Leave Yourself For Somebody Else (S/A)
Title: Leave Yourself For Somebody Else (S/A)
Author: Tuesdae/morrisseyislove
Rating: R/NC-17 depending on how hard of a rater you are.
Pairing: Ryden (Ryan/Brendon)
Summary: Ryan and Brendon's adventures with sex and rooming together.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. Title belongs to Phantom Planet.
Author's Note/Dedications: Alright, this was a little something I wrote because I was inspired and I miss Sarah (ryden_grr). If you didn't know, she came down to Las Vegas for a week, we went to the Honda Civic Tour concert (which was awesome!) and she left today, and I'm sad. I want to dedicate this to her, and all our beautiful mods at slashatthedisco, aisu_mouko, bleedlustxchoke, itsallhushhush, mandy_croyance, pluginxbaby, and sassymorg333. We've reached 5,000 members at Slash! At The Disco! Thank you guys, we wouldn't be so popular if it wasn't for you guys and thanks so much. I miss you Sarah, and Mom, Grandmere, and me have already been talking about me maybe coming up to visit you guys in Alaska next summer!
It starts with the guy I live with.
I’ve lived with him for about a year now; he’s pretty cool, I don’t know, would you consider him cool? His name’s Brendon, I know his last name, it’s on some papers I‘ve seen around, but we’re pretty much on a first name basis because I’m not quite sure if he knows mine.
We don’t really have much, one bedroom, one bathroom that kind of doubles as half a kitchen since the sink in the actual kitchen won’t work, and a living area. The “living room” is pretty much just a section of the kitchen/living room that has a couch and a 27-inch TV with a Super Nintendo hooked up to it.
I’m not really sure why I live with Brendon, but I do. He pays some of the rent.
We sleep in a queen-sized bed together, on sale and all we could fit in our room, and our neighbors think we’re gay. It’s a fun game to play, watch the eighty-year-old couples faces while we make out in front of our apartment.
They’re half-right, Brendon IS gay, and that’s how he ended up living with me. Friend of a friend told me he was kicked out for coming out and I needed someone to pay for some of the crap in the apartment. I’m somewhat ambiguous.
Brendon is obsessed with my sexuality. He tries sending me girl friends of his, guy friends of his. I’ve done it with a couple of them, the more attractive of the bunch, but for me, orgasming is just so weird. It’s a weird feeling. It’s okay, but weird.
It leads us to now, another boy on my doorstep, Brendon showing him in, and I notice him checking out his ass while this nervous looking boy walks in.
He’s probably just barely legal, maybe even not, he’s probably still in high school, curious boy, stupid boy. Brendon takes boys like him, chews them up and spits them out.
It’s funny, the one thing I’m not really into, Brendon is obsessed with. Brendon loves sex. Sometimes, he’ll invite me to watch or something, and sometimes, when I do have sex with one of the friends he brings over for me, he’ll ask if he can watch. He only wants to watch with the guys.
The way he grabs the boy from behind, it makes him shutter. I see this all from the couch, one of the rare times I choose to watch. Sometimes it’s interesting to watch Brendon fuck. Sometimes, it does things to me, and it’s weird, because I don’t really care for sex, but watching Brendon have sex is, well, sexy.
He whispers things in the boy’s ear, and it’s obvious that just listening to Brendon is making the boy excited. Brendon leads the boy into the bedroom, and tells me to follow.
The thing about watching Brendon have sex is he’ll always keep his eyes on me the entire time. It’s weird, and kind of arousing.
Brendon’s fucking this boy, and the boy looks pretty into it, but nervous. He keeps looking at me, because the way Brendon’s positioned them, doggy-style, facing me, the boy can only look at me or the mattress. He looks kind of awkward, uncomfortable, and I don’t think it was because Brendon was fucking him, because he seemed to like that quite a bit, with all his moaning. Nevertheless, he looked shy, embarrassed to be watched by a stranger while a stranger fucks him.
This boy, this shy, curious, high school boy, he reminds me of me. I guess it’s the look in his eyes. He looks the same way I feel whenever I have sex. So I crawl over to him. I don’t know why, but I kiss him. On the mouth. It’s meant to comfort him, but the boy likes it, he keeps doing it, he’s grabbing me, and he’s keeping me there while Brendon fucks him, and Brendon likes it a whole lot.
While Brendon absolutely loves sex, he’s also a voyeur. He’ll take what he can get, and he loved the hand he was just dealt.
The way it ends up, Brendon’s fucking this kid while he sucks my dick. The kid, not Brendon.
Afterwards, Brendon’s smoking a cigarette that he’ll pass over to me while we watch this kid dress. He’s much more comfortable now, he’ll smirk at me, and wink and Brendon would laugh.
“You know,” Brendon says, “technically, now we’ve had sex.”
“Hardly,” I scoff.
He sends me a look before reaching over me to flick some ashes into the ashtray on the table squeezed between the mattress and the wall.
“Whatever man.”
The boy, before he left, he gave us both a kiss, and groped my crotch. This sends Brendon into such a giggle-fit.
“He loooves you, RyHo,” he laughed-slash-said.
“He’s just a kid, he doesn’t know what he wants,” I said, taking another drag of the cigarette.
Brendon smirked, then put his lips on the side of my neck and whispered, “Oh, I think he does. I think he knows exactly what he wants.”
He took the cigarette out of my hand and squashed it out into the ashtray before climbing on top of me and kissing all over my neck and face.
“What are you doing?”
I could feel him smiling against my lips before pressing a little peck on them.
“Well, since we’ve already technically fucked, I thought we’d do it for real. You know, your dick…”
To emphasize that, he put a little pressure on my groin, then grabbed my hand.
“My ass…”
He put my hand on his ass, holding it there.
“What do you say?”
I bit my lip, and I sure as hell know I wanted to.
Brendon’s always been… intriguing to me. Sexually, what have you, but he’s interesting. He liked being weird, he liked being the center of attention. No press is bad press, any press is good press. I’ve never been one for attention, so I guess I basically found my opposite. And now I have him… and… I don’t know.
“Don’t.”
He was confused. I guess he’s never really been rejected before, I mean, I know he’s the baby of the family, so I bet that even as a kid he got away with a lot.
“I don’t understand.”
“I… I want this, but… I don’t think I can.”
He smiled a bit, but he still looked nervous.
“Hey, man, if you need to work it up a bit, I can wait, it’s alright.”
“That’s not it.”
He was still confused.
“I think… I want to like you.”
His face was now… confusing. I pushed him off of me, lightly, softly, trying my hardest to not hurt him or make him think I hate him or anything. I got up, getting my clothes and getting dressed. He didn’t stop me.
I decided a walk would be the best thing. To help clear my head. It would let me get away from Brendon and we could both get time to think. What did we really want here?
Him. I wanted him. But… I don’t know if I wanted to have sex with him.
So that leads us to later. When I go back. When we do have sex. It’s good, weird, but good. I kind of like it.
And then it happens again. We have sex again, and it’s still good, I still like it. And I assume he likes it, because we’ll keep doing it. Having sex, sometimes with someone else there, sometimes not. But that’s as far as well get for now, because that’s as far as I know we’ll get for the time being, because later is now. It’s confusing, everything is right now, but I’m okay for now.
I like him. And I really think he likes me. Because he says he does. I hope he means it.
Author: Tuesdae/morrisseyislove
Rating: R/NC-17 depending on how hard of a rater you are.
Pairing: Ryden (Ryan/Brendon)
Summary: Ryan and Brendon's adventures with sex and rooming together.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. Title belongs to Phantom Planet.
Author's Note/Dedications: Alright, this was a little something I wrote because I was inspired and I miss Sarah (ryden_grr). If you didn't know, she came down to Las Vegas for a week, we went to the Honda Civic Tour concert (which was awesome!) and she left today, and I'm sad. I want to dedicate this to her, and all our beautiful mods at slashatthedisco, aisu_mouko, bleedlustxchoke, itsallhushhush, mandy_croyance, pluginxbaby, and sassymorg333. We've reached 5,000 members at Slash! At The Disco! Thank you guys, we wouldn't be so popular if it wasn't for you guys and thanks so much. I miss you Sarah, and Mom, Grandmere, and me have already been talking about me maybe coming up to visit you guys in Alaska next summer!
It starts with the guy I live with.
I’ve lived with him for about a year now; he’s pretty cool, I don’t know, would you consider him cool? His name’s Brendon, I know his last name, it’s on some papers I‘ve seen around, but we’re pretty much on a first name basis because I’m not quite sure if he knows mine.
We don’t really have much, one bedroom, one bathroom that kind of doubles as half a kitchen since the sink in the actual kitchen won’t work, and a living area. The “living room” is pretty much just a section of the kitchen/living room that has a couch and a 27-inch TV with a Super Nintendo hooked up to it.
I’m not really sure why I live with Brendon, but I do. He pays some of the rent.
We sleep in a queen-sized bed together, on sale and all we could fit in our room, and our neighbors think we’re gay. It’s a fun game to play, watch the eighty-year-old couples faces while we make out in front of our apartment.
They’re half-right, Brendon IS gay, and that’s how he ended up living with me. Friend of a friend told me he was kicked out for coming out and I needed someone to pay for some of the crap in the apartment. I’m somewhat ambiguous.
Brendon is obsessed with my sexuality. He tries sending me girl friends of his, guy friends of his. I’ve done it with a couple of them, the more attractive of the bunch, but for me, orgasming is just so weird. It’s a weird feeling. It’s okay, but weird.
It leads us to now, another boy on my doorstep, Brendon showing him in, and I notice him checking out his ass while this nervous looking boy walks in.
He’s probably just barely legal, maybe even not, he’s probably still in high school, curious boy, stupid boy. Brendon takes boys like him, chews them up and spits them out.
It’s funny, the one thing I’m not really into, Brendon is obsessed with. Brendon loves sex. Sometimes, he’ll invite me to watch or something, and sometimes, when I do have sex with one of the friends he brings over for me, he’ll ask if he can watch. He only wants to watch with the guys.
The way he grabs the boy from behind, it makes him shutter. I see this all from the couch, one of the rare times I choose to watch. Sometimes it’s interesting to watch Brendon fuck. Sometimes, it does things to me, and it’s weird, because I don’t really care for sex, but watching Brendon have sex is, well, sexy.
He whispers things in the boy’s ear, and it’s obvious that just listening to Brendon is making the boy excited. Brendon leads the boy into the bedroom, and tells me to follow.
The thing about watching Brendon have sex is he’ll always keep his eyes on me the entire time. It’s weird, and kind of arousing.
Brendon’s fucking this boy, and the boy looks pretty into it, but nervous. He keeps looking at me, because the way Brendon’s positioned them, doggy-style, facing me, the boy can only look at me or the mattress. He looks kind of awkward, uncomfortable, and I don’t think it was because Brendon was fucking him, because he seemed to like that quite a bit, with all his moaning. Nevertheless, he looked shy, embarrassed to be watched by a stranger while a stranger fucks him.
This boy, this shy, curious, high school boy, he reminds me of me. I guess it’s the look in his eyes. He looks the same way I feel whenever I have sex. So I crawl over to him. I don’t know why, but I kiss him. On the mouth. It’s meant to comfort him, but the boy likes it, he keeps doing it, he’s grabbing me, and he’s keeping me there while Brendon fucks him, and Brendon likes it a whole lot.
While Brendon absolutely loves sex, he’s also a voyeur. He’ll take what he can get, and he loved the hand he was just dealt.
The way it ends up, Brendon’s fucking this kid while he sucks my dick. The kid, not Brendon.
Afterwards, Brendon’s smoking a cigarette that he’ll pass over to me while we watch this kid dress. He’s much more comfortable now, he’ll smirk at me, and wink and Brendon would laugh.
“You know,” Brendon says, “technically, now we’ve had sex.”
“Hardly,” I scoff.
He sends me a look before reaching over me to flick some ashes into the ashtray on the table squeezed between the mattress and the wall.
“Whatever man.”
The boy, before he left, he gave us both a kiss, and groped my crotch. This sends Brendon into such a giggle-fit.
“He loooves you, RyHo,” he laughed-slash-said.
“He’s just a kid, he doesn’t know what he wants,” I said, taking another drag of the cigarette.
Brendon smirked, then put his lips on the side of my neck and whispered, “Oh, I think he does. I think he knows exactly what he wants.”
He took the cigarette out of my hand and squashed it out into the ashtray before climbing on top of me and kissing all over my neck and face.
“What are you doing?”
I could feel him smiling against my lips before pressing a little peck on them.
“Well, since we’ve already technically fucked, I thought we’d do it for real. You know, your dick…”
To emphasize that, he put a little pressure on my groin, then grabbed my hand.
“My ass…”
He put my hand on his ass, holding it there.
“What do you say?”
I bit my lip, and I sure as hell know I wanted to.
Brendon’s always been… intriguing to me. Sexually, what have you, but he’s interesting. He liked being weird, he liked being the center of attention. No press is bad press, any press is good press. I’ve never been one for attention, so I guess I basically found my opposite. And now I have him… and… I don’t know.
“Don’t.”
He was confused. I guess he’s never really been rejected before, I mean, I know he’s the baby of the family, so I bet that even as a kid he got away with a lot.
“I don’t understand.”
“I… I want this, but… I don’t think I can.”
He smiled a bit, but he still looked nervous.
“Hey, man, if you need to work it up a bit, I can wait, it’s alright.”
“That’s not it.”
He was still confused.
“I think… I want to like you.”
His face was now… confusing. I pushed him off of me, lightly, softly, trying my hardest to not hurt him or make him think I hate him or anything. I got up, getting my clothes and getting dressed. He didn’t stop me.
I decided a walk would be the best thing. To help clear my head. It would let me get away from Brendon and we could both get time to think. What did we really want here?
Him. I wanted him. But… I don’t know if I wanted to have sex with him.
So that leads us to later. When I go back. When we do have sex. It’s good, weird, but good. I kind of like it.
And then it happens again. We have sex again, and it’s still good, I still like it. And I assume he likes it, because we’ll keep doing it. Having sex, sometimes with someone else there, sometimes not. But that’s as far as well get for now, because that’s as far as I know we’ll get for the time being, because later is now. It’s confusing, everything is right now, but I’m okay for now.
I like him. And I really think he likes me. Because he says he does. I hope he means it.