am I weird?
Well, yes - I know I am - but am I weird in a bad way? Or, is it wrong of me to wish more people were like me in certain, key ways?
Example. I'm driving to work today, there's a merge from an overpass about a mile up, but there's nothing better to do than keep your eyes on the road, right? There's a big ugly hillbilly truck up ahead, but it's been cared for - you can tell how a person like that is most likely to drive. So I give it all of 1% more throttle, enough to be dead even with his front bumper when he realises he'll have to get over. He hits his blinker just as I go by, and the whole road traffic thing glides on effortlessly with no one having to jab at the controls.
I know from much experience, most people don't do that. Why? It's not difficult. Even if you can't make educated guesses about how people will react to everyday driving situations based on lane position and type of vehicle... But it seems so often people are surprised by what they see on the road - and they end up on the shoulder and stuff because of something that you knew was 80% likely to happen anyways.
Maybe some people are too dumb? I doubt it - I don't think it takes a lot of brains. It does take a certain.. awareness, I imagine. That's what gets me - is these unaware people. I hate to keep bringing up my roomate as an example, but I had so much respect for him growing up - he was one of the few people I knew who had a certain intelligence about him.
Let this be a lesson folks - don't live at home too long.
Anyways, he's plenty braining, but doesn't notice things. Grrrr... Is it really so bad? The crappy broken toilet we've got overflowed again, and instead of first throwing a towel at the edge of the bathroom to keep water from soaking the carpet, he goes downstairs to get a mop. Neat. So the hallway's soaked for like 8 feet from the door. All in the carpet and stuff. The world IS a place of cause and effect, you know?
Then, after taking all the clean towels out of the closet, using each one once and setting it aside (can't you ring those things out?).. well, anyways, eventually I make the suggestion of putting a space heater or a fan to blow dry out the stuff you couldn't mop up with towels... So the carpet is dry to the touch, but then he makes this big fiasco about having the fan on all night when I figure it's already done.
ah, whatever. Gosh I sound angry. I'm really not. Honest.
It's more the driving thing - it's more feeling alienated and alone for just doing what makes sense so often. God, all my life I've been teased (when younger) or had noses turned up at me (as I got older) because I have a clue. When we went paintballing, I did really well - sure I had my breaks of bad luck and good luck, but just paying attention to consequences of action does so much for you. I went with a big group, many of them quite experienced.... But I did far better, consistantly, than they did. And why? I'm no great athelete, that's for sure. I'm not faster and in all honesty I present a bigger target than some of my sub-150lb freinds.... I'd only taken a handfull of shots with the gun before getting out in "battle". And any skill I may have aiming riffles is totally irrelevent to the situation of stubby little inaccurate paint markers.
I feel like some sort of freak when I do well at stuff - and I know I shouldn't! It drives me crazy - I'm *always* holding back at stuff. Not making suggestions, taking the riskier choice in card games... anything I can do to even up the odds so all invovled can have a fun time. I'm no super genius. Ok, so I've got a reasonable iq that puts me up there, and yeah, the mensa pretest wasn't a big deal - but that's not saying much. Mensa is one of the easier smart-people clubs to get in to, you know. :-) but it's not an intelligence thing - I went to school with a lot of smart people, and they are the ones who bother me the most as they don't have the excuse that "I'm just not smart enough". Jesus - I remember a guy who was a fine theoritical guy... But spent hours argueing with me on the correct way to use a fricken screwdriver! no lie! This guy kept telling me it's not how it should work... And dropped screw after screw after screw. We were supposed to be building a computer, and I was supposed to be teaching him.... Well, I got 26 of 27 screws in before he made any progress on his one.
Am I really wrong in feeling there's something wrong with him?
jana is still up to her ruin-your-day once a day, and be great the rest of the time thing... Sometimes I think if it weren't for the excitment (anticipation??) of her healing going so quick now.... That I'd be out the door pretty quick.
Well - guess I gotta give her a break. It's not so much longer.
A freind of mine set me up with a link to one of those cool singles site. I don't think I like it quite as much as sparkmatch - which kicked ass - cause it's so public, you know? It's like being in a club, online. I like talking to people one on one, where they start being themselves.
But that's not my real concern - the weird thing is this thing about am I single? No. Am I looking? I'm really not sure. I think I'm looking not to buy, just to look, you know? Call it a scientific curiosity.
Well, speaking of science, I better get some work done around here. I'll chat with you all later. :-)
-Morbid Angel.
Example. I'm driving to work today, there's a merge from an overpass about a mile up, but there's nothing better to do than keep your eyes on the road, right? There's a big ugly hillbilly truck up ahead, but it's been cared for - you can tell how a person like that is most likely to drive. So I give it all of 1% more throttle, enough to be dead even with his front bumper when he realises he'll have to get over. He hits his blinker just as I go by, and the whole road traffic thing glides on effortlessly with no one having to jab at the controls.
I know from much experience, most people don't do that. Why? It's not difficult. Even if you can't make educated guesses about how people will react to everyday driving situations based on lane position and type of vehicle... But it seems so often people are surprised by what they see on the road - and they end up on the shoulder and stuff because of something that you knew was 80% likely to happen anyways.
Maybe some people are too dumb? I doubt it - I don't think it takes a lot of brains. It does take a certain.. awareness, I imagine. That's what gets me - is these unaware people. I hate to keep bringing up my roomate as an example, but I had so much respect for him growing up - he was one of the few people I knew who had a certain intelligence about him.
Let this be a lesson folks - don't live at home too long.
Anyways, he's plenty braining, but doesn't notice things. Grrrr... Is it really so bad? The crappy broken toilet we've got overflowed again, and instead of first throwing a towel at the edge of the bathroom to keep water from soaking the carpet, he goes downstairs to get a mop. Neat. So the hallway's soaked for like 8 feet from the door. All in the carpet and stuff. The world IS a place of cause and effect, you know?
Then, after taking all the clean towels out of the closet, using each one once and setting it aside (can't you ring those things out?).. well, anyways, eventually I make the suggestion of putting a space heater or a fan to blow dry out the stuff you couldn't mop up with towels... So the carpet is dry to the touch, but then he makes this big fiasco about having the fan on all night when I figure it's already done.
ah, whatever. Gosh I sound angry. I'm really not. Honest.
It's more the driving thing - it's more feeling alienated and alone for just doing what makes sense so often. God, all my life I've been teased (when younger) or had noses turned up at me (as I got older) because I have a clue. When we went paintballing, I did really well - sure I had my breaks of bad luck and good luck, but just paying attention to consequences of action does so much for you. I went with a big group, many of them quite experienced.... But I did far better, consistantly, than they did. And why? I'm no great athelete, that's for sure. I'm not faster and in all honesty I present a bigger target than some of my sub-150lb freinds.... I'd only taken a handfull of shots with the gun before getting out in "battle". And any skill I may have aiming riffles is totally irrelevent to the situation of stubby little inaccurate paint markers.
I feel like some sort of freak when I do well at stuff - and I know I shouldn't! It drives me crazy - I'm *always* holding back at stuff. Not making suggestions, taking the riskier choice in card games... anything I can do to even up the odds so all invovled can have a fun time. I'm no super genius. Ok, so I've got a reasonable iq that puts me up there, and yeah, the mensa pretest wasn't a big deal - but that's not saying much. Mensa is one of the easier smart-people clubs to get in to, you know. :-) but it's not an intelligence thing - I went to school with a lot of smart people, and they are the ones who bother me the most as they don't have the excuse that "I'm just not smart enough". Jesus - I remember a guy who was a fine theoritical guy... But spent hours argueing with me on the correct way to use a fricken screwdriver! no lie! This guy kept telling me it's not how it should work... And dropped screw after screw after screw. We were supposed to be building a computer, and I was supposed to be teaching him.... Well, I got 26 of 27 screws in before he made any progress on his one.
Am I really wrong in feeling there's something wrong with him?
jana is still up to her ruin-your-day once a day, and be great the rest of the time thing... Sometimes I think if it weren't for the excitment (anticipation??) of her healing going so quick now.... That I'd be out the door pretty quick.
Well - guess I gotta give her a break. It's not so much longer.
A freind of mine set me up with a link to one of those cool singles site. I don't think I like it quite as much as sparkmatch - which kicked ass - cause it's so public, you know? It's like being in a club, online. I like talking to people one on one, where they start being themselves.
But that's not my real concern - the weird thing is this thing about am I single? No. Am I looking? I'm really not sure. I think I'm looking not to buy, just to look, you know? Call it a scientific curiosity.
Well, speaking of science, I better get some work done around here. I'll chat with you all later. :-)
-Morbid Angel.