(no subject)
shelby and liz just called and they are in florida...shelby said she called me too but no one was home...stupid fucking softball...i could have gone to florida twice and my parents are just like "oh well. softball this...softball that". how many fucking times to they think im gonna go to florida with some of my best friends? i know im going with rayray and them and it will be awesome...but i want to go with shelby and liz cuz they mean a lot to me too...i was suppose to see harry potter with trey but he went without me cuz i wasnt home...im tierd of softball...i dont feel like i have had a fun summer in forever and im losing all my friends...i dont feel like i have a best friend at all...shelby was my best friend but now her and liz are and i love both of them but i dont get to hang with them as much...meredith was my best friend but stuff in our life has changed that and now i feel like we dont talk or know each other as well...rayray and emily were but now we dont see as other as much...sometimes i just wish i could start over with new friends so i didnt feel so sad about losing friends or wanting to hang out with other people and not getting too... i wish me and shelby were like we were at the start of sophmore year...we did stuff with each other every weekend and we were getting to know each other better and shit...but then softball...but im glad liz is in my life dont get me wrong about that...maybe id be better off if i was alone...i have these two sets of awesome friends and i dont know what to do because it feels like trying to hang out with both just makes me not have a best friend and feel isolated from them but i dont want to lose my friends or have them think i dont like them or something but i want to have a best friend who i can talk to and tell them everything and feel like i "belong" again...and i guess i feel like that with some people but im scared...scare dof what will happen to the other people i care about and what they will think of me...i dont know i cant wait till destin tho cause sometimes i think that im really about to lose some friends and i hate it...we are drifting