one
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CONTENT IS VERY EXPLICIT, AND IS A WORK OF PURE FICTION. DONT FREAK OUT THINKING THAT I ACTUALLY DID ANY OF THIS. THIS IS ALL PART OF MY STORY. THE CONTENT IS FUCKED UP, SO YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
i sit in an upstairs area where people general wait for their classes to start. a few seats down a plump white girl is talking on the phone about church. asking the other person if what someone did was a normal thing to do, about how can she stay at a church where no one supports the pastor, different levels of respect and social level's mistreatment. it all sounds like politics to me...abuse of authority? either way i wonder why large girls wear sandals, when their feet are just as fat as their face. that and just about how much i hate cell phones, as if it is such a public pleasure to hear about your 'bitches', or the things you cant stand (though this being hypocritical as i write this) they could at least talk softer instead of raising their voice so just about anyone within fifteen feet of them can hear everything. i wonder if she would roll down the stairs if i kicked. the fat bitch.
more chatty chatty fucking chatty women behind me in my political science introductory class, and i want to tell them to shut the hell up. though they are the same girls i find at a club that same night, where i take one to a corner and slit her throat. i plan to sit near them at the next class session to hear if they will talk about their fallen 'sister'. but they didnt show up, which helped contribute to the already shitty day i was having. the only amusement ive had is a trio of either bleached or natural blondes who all seem to of co-ordinated their outfits. two of them wearing black tops, and the one who seems to be the center of the trio (quite possibly the leader?) that is wearing a rather slutty blue spagetti strap shirt. i know id definately fuck the leader, or just have her suck me off and come on her face.
(no one knows who i really am. im not even sure as to who i am, exactly. but all i know is that i havent been this content with myself since i was a child. a rare moment of clarity?)
each of us hand the doorman our money, and go into jaunts. still soaked from the pouring rain tonight, im blasted with the cool air inside. i immediately seperate from the group i had arrived with to hit the restroom, where im waiting for a bathroom stall to open. once i finally get inside, i key a few bumps, not forgetting to flush the toilet to hide the sound of my sniffing. im feeling much calmer even though my heart starts racing. finding my group at a table close to the front, a smile spreads across my face, since a girl is currently stripping to marilyn manson's cover of tainted love. im still a bit shocked at how good of a table we have, front and center to the main stage. filthy girls exposing all of their bodies to complete strangers for money. all the while the men here are all dateless and probably have been for at least a month. its no wonder they cant get any women without money being a factor. while i know i could get one, id rather not have a relationship. there are many things i could do to satisfy my urges. ive thrown out the need for something meaningful, like a significant other. i see no point to it. i may not be happy, but then again happiness is only an illusion we create in our minds. we only truly feel when we are in pain, which is the only thing that lets you know that youre alive. all the while, emotional pain is on the same level as happiness, and just about as useful, pointless, constructive or damaging to your life. either way, its hard to avoid them until you rid yourself of love, hopes, dreams...basically anything that will only dissapoint you in the end. its better to live dead inside than to die just a little each day. this also happens when you take life too seriously. this is why i mock life itself by doing what i do. deny the soul, take lives and destroy or improve them. we all has humans want to play god, but just imagine how things would be if you could. would you honestly want to know what everyone thinks of you? if so, you would realize how you cannot trust anyone, and have a drastic decline in the number of people you call friends. we all think badly about everyone we know at least once in our lives. plus, life would be rather boring if you were able to make everything happen. sure its a fun idea, but given time, it would just get boring and you would wish for it all to go back to how it was before. if not, what would you do when all your goals and dreams are accomplished? there would be nothing left to do, nothing to strive for or work at. though living life without goals is kind of the same, yet at least you dont get the risk of failure and dissapointment. currently, society has constantly strived to get richer, thinner, more attractive, talented, popular, or successful. usually these are clumped together to construct the basic american citizen. but this is what keeps everyone going, the hope for something better, regardless of how hopeless they can feel. no matter how unique you can think you are, that idea is as false as your happiness or sadness. it is only what you create, due to the culture you live by. no one can live outside of culture, theres no escape and there is no revolt against it, no matter what youre on a side with its own title and position.
i notice that many of the haircuts in here are shaved bald (odd how it seems to match the crotches of the women here). i make sure my hair was not damaged in the rain, and take a sip of my drink. from the moment i had left my house, i knew that i looked good tonight, and i did not want to mess that up.
© morfiend 2005
(i will continue with this as time progresses and i have the time. as of now, hopefully you either enjoy this or have already grown to hate me. either way, im glad it pulled a reaction from you)
i sit in an upstairs area where people general wait for their classes to start. a few seats down a plump white girl is talking on the phone about church. asking the other person if what someone did was a normal thing to do, about how can she stay at a church where no one supports the pastor, different levels of respect and social level's mistreatment. it all sounds like politics to me...abuse of authority? either way i wonder why large girls wear sandals, when their feet are just as fat as their face. that and just about how much i hate cell phones, as if it is such a public pleasure to hear about your 'bitches', or the things you cant stand (though this being hypocritical as i write this) they could at least talk softer instead of raising their voice so just about anyone within fifteen feet of them can hear everything. i wonder if she would roll down the stairs if i kicked. the fat bitch.
more chatty chatty fucking chatty women behind me in my political science introductory class, and i want to tell them to shut the hell up. though they are the same girls i find at a club that same night, where i take one to a corner and slit her throat. i plan to sit near them at the next class session to hear if they will talk about their fallen 'sister'. but they didnt show up, which helped contribute to the already shitty day i was having. the only amusement ive had is a trio of either bleached or natural blondes who all seem to of co-ordinated their outfits. two of them wearing black tops, and the one who seems to be the center of the trio (quite possibly the leader?) that is wearing a rather slutty blue spagetti strap shirt. i know id definately fuck the leader, or just have her suck me off and come on her face.
(no one knows who i really am. im not even sure as to who i am, exactly. but all i know is that i havent been this content with myself since i was a child. a rare moment of clarity?)
each of us hand the doorman our money, and go into jaunts. still soaked from the pouring rain tonight, im blasted with the cool air inside. i immediately seperate from the group i had arrived with to hit the restroom, where im waiting for a bathroom stall to open. once i finally get inside, i key a few bumps, not forgetting to flush the toilet to hide the sound of my sniffing. im feeling much calmer even though my heart starts racing. finding my group at a table close to the front, a smile spreads across my face, since a girl is currently stripping to marilyn manson's cover of tainted love. im still a bit shocked at how good of a table we have, front and center to the main stage. filthy girls exposing all of their bodies to complete strangers for money. all the while the men here are all dateless and probably have been for at least a month. its no wonder they cant get any women without money being a factor. while i know i could get one, id rather not have a relationship. there are many things i could do to satisfy my urges. ive thrown out the need for something meaningful, like a significant other. i see no point to it. i may not be happy, but then again happiness is only an illusion we create in our minds. we only truly feel when we are in pain, which is the only thing that lets you know that youre alive. all the while, emotional pain is on the same level as happiness, and just about as useful, pointless, constructive or damaging to your life. either way, its hard to avoid them until you rid yourself of love, hopes, dreams...basically anything that will only dissapoint you in the end. its better to live dead inside than to die just a little each day. this also happens when you take life too seriously. this is why i mock life itself by doing what i do. deny the soul, take lives and destroy or improve them. we all has humans want to play god, but just imagine how things would be if you could. would you honestly want to know what everyone thinks of you? if so, you would realize how you cannot trust anyone, and have a drastic decline in the number of people you call friends. we all think badly about everyone we know at least once in our lives. plus, life would be rather boring if you were able to make everything happen. sure its a fun idea, but given time, it would just get boring and you would wish for it all to go back to how it was before. if not, what would you do when all your goals and dreams are accomplished? there would be nothing left to do, nothing to strive for or work at. though living life without goals is kind of the same, yet at least you dont get the risk of failure and dissapointment. currently, society has constantly strived to get richer, thinner, more attractive, talented, popular, or successful. usually these are clumped together to construct the basic american citizen. but this is what keeps everyone going, the hope for something better, regardless of how hopeless they can feel. no matter how unique you can think you are, that idea is as false as your happiness or sadness. it is only what you create, due to the culture you live by. no one can live outside of culture, theres no escape and there is no revolt against it, no matter what youre on a side with its own title and position.
i notice that many of the haircuts in here are shaved bald (odd how it seems to match the crotches of the women here). i make sure my hair was not damaged in the rain, and take a sip of my drink. from the moment i had left my house, i knew that i looked good tonight, and i did not want to mess that up.
© morfiend 2005
(i will continue with this as time progresses and i have the time. as of now, hopefully you either enjoy this or have already grown to hate me. either way, im glad it pulled a reaction from you)