Historical Hysteria Day 7: Bruiser Brouhaha

[morganwolf]

My boss is on vacation, so I have time for a poll.  Yaaaaaay!  Check this action out:

Vladimir Putin


(Thanks, myonlydri !)

• President of Russia from 2000-2008
• Being constitutionally limited to two terms, he was then appointed Prime Minister by his successor, because he is JUST THAT AWESOME
• Holds a red-white belt in Judo

• Click to view

• Credited with re-establishing rule of law, and stabilizing politics and the economy in Russia.  PROBABLY WITH JUDO.
• Hugely popular in Russia
• Also criticized as being brutal, repressive, and facist
• Known to bring his black lab to staff meetings and meet-and-greets with world leaders.  D'AWWWWW.
• Environmentally friendly
• Saved several journalists from a mauling by tranquing a tiger.  A TIGER, MOTHERFUCKERS.
• Once told Western governments to keep their "snotty noses" out of Russia's biznass
• Two of his outspoken critics were murdered in 2006.  HMMMMMM.
• Has published two books: an autobiography, and a book about judo. Dang, this guy likes judo a lot.
• Speaks near-fluent German but did not speak English in public until 2003
• Same height as my little sister
• CHECK OUT THOSE GUNS
• Skilled equestrian OH MY GOD I LOVE HORSES BEST OF ALL THE ANIMALS

Abraham Lincoln

• President of the United States from 1861-1865
• Consistently ranked as one of the greatest U.S. presidents
• HOLY CRAP, LOOK AT THAT COMIC BOOK, SPIDEY AND CAP ARE SCARED SHITLESS OF HIS MIGHT
• Before becoming a legislator, he was a country lawyer:
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• God bless Futurama
• Abolished slavery in the U.S. and brought an end to the Civil War. THAT IS HUGE.
• I MEAN REALLY, REALLY HUGE
• Although I must note, abolishing slavery was second to keeping his nation united
• His mother was killed by poisoned milk, I TOLD YOU COWS WERE OUT TO GET US
• He was a totally cool dad
• His wife was institutionalized in her later years
• Suffered from clinical depression, I FEEL YA, BRO DAWG
• Wrestled in his youth and was a formidable opponent
• John Wilkes Booth was a total dick
• Colorblind. I mean, literally. Possibly also figuratively. But mostly literally.
• Tallest of all the presidents
• Had part of his jawbone broken off by a dentist
• Held a patent for a special buoy he designed. Did it have glass balls?
• Predicted his own death in a dream, that is ASTOUNDING

Poll Putin vs LincolnOkay, kids.  I've got bills to pay.  Happy voting!