Surgery
I had the oral surgery. Finally, after months of putting it off because no time was convenient to be out of commission for a few days. Life was tangled up in the way. Good life: finishing finals, camping, graduation, Shavuot, work, the ongoing projects of wedding and living situation, but still, no time to be getting surgery.
I planned to tell as few people as possible. Ari, because he had to drive me there and back, my boss, because I had to take time off. I had the surgery on Tuesday and went back to work today, and it just spilled out. I couldn't keep it a secret. When it didn't hurt too much to talk, I told everyone.
Except my mother. Except my family. I haven't told them yet.
This seemed like a good idea at the time, only now I can't remember why. My mom was already chauffeuring my grandmother to her various surgeries. I didn't want her having to deal with me also. I didn't want her to drive out here and take care of me, not because I'm self-less, but because I didn't want her coming to my apartment and seeing how hopeless it was, how hopeless I am at keeping up with maintenance, how poorly suited I am for adulthood and marriage. I thought the grown-up thing to do was to take care of my surgery myself, the way I should be doing my taxes, my investing, finding a real estate agent, every single thing I have to do now that gets pawned off on them because I don't know how to do it.
Now I have the strongest urge to tell her. The whole family really, but mostly her. Only it's 11 PM. We're spending the weekend in DC for Valerie's trapeze show. It's going to be an interesting weekend.
I'm okay. Still in quite a bit of pain, but okay.
I planned to tell as few people as possible. Ari, because he had to drive me there and back, my boss, because I had to take time off. I had the surgery on Tuesday and went back to work today, and it just spilled out. I couldn't keep it a secret. When it didn't hurt too much to talk, I told everyone.
Except my mother. Except my family. I haven't told them yet.
This seemed like a good idea at the time, only now I can't remember why. My mom was already chauffeuring my grandmother to her various surgeries. I didn't want her having to deal with me also. I didn't want her to drive out here and take care of me, not because I'm self-less, but because I didn't want her coming to my apartment and seeing how hopeless it was, how hopeless I am at keeping up with maintenance, how poorly suited I am for adulthood and marriage. I thought the grown-up thing to do was to take care of my surgery myself, the way I should be doing my taxes, my investing, finding a real estate agent, every single thing I have to do now that gets pawned off on them because I don't know how to do it.
Now I have the strongest urge to tell her. The whole family really, but mostly her. Only it's 11 PM. We're spending the weekend in DC for Valerie's trapeze show. It's going to be an interesting weekend.
I'm okay. Still in quite a bit of pain, but okay.