(no subject)
I haven't been in love in so long I had forgotten what it felt like. Theres alot of meaning in this relationship, and unlike last time, this time I'm not going to screw up. Jeff and Elan have the same birthday, but they are very different people. Elan did drugs, Jeff never has and never will. Jeff has never been drunk, but its rare if Elan isn't. Theres more, but I dont feel like getting into it right now. I read up alot on astrology when I was with Elan and they are both a Cancer. Saggaitatrius and Cancer can get along incredibly well and forge a bond that no one can break, however, there is one hurtle, near the beggining of their relationship that they must first pass. I dont know about him, but I have a certain amount of beliefe in this kind of stuff, and relating this all to what happened with Elan I know what the hurtle will be. My mom. She took Elan away from me and she wont do it again with Jeff. With Elan we lied about his age, and Jeff and I were planning about lying about his age aswell, but now I'm not so sure thats such a good idea. It's true that my mom (and my dad) will be upset, but I dont want to make the same mistakes I did with Elan. I wont give up when my mother turns the blade, and instead of failing I will win. I hate to think this is all a big battle, but if I dont keep my mind set strong I'm going to end up letting her hurt me again, and in effect hurting Jeff. No one will hurt him anymore. I wont let them. Not my family and not anyone else. I know its silly that I'm the girl and technically he's supposed to protect me, but honestly this isn't the 1900's anymore and I think the protecting should be mutual. I know I'm just his girlfriend, and at some point in time he'll be sad or mad or upset, but no one will break his heart, and no one will scar his soul. I love him too much. Maybe not with every ounce of love just yet, but its so close its not worth it to notice the difference.