It's Poison
From an art installation by Jenny Holzer:
A single relationship can
poison every minute of the day,waking or sleeping.
When this drags on, you have
to question the sanity or the
criminality of those involved.
___________
This weekend will be difficult, this week. We've already argued over the phone. I already feel nerouvs and tense. As usual the pressure, the obsessive questions repeated ad nauseum, the disdain, the judgments, the anger...I allow the same cycle to recur every time. Resistance results in incremental change that I can't force faster. I hate the words "I can't." I hate that I can't yet (can't can't can't) stop caring. Can't stop seeking approval for attempts at being what I hate. I hate this weakness.