspecialself: [starting to boggle again-in his sleep] A sonata for WHAT?!
Mos-cat: [again proudly] Litter box. Kitty-litter box, actually.
Myownspecialself: [groans] Oh. My. God. How is this possible?
Mos-cat: [runs over to the kitty-litter box] Didn't I playz it for you already? [thinks for a moment] Maybe notz. Well, then. My sonata, letz me showz you it right nowz.
Myownspecialself: [almost panicked] No, no, no, that's okay. You don't need to-
Mos-cat: [enthused] It startz out like this. [scrabbles furiously in the kitty litter, which, thank God, was cleaned before everyone went to bed] And then the development of the second theme, I addz in this expressive technique… [sends kitty-litter flying against the hood of the litter box] See? Itz like a hailstorm! [She does this for about 10 minutes]
Myownspecialself: [now awake and so very, very, exhausted] Yeah, great. Now knock it off. I want to go back to sleep.
Mos-cat: [not paying attention] Here'z the closing theme again. [more litter rattles inside the box]. And here comez the minuet movement-
Myownspecialself: [stumbles out of bed and over to the litter box; and raps on the hood] Knock it off, goddamnit! Time to shut down your stupid sonata-
Mos-cat: [startled, jumps out of the box] Yikez! You scaredz me. And you seez? [irritated] You doez not haz an appreciate.
Myownspecialself: [very, very weary] You got that right. And it's now 3:30 AM. So, in conclusion:. Buenas noches. Gute Nacht. Oyasuminasai. You know… *good night*. [slips back into bed and falls asleep quickly]
Mos-cat: [irked; muttering] Philistine. I haz a creativity and you haz an envy and doezn't haz an appreciate.
[She stalks off] Well, appreciate *this*! [She quietly hacks up a hairball in the hallway] Voilà! My latest creation. I callz it "Surprize In The Morning."
[curtain ]
This entry was originally posted at http://myownspecialself.dreamwidth.org/769131.html.