The Tenth Apland: Keepers of the Cinder-Rose Chapter Nine
Wow, it has been a very long time since I last did anything with the Aplands. For that I appologize. It's not that I have given up… I just have been so damn busy I haven't even had time to think about it. A new semester has started and I thought that having all my classes on MWF would be great… but that means that I'm to pooped out in the evening after all my classes to do homework, which means that TTH is spent doing homework pretty much all day, especially since I waste the first half of the day just being lazy and not getting out of bed. That still hasn't changed.. but I don't have near as much homework to do today, so I thought I'd give it a go. Without further a do… I give you the Aplands
Oh wait.. What happened last time? I don't even remember, so go back and re-read if you need to. All I remember is that Noel and Cruz celebrated their birthdays. Now their regular, old adults..
Warning: This update contains more language than usual...
The morning after her birthday, Noel awoke and grabbed her usual slice of left over birthday cake.
Noel: "Man, now that I'm old, I need to be watching what I eat… I don't want to blow up like a balloon."
Aww, don't worry Noel, TS3 is super unrealistic. As long as you don't eat a whole cake by yourself at one sitting, you won't gain a pound.
But Noel decided to hit the gym anyways. She wanted to play it safe.
Noel: "This is so much harder than I remember it… god, I must be getting old!"
Morgan, the lucky duck that doesn't have to worry about aging, spends her mornings out tending her garden. It's really starting to come along.
Is it sad that it took me a moment to remember who this child was… ? I think that is like an all-time-low for me. But this is Bernadette just in case you were wondering or forgot too…
Bernadette: "Check out my awesome new periscope! It's even better than goggles!"
Bernadette: "You can't do this with a pair of goggles."
Bernadette: "Now get out of here, you creeper! Stop watching me while I take my bath!"
Oh goodie, another robber. You would think I would get a burglar alarm by now.
No! Not my newly decorated upstairs bathroom! Get out of here.
Sure, you can have the wreath. Just leave!
Burglar: "But I don't want some dumb wreath… I came here for the good stuff."
Burglar: "Besides, I heard you have a damn nice shower."
No! Anything but the shower!
Get up there and save the shower, Noel! You messed with the wrong family, Mr. Burglar!
Noel: "I'm just so old though, I don't know if I can get up there to catch him in time."
Get over yourself, Noel! You're like what? 40?! That's not even old! Now get your ass up there!
Noel: "Please return my shower."
Burglar: "And what if I say no?"
Noel: "You heard him, he said no. Can I go back to bed now?"
You're an f-ing cop, Noel! Kick that burglar's ass!
Burglar: "I'm bored now, can I leave already?"
Cop: "Oh hello, Noel. I didn't know this was your house."
Burglar: "Are you kidding me? This isn't how this is supposed to work!"
I agree! Let's get on with this!
Noel: "There, I kicked his ass. Now can I go back to bed?"
Burglar: "Well while you guys figure this out, I'm gonna make my run for it."
What?! This is definitely not how this is supposed to work! Give me my shower back!
So I'm sure you won't be surprised to find out that I invested in an alarm system. Damn burglars are gonna steal my shower. Not again, they won't!
Mistletoe: "I can haz a bite?"
Morgan: "Mistletoe, you damn cat, here you go. You little piggy."
Mistletoe: "What? I can't help myself."
Cruz's midlife crisis was starting to catch up with him, and he was starting to feel so bored and tied down in his marriage. He wanted something new, something exciting and he was willing to get it anywhere.
Cruz: "Hey, what's up Morgan?"
Morgan: "Damn, it gets so hot working out here in the sun all day long."
Cruz: "Speaking of hot, you're the only hot thing I see out here."
Morgan: "Thanks?"
Cruz: "No seriously, your body is like wonderland, and I want to be your 'Alice'."
Morgan: "Excuse me?! Cruz, what the hell are you doing? You have a goddamn wife! And she's kind of like my god-child… and you seriously just tried to flirt with me by using some lame pick up line?!"
Cruz: "Yeah.."
Morgan: "No, Cruz! Go get your head screwed on right and figure your shit out. If I ever catch you flirting with another woman besides Noel again, I am going to chop your balls off!"
But apparently Morgan's threat didn't make quite the impact that she had hoped.
Cruz: I would like see her try to chop by balls off…
Cruz: Excuse me… Damn, you're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line."
Kerrie: "Wow, that was actually a pretty good one."
Cruz: "So does that mean that I get to keep flirting with the pretty, young lady?"
Kerrie: "Just maybe.. We'll have to see."
Where was Noel?, you might ask. She was inside taking a nap, but it wasn't a restful sleep because she could sense something disturbing the peaceful atmosphere somewhere in the house.
Noel: "My spidey senses are tingling."
Noel: "Oh my god! I can't believe my eyes! I thought for sure Alden was up here messing with one of his sisters…"
Noel: "Cruz, I never took you to be a cheater! I can't believe what I'm seeing!"
Noel: "How can that little bitch flirt with my husband right in front of me?! Someone's not going to be getting a pay check!"
Noel: "No guys, don't worry about me. I'll just sit here in this chair, but you guys just carry on."
Noel wasn't the only one that could sense something going awry in the Apland household.
Bernadette: "Wow, what's going on in here?"
Capri: "Wait up for me, Berny!"
Bernadette: "Mom, what's going on?"
Noel: "Girls, you should probably leave--"
Cruz: "Yes, must we involve the whole family in this!?"
Noel: "You're the idiot choosing to cheat right in our house in front of your whole family."
Cruz: "Seriously Noel, can't we talk about this later, when we're not in front of our little girls?"
Noel: "Well… maybe your right…"
Caprice: "No, no carry on… this is the most action I've seen in days!"
Noel: "You know what, no! We're gonna do this now! Cruz, did you sleep with this woman?! Did you sleep with this woman in the same house that you sleep with your wife in?!"
Cruz: "What? No!"
Bernadette: What's so wrong with sleeping? I sleep all the time. Even Mistletoe sleeps.
We're talking about another type of sleeping, Berney, but don't worry about it.
Cruz: "Besides, Noel we haven't had sex since France… and a man has needs!"
Noel: "Really? A man. Has. Needs? You have needs? What about my needs!"
Cruz: "You know what, we're done here. Come on Kerrie, let's go find somewhere more private to carry on."
Noel: "Seriously, Cruz?! Fine you and that goddamn homewrecker go have all the sex you want. But don't expect to EVER get any from me again!"
Downstairs, Morgan could take a pretty good guess on what all the yelling was from upstairs, and thought that she could be of some use keeping Alden distracted. He would take just too much pleasure in seeing his family suffer and fall apart.
Morgan: "And so the prince and princess lived happily ever after…"
Alden: "That's a great story and all, but that's never how it is in real life."
Morgan: "What do you mean?"
Alden: "I mean that most couples never stay happy for "ever after"."
Morgan: "Alden, that is not true. There are lots of people who love each other and never stop."
Alden: "You're just saying that to make me feel better about my parents."
Morgan: "What?! What are you talking about? Your parents are a perfect example of a couple living happily ever after!"
Alden: "Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think I'm oblivious?!"
Obviously her plan didn't work out quite as well as she had hoped.
So Cruz and Kerrie went down to the local bar and enjoyed a date away from all the home-wrecking-drama.
Kerrie: I sure do hope that this doesn't get me fired…
Somehow I just don't think that Noel will feel comfortable with you cleaning around the house.
Across the street, while Cruz was with another woman, Noel was blowing off some steam at the gym.
Noel: "Yeah right! I am working on getting the sexiest body ever to make that jackass jealous."
Ooh damn, that is sexy!
Meanwhile, back at home, the kids were trying to forget that their parents were fighting. Alden retreated to his tree house where he persisted to try and enlist the help of some aliens to steal all the candy in the world.
Alden: "I don't get it. Apparently candy doesn't interest aliens… who knew?"
Bernadette found solace in painting.
And Capri… well whatever she did was apparently too boring to take pictures of.
Much later that night, once everyone else was in bed, Cruz quietly tried to sneak in, but Mistletoe found him and expressed her displeasure with him.
Cruz: "What is this? Even the cat is blaming me for all this?!"
It is kind of your fault, Cruz. Big time.
The next morning, Morgan decided to try and avoid the inevitable awkwardness and drama and went on a scavenger hunt for seeds instead. On her journey she also ran into some pretty little butterflies.
Morgan: "Hey there, little guy. Aren't you sweet."
Aww look at the birdies flying overhead, too!
Caprice: "So what do you thing? Do you think Mom and Dad are gonna be alright and stay together?"
Alden: "Nah. I think we're gonna have a new mommy."
Caprice: "Speaking of the devil…. What is she doing back here?"
Alden: "I knew dad wouldn't have the smarts to fire her. I told you we would have a new mother."
Caprice: "But Den, I don't want a new mother. I want our old one!"
Alden: "How does it feel to want, Capri! Think of it this way… this will mean that we'll get TWO Christmases! It will be legendary!"
Alden: "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to get back to plotting my master evil plan. Mom and Dad's fighting serves as the perfect distraction. Try and find me out now, Mom!"
Now I just want you to notice Mistletoe and Gingerbread back behind them…
Just tell me that isn't the cutest pair of behinds you've ever seen!
Gingerbread: "What if theyz split up. They might splitz uz up too!"
Mistletoe: "Don't worry it about it, we'll be fine."
Noel decided she wanted to avoid more conflict with her husband, plus work on that hot bod to make him jealous. So she headed to the gym first thing after she woke up. But she didn't get too far on the workout before she decided to vent to some random at the gym.
Noel: "You know… men really suck. When everything seems to be going right, they have to go and screw it all up!"
Fugly: "Amen sister!"
Li: "What did he do to you, girl?
Noel: "Well, that ass that I call my husband has been cheating on me! And when I caught him flirting with our maid, he put the blame on me! Can you believe it!?"
Li: "Ugh. Men disgust me."
Li: "In fact, it's not even fair to call them men. They are still a bunch of little boys."
Noel: "Little boys with only enough brain power to use their dick."
Li: "And there's the truth!"
Fugly: I want in on this bashing of the opposite sex…
Noel: "You know, you're pretty cool. I like you… silly me, what's your name?"
Li: "Li Lu."
Noel: "Is that your first name… or?"
Li: "No, my first name is Li. Last is Lu."
Noel: "I'm Noel Apland, I'm so glad to meet another woman that can relate to my issues!"
And Noel and Li quickly became best friends.
Back at the home lot, Cruz was putting the moves on his lady friend and employee, Kerrie, while his wife was away… like that really mattered.
Cruz: "Whatya say you make me the luckiest guy, and let me take you out on a real date?"
Kerrie: "I'd love that! … But I'll still get paid for the day, right?"
Oh the benefits of dating your employer.
Cruz: "Some lovely flowers, for the lovely lady."
Kerrie: "Oh my gosh!"
Well there's the reason he wants her. Look at that big ass mouth of hers.
Suspicions confirmed… he just wants in your pants Kerrie.
Kerrie: "Oh Cruz, you are such a great guy!"
Yeah other than the fact he's cheating on his wife, the mother of his three children. Great. Guy.
Cruz: "I haven't felt like this since high school. Your giving me butterflies in my stomach."
Yeah maybe you haven't felt like this since high school because… you've been with Noel since then!! And you're ruining it now?!
Cruz: "You make my heart go, pitter-patter."
Someone get me a trash can. I think I'm going to hurl.
Seriously. Blarghhhh!Blechh!
Cruz and Kerrie tried to get it on in multiple places, but they just weren't having any luck. They went on a boring tour of City Hall and for some reason the option wasn't available there. Then they went to the gym, but because they had separate bathrooms, Cruz couldn't join her in the shower. So needless to say, Cruz didn't get any that night.
Cruz: "It's not f*c*ing fair! I mean what about the lesbians?! They get to have f*c*ing hot sex in the shower whenever they want just because they share the same bathroom?!"
Cruz came home after being denied woohoo with Kerrie and had the nerve to climb into bed with Noel.
Surprisingly Noel not only let him, but she also let him cuddle and spoon her. Maybe the damage done to their marriage isn't so bad. Maybe after the whole midlife crisis is over and done with, they can get back to the happy couple they used to be. Just maybe…
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And that's that for this chapter! Crazy shit happened, I know! And there is actually more too, but just so much happened I couldn't cover it all in one chapter. So you can expect more midlife crisis drama next chapter too! Oh goody. But hey a drama free legacy is a boring legacy. Remember that. Also I just want to put a little disclaimer out there that this was all Cruz's wishing and rolling of wants. I didn't do anything that he didn't want to do. And actually a lot of it was autonomous. So it really is okay to hate the guy. At least while he's being a D-bag.
So tune in next time to find out how Noel and Cruz resolve (or don't resolve) their differences. Also, I'm sure next update will have some birthdays. Surprisingly this one didn't contain even one single birthday.
Until next time:
Happy Simming :D