(no subject)
God, life is just SO different here.... I spend my days wandering around the streets of cat ba, attempting to speak broken vietnamese with food vendors, bank tellers, kayak rental places and lots of vietnamese men who are incredibly intrigued by the fact that I can only really speak english. "but you look a-shian" they all say. I try to explain that my father is chinese and my mother is irish, but it never really seems to click.
For the past week or so, I haven't been on the boat, I've been doing office work and trying to hire people. It's a lot of work and its incredibly draining to sit in an office and respond to emails, send out emails and more or less live in a half digital, half real life customer service world.... Who would have thought that doing something like that would be tiring? Not me...
It's nice to escape that and sit in my bay front hotel room (or rather, Sinan's) and stare out at the 50 or so basket and junk boats that stay in the bay all day.
It's a grey day and this is not a great picture, but every morning I wake up to that outside....
The weather is getting colder. Today I'm going to Hanoi to buy some winter clothing, some first aid supplies and a few other things. I'll be staying with my mom's friend who is a massage therapist. We've been chatting back and forth about shopping and christmas cookies with her kids. I almost forgot that christmas is almost here. Holidays just kind of disappear here in Vietnam and I don't really mind it.
I've never really loved holidays other than christmas and halloween. Thanksgiving has always just brought about food that I find too heavy, and a family I chose not to really attach myself to (as sad and anti-social as that is... its true.) The commercialism of christmas was definitely in full force last year, when I was working at the mall, and this year, Vietnam is blissfully free of all of that. I'm sure you can get some of it in Hanoi, but I'm not there yet.
My co workers are all going to Lien Minh to celebrate Sinan and Lee's birthdays. I'm kind of sad that I won't be there. Mr. Zoom and Oanh will all be there with their spouses. Mr. Zoom (Dung) promised to cook us two chickens and Oanh, lovingly referred to as the Noble House Pimp since she owns two restaurants, a hotel and a bar that we work in between, will also bring food.
What to get for Sinan's birthday.... I feel like I've just sort of fallen into this life here and I don't have a rhyme or reason for it. I can easily see why people choose to have open relationships when it is just so easy to fall into this type of situation when you're traveling. People who travel are sometimes so willing to give their love to someone for little reason other than brief glimpses of a connection within that person. Not only in a sexual relationship, but in seeking friendship. It's a beautiful thing sometimes.
It feels good to be around him. He's affectionate and warm, where Garrett and Blair never were. It feels strange for someone who I've only known for a short time, still sees good in me without really knowing my past self. Maybe I'm just too cynical sometimes... I won't fall in love with him, that I know, but this is comforting and that is that. We've seen each other in one way or another and accepted. It feels good.
Garrett feels jealous. I know I'm not respecting his wishes in staying in this room with Sinan, but I don't really have a choice right now. I'm going to talk to Slo soon, in order to figure out a more desirable living situation. I have one more month of living here before Thailand.
Speaking of thailand. If i stay until July, I'll be able to travel with garrett's family. I hope I'll be able to stay mentally healthy enough for that.
I'm currently looking into writing an email to our boss in order to stay longer and get more pay.
I have really nasty infected wounds on my legs..
Every day I go back and forth between loving it here and wanting to be somewhere else... home, with garrett, HCMC (mostly the last two.) It's honestly a rollercoaster of emotion almost every day.
Things I want to do:
- learn to ride a motorbike (i can do that here)
- travel down the coast of vietnam
- travel with garrett's family
- be warm
- be healthy
laaahhhhhhh
i feel weird committing to June....
For the past week or so, I haven't been on the boat, I've been doing office work and trying to hire people. It's a lot of work and its incredibly draining to sit in an office and respond to emails, send out emails and more or less live in a half digital, half real life customer service world.... Who would have thought that doing something like that would be tiring? Not me...
It's nice to escape that and sit in my bay front hotel room (or rather, Sinan's) and stare out at the 50 or so basket and junk boats that stay in the bay all day.
It's a grey day and this is not a great picture, but every morning I wake up to that outside....
The weather is getting colder. Today I'm going to Hanoi to buy some winter clothing, some first aid supplies and a few other things. I'll be staying with my mom's friend who is a massage therapist. We've been chatting back and forth about shopping and christmas cookies with her kids. I almost forgot that christmas is almost here. Holidays just kind of disappear here in Vietnam and I don't really mind it.
I've never really loved holidays other than christmas and halloween. Thanksgiving has always just brought about food that I find too heavy, and a family I chose not to really attach myself to (as sad and anti-social as that is... its true.) The commercialism of christmas was definitely in full force last year, when I was working at the mall, and this year, Vietnam is blissfully free of all of that. I'm sure you can get some of it in Hanoi, but I'm not there yet.
My co workers are all going to Lien Minh to celebrate Sinan and Lee's birthdays. I'm kind of sad that I won't be there. Mr. Zoom and Oanh will all be there with their spouses. Mr. Zoom (Dung) promised to cook us two chickens and Oanh, lovingly referred to as the Noble House Pimp since she owns two restaurants, a hotel and a bar that we work in between, will also bring food.
What to get for Sinan's birthday.... I feel like I've just sort of fallen into this life here and I don't have a rhyme or reason for it. I can easily see why people choose to have open relationships when it is just so easy to fall into this type of situation when you're traveling. People who travel are sometimes so willing to give their love to someone for little reason other than brief glimpses of a connection within that person. Not only in a sexual relationship, but in seeking friendship. It's a beautiful thing sometimes.
It feels good to be around him. He's affectionate and warm, where Garrett and Blair never were. It feels strange for someone who I've only known for a short time, still sees good in me without really knowing my past self. Maybe I'm just too cynical sometimes... I won't fall in love with him, that I know, but this is comforting and that is that. We've seen each other in one way or another and accepted. It feels good.
Garrett feels jealous. I know I'm not respecting his wishes in staying in this room with Sinan, but I don't really have a choice right now. I'm going to talk to Slo soon, in order to figure out a more desirable living situation. I have one more month of living here before Thailand.
Speaking of thailand. If i stay until July, I'll be able to travel with garrett's family. I hope I'll be able to stay mentally healthy enough for that.
I'm currently looking into writing an email to our boss in order to stay longer and get more pay.
I have really nasty infected wounds on my legs..
Every day I go back and forth between loving it here and wanting to be somewhere else... home, with garrett, HCMC (mostly the last two.) It's honestly a rollercoaster of emotion almost every day.
Things I want to do:
- learn to ride a motorbike (i can do that here)
- travel down the coast of vietnam
- travel with garrett's family
- be warm
- be healthy
laaahhhhhhh
i feel weird committing to June....