Be positive! Go with it!
It’s really hard to be positive.
I know this sounds like a strange topic but I’ve met a few people (friends & family) in my sphere of social life that have helped me to discover that I seem to have a extra helping of positive.
This is sort of funny to me, to be honest, because I happen to be that 2% in the US population that has B negative blood flowing through my veins.
Be negative! And yet positive is my mental outlook. I’ve always described myself as an optimistic person. I can’t stay down for long. I want to believe in the good of all humanity. And I still believe we as a species will survive and continue to become more than we are and less of what is destructive.
Even in this day and age where so many uncertainties bombard us from all sides. Environmental issues, political issues, social issues both in terms of religion and societal taboos and acceptances. But those things aren’t what I’m going to address here. (Mostly because I believe those things will work themselves out with time, patience, and understanding that will inevitably come. Again, I’m a positive person…)
Most of my life centers around my immediate close family. My husband and my children. We have a pretty huge amount of uncertainty bombarding our little family currently. Some of which we’ve told a lot of people about and some of which we haven’t. These issues will work themselves out in time as well, but when they are right there in front of you they seem pretty big. Bigger than all the other pressures out there.
So I often wonder, how do I get out of bed every day to deal with it all? And of course, still stay positive?
My secret is to take it one day at a time, until that’s not hard to do. And then if it is again hard the next hour or day after that, just go back to one day at a time.. or one hour if need be… and work up from there. I acknowledge that not every day IS a positive one. Some days its just a lot of lack of uplifting muck that I don’t want to share. Some days I reach out, some days I don’t.
Some days one of the boys have a hard day more than me and I spend my extra time validating that its okay to have an off day. Mom always seems to make it better in one way or another. If its the baby, cuddles, if its the others I give cuddles too… but its much much different for each one of the boys who live close to me. *wink*
But the point is despite all this, despite the downs of life… tomorrow is another day. And my children need me, they look to me for support both emotionally, mentally and physically. They are blissfully unaware of what’s going on. (Or lack the knowledge of comparing what they don’t have.) Understandably so, and that’s why they are children. I want to give them a childhood, they deserve one. No matter the problems in our lives, for at least 14 years of their life, they get to live without the burden of responsibility or worry. Let me do that because I’m the adult, I have the emotional ability and maturity to intelligently manage the problems and pitfalls. I speak on their behalf, I am the one who carries all of the cost right now. (Within reason of course.. I’m not talking about them breaking laws here… or saving them from the consequences of their decisions.)
I want them to have a childhood.
Other than that… I really don’t know how I do it. I get up and be positive because its just a decision I’ve made. I’ve got plenty of reasons to be sad… plenty of reasons to cry and to sit at home and feel down… but then I’ve got these amazing children that wake up smiling and happy and how can I drag that down? I mean there are days where I have a sad face, but that’s my issue I don’t make it theirs. They smile and I smile back because they are happy and I don’t want that to not be their thing that day. Their smiles give me smiles. I try to look at it from their view that they ARE happy, why wouldn’t they have a reason to be? They have reasons to be happy. If I find a reason to not be happy it wasn’t because of them, it’s because I’m burdened with a situation they are mostly unaware of. That’s the burden of parenthood. I take that on so they can have a childhood and they can remember it being joyful.
I don’t know how much time I will have. I won’t be crazy silly and be super crazy mom to get everything in, but I’m going to take in the moments that I can while I can. They are only children for such a short time.
I could go on and on and on about all the reasons why. There are just as many valid ones for and against. Life has taught me that its up to you.
Find one and go with it.
I know this sounds like a strange topic but I’ve met a few people (friends & family) in my sphere of social life that have helped me to discover that I seem to have a extra helping of positive.
This is sort of funny to me, to be honest, because I happen to be that 2% in the US population that has B negative blood flowing through my veins.
Be negative! And yet positive is my mental outlook. I’ve always described myself as an optimistic person. I can’t stay down for long. I want to believe in the good of all humanity. And I still believe we as a species will survive and continue to become more than we are and less of what is destructive.
Even in this day and age where so many uncertainties bombard us from all sides. Environmental issues, political issues, social issues both in terms of religion and societal taboos and acceptances. But those things aren’t what I’m going to address here. (Mostly because I believe those things will work themselves out with time, patience, and understanding that will inevitably come. Again, I’m a positive person…)
Most of my life centers around my immediate close family. My husband and my children. We have a pretty huge amount of uncertainty bombarding our little family currently. Some of which we’ve told a lot of people about and some of which we haven’t. These issues will work themselves out in time as well, but when they are right there in front of you they seem pretty big. Bigger than all the other pressures out there.
So I often wonder, how do I get out of bed every day to deal with it all? And of course, still stay positive?
My secret is to take it one day at a time, until that’s not hard to do. And then if it is again hard the next hour or day after that, just go back to one day at a time.. or one hour if need be… and work up from there. I acknowledge that not every day IS a positive one. Some days its just a lot of lack of uplifting muck that I don’t want to share. Some days I reach out, some days I don’t.
Some days one of the boys have a hard day more than me and I spend my extra time validating that its okay to have an off day. Mom always seems to make it better in one way or another. If its the baby, cuddles, if its the others I give cuddles too… but its much much different for each one of the boys who live close to me. *wink*
But the point is despite all this, despite the downs of life… tomorrow is another day. And my children need me, they look to me for support both emotionally, mentally and physically. They are blissfully unaware of what’s going on. (Or lack the knowledge of comparing what they don’t have.) Understandably so, and that’s why they are children. I want to give them a childhood, they deserve one. No matter the problems in our lives, for at least 14 years of their life, they get to live without the burden of responsibility or worry. Let me do that because I’m the adult, I have the emotional ability and maturity to intelligently manage the problems and pitfalls. I speak on their behalf, I am the one who carries all of the cost right now. (Within reason of course.. I’m not talking about them breaking laws here… or saving them from the consequences of their decisions.)
I want them to have a childhood.
Other than that… I really don’t know how I do it. I get up and be positive because its just a decision I’ve made. I’ve got plenty of reasons to be sad… plenty of reasons to cry and to sit at home and feel down… but then I’ve got these amazing children that wake up smiling and happy and how can I drag that down? I mean there are days where I have a sad face, but that’s my issue I don’t make it theirs. They smile and I smile back because they are happy and I don’t want that to not be their thing that day. Their smiles give me smiles. I try to look at it from their view that they ARE happy, why wouldn’t they have a reason to be? They have reasons to be happy. If I find a reason to not be happy it wasn’t because of them, it’s because I’m burdened with a situation they are mostly unaware of. That’s the burden of parenthood. I take that on so they can have a childhood and they can remember it being joyful.
I don’t know how much time I will have. I won’t be crazy silly and be super crazy mom to get everything in, but I’m going to take in the moments that I can while I can. They are only children for such a short time.
I could go on and on and on about all the reasons why. There are just as many valid ones for and against. Life has taught me that its up to you.
Find one and go with it.