fic: e pluribus, mortuus (g)
Written for the 'Grab your weapon and aim, don't miss' Zombie au ficathon - here
Prompt was 'Community, turns out, there's nothing, not even being a zombie that Britta can't Britta, or, 'How are vegan zombies even a thing anyway?' from
e pluribus, mortuus (g)
It turns out that making friends with someone who has an encyclopaedic knowledge of all things Romero on the first day of class was a really good idea.
It turns out that making friends with someone who has an encyclopaedic knowledge of all things Romero on the first day of class was a really good idea.
Jeff Winger was, therefore, in the best position possible to survive the second zombie apocalypse he’s seen since he started Greendale. Only problem is that no one’s quite sure how to get out of Greendale (that’s always been his issue, though).
So it was that Jeff and the other 4 remaining members of the study group (he’s pretty sure Pierce got eaten by Fat Neil - things got a bit crazy in the initial panic) found themselves staring at the recently-turned Britta Perry. And, get this, because this is where the whole situation becomes truly ridiculous, she’s decided to be a vegan zombie.
No, seriously, Annie got the tofu out of her purple rucksack when Britta started gurgling in protest at being encouraged to eat the recently deceased Professor Jonas’ brains (the guy had tried to hide up a ladder) and sat down to perform a sit-in or something.
“The tofu’s meant to be our food. We’re gonna regret this when we run out. Keeping Zombie Britta alive out of sympathy will score us humanity points, but we need to be practical as well.” Abed protested. Everyone else glared at him. Zombie or not, Britta was still Britta, proven by the fact that she was even Britta-ing being dead. Besides, for all they knew, the crisis could be over by Monday. They’d need entertainment until then.
“I think it’s sweet.” Annie replied.
“You won’t think that when we run out of tofu and she decides that being vegan isn’t worth starving.”
“Don’t be absurd, Abed. She wouldn’t eat us.”
“Jeff’s right. Succumb to her basest instincts and turn us into spawns of the devil, maybe, but Britta’s far too principled to actually eat our brains.” Shirley nodded in agreement. Troy was crouched down near Britta but turned around to comfort his friend.
“Look on the bright side, buddy. Now we won’t have to eat any of Annie’s weird tofu. I mean...my bad.” Jeff sighed, he didn’t even try to cover that one up. It was going to be a long weekend.
Annie glared at him.
“I hope you get eaten by that thing in the Dean’s office.”
Prompt was 'Community, turns out, there's nothing, not even being a zombie that Britta can't Britta, or, 'How are vegan zombies even a thing anyway?' from
e pluribus, mortuus (g)
It turns out that making friends with someone who has an encyclopaedic knowledge of all things Romero on the first day of class was a really good idea.
It turns out that making friends with someone who has an encyclopaedic knowledge of all things Romero on the first day of class was a really good idea.
Jeff Winger was, therefore, in the best position possible to survive the second zombie apocalypse he’s seen since he started Greendale. Only problem is that no one’s quite sure how to get out of Greendale (that’s always been his issue, though).
So it was that Jeff and the other 4 remaining members of the study group (he’s pretty sure Pierce got eaten by Fat Neil - things got a bit crazy in the initial panic) found themselves staring at the recently-turned Britta Perry. And, get this, because this is where the whole situation becomes truly ridiculous, she’s decided to be a vegan zombie.
No, seriously, Annie got the tofu out of her purple rucksack when Britta started gurgling in protest at being encouraged to eat the recently deceased Professor Jonas’ brains (the guy had tried to hide up a ladder) and sat down to perform a sit-in or something.
“The tofu’s meant to be our food. We’re gonna regret this when we run out. Keeping Zombie Britta alive out of sympathy will score us humanity points, but we need to be practical as well.” Abed protested. Everyone else glared at him. Zombie or not, Britta was still Britta, proven by the fact that she was even Britta-ing being dead. Besides, for all they knew, the crisis could be over by Monday. They’d need entertainment until then.
“I think it’s sweet.” Annie replied.
“You won’t think that when we run out of tofu and she decides that being vegan isn’t worth starving.”
“Don’t be absurd, Abed. She wouldn’t eat us.”
“Jeff’s right. Succumb to her basest instincts and turn us into spawns of the devil, maybe, but Britta’s far too principled to actually eat our brains.” Shirley nodded in agreement. Troy was crouched down near Britta but turned around to comfort his friend.
“Look on the bright side, buddy. Now we won’t have to eat any of Annie’s weird tofu. I mean...my bad.” Jeff sighed, he didn’t even try to cover that one up. It was going to be a long weekend.
Annie glared at him.
“I hope you get eaten by that thing in the Dean’s office.”