(no subject)
I'm going fishing today! :D With Abigail!
Considering my typing skillz, I seriously wonder if this is a good idea, but. *SHRUG* XD I still managed to get my knife away after I was done using it last night while I had far less feeling in my hands, soooo.... YEAH. We're goin' fishin'. :D
Meanwhile, elsewhere, I'm really hoping this motivates me to write Motke. Enjoying his absurdity and love of recreation (why does my hacker like fishing? SOMEONE PLZ EXPLAIN.), I'm hoping it motivates me to properly write the end of this fucking monster properly so I can fucking MOVE ON. e_e;
It's really kind of a difficult thing, y'know. Writing is. I have had no motivation to work on what I ought to be working on in the last thrree days. This is after two days of relief and huge massive love for what I'm writing. So, the secret to success is like, what? Work two days until I'm grinding myself down, rest for five, throw myself into chainsaw on day six? I DON'T THINK SO. e_e;
And now, I will cut for TMI.
I'm working on discovering my personal sexuality and minor kinks. How do I know I have kinks? Because all the sex I've ever had in my life essentially boils down to vanilla, and it's never done it for me. Like, I mean, I like nice hard cocks enough that it's enjoyable, but it's never been more than "um. that's nice?" So, time, I think, to figure out wtf.
A lot of sex experts suggest that women masturbate to the point of orgasm at least once in their lives so that they know what they want and what they need so that they can properly instruct their partner, because nine times out of ten, mens don't have no fuckin' clues. Considering I have been raised that you don't touch no ones down there, I think I started self-investigation about two years ago, thank you transvestite-in-a-bathtub.
Things I have noticed since that point:
-I prefer watching gayman porn to hetero porn. Lesbian porn is kind of "meeehhhh?"
-Internal stimulation's nice and all, but I really rather like the feeling of something hard to grind my labia against during penetration.
-I have a fucking TERRIBLE time fantasizing. Imagination my size, you'd think it'd be fucking easy, but noooo. Clearly there is no actual heterosexual porn in my brain. e_e; And fucking hell if I can get off without it, going "oh, this bit feels like this, interesting." NO! FUCKING BAD SEX TECHNIQUE!
-I need to hear someone breathing hard, whether it's me or a partner (which is something I remembered from forever ago when I had sexual partners e_e; )
-There's something about people chewing on my neck and collar bone. I like the idea of this. It feels like it ought to happen.
So, I recently decided to push myself a little further and find out exactly what the hell I need to achieve an orgasm (damn, that sounds like I ought to get a gold star for this XD). I say rather proudly that I finally have, and I rather prefer the build-up to the actual event. o_O Whaaaatever.
Things I have further discovered:
-I think my psyche is a gay man. Seriously. I have joked about this for many years, because I know very much that I like men, and I like dicks. And I don't really like boobs or clitorises or anything else like that. Also, I really really really really extremely like giving head, which doesn't mean anything so far as it is, but I think coupled with the fact that I have no heterosexual fantasies in my head that don't involve rape scenerios, and the homoerotic ones largely involve from the perspective of the bottom, um. YES. I RATHER THINK I MIGHT BE. (please note: this does not mean I intend a gender change to live as a gay man. I rather like being a girl, kthnx. XD)
-I am most definitely a bottom. I kind of rather enjoy light verbal abuse (really? all that cussing you do in your spare time, and you like verbal abuse? WHO KNEW? XD), and my attention span kind of goes awwwaaaayyyy as soon as anything mildly sexually stimulating shows up. Like, I am not aggressive AT ALL. Though I do rather enjoy fighting, without like punching and knees to groin and stuff like that. More like grappling and being forced into places and positions.
-I have no idea why, but I kind of expect it all to hurt. o_O I don't like getting hurt, but it doesn't feel right without things going to that point. Whether this is fingernails or teeth or what, I just kind of expect it and want it until it happens. XD; Then it's a very "OW SHIT!" feeling. XD D'oh.
-That breathing thing I mentioned up there? Yeah. Totally need it. It is not an option.
-I am kind of rather curious about fisting. It sounds HORRIBLE, but I think some part of me really likes it. o_O
So that's pretty much all I have to rant on that at this juncture. I just wanted to share, and know like NO ONE will read this, because you're all cute little "O__O I WANTED THAT BRAIN KTHNX" people. :D
Except R-chan. I'd totally say R-chan would read this.
Anyway, one parting note: Feminine ejaculate is WEEIIIRRDDD. o_o;
That is all. :D
No, really. That is all. XD
Considering my typing skillz, I seriously wonder if this is a good idea, but. *SHRUG* XD I still managed to get my knife away after I was done using it last night while I had far less feeling in my hands, soooo.... YEAH. We're goin' fishin'. :D
Meanwhile, elsewhere, I'm really hoping this motivates me to write Motke. Enjoying his absurdity and love of recreation (why does my hacker like fishing? SOMEONE PLZ EXPLAIN.), I'm hoping it motivates me to properly write the end of this fucking monster properly so I can fucking MOVE ON. e_e;
It's really kind of a difficult thing, y'know. Writing is. I have had no motivation to work on what I ought to be working on in the last thrree days. This is after two days of relief and huge massive love for what I'm writing. So, the secret to success is like, what? Work two days until I'm grinding myself down, rest for five, throw myself into chainsaw on day six? I DON'T THINK SO. e_e;
And now, I will cut for TMI.
I'm working on discovering my personal sexuality and minor kinks. How do I know I have kinks? Because all the sex I've ever had in my life essentially boils down to vanilla, and it's never done it for me. Like, I mean, I like nice hard cocks enough that it's enjoyable, but it's never been more than "um. that's nice?" So, time, I think, to figure out wtf.
A lot of sex experts suggest that women masturbate to the point of orgasm at least once in their lives so that they know what they want and what they need so that they can properly instruct their partner, because nine times out of ten, mens don't have no fuckin' clues. Considering I have been raised that you don't touch no ones down there, I think I started self-investigation about two years ago, thank you transvestite-in-a-bathtub.
Things I have noticed since that point:
-I prefer watching gayman porn to hetero porn. Lesbian porn is kind of "meeehhhh?"
-Internal stimulation's nice and all, but I really rather like the feeling of something hard to grind my labia against during penetration.
-I have a fucking TERRIBLE time fantasizing. Imagination my size, you'd think it'd be fucking easy, but noooo. Clearly there is no actual heterosexual porn in my brain. e_e; And fucking hell if I can get off without it, going "oh, this bit feels like this, interesting." NO! FUCKING BAD SEX TECHNIQUE!
-I need to hear someone breathing hard, whether it's me or a partner (which is something I remembered from forever ago when I had sexual partners e_e; )
-There's something about people chewing on my neck and collar bone. I like the idea of this. It feels like it ought to happen.
So, I recently decided to push myself a little further and find out exactly what the hell I need to achieve an orgasm (damn, that sounds like I ought to get a gold star for this XD). I say rather proudly that I finally have, and I rather prefer the build-up to the actual event. o_O Whaaaatever.
Things I have further discovered:
-I think my psyche is a gay man. Seriously. I have joked about this for many years, because I know very much that I like men, and I like dicks. And I don't really like boobs or clitorises or anything else like that. Also, I really really really really extremely like giving head, which doesn't mean anything so far as it is, but I think coupled with the fact that I have no heterosexual fantasies in my head that don't involve rape scenerios, and the homoerotic ones largely involve from the perspective of the bottom, um. YES. I RATHER THINK I MIGHT BE. (please note: this does not mean I intend a gender change to live as a gay man. I rather like being a girl, kthnx. XD)
-I am most definitely a bottom. I kind of rather enjoy light verbal abuse (really? all that cussing you do in your spare time, and you like verbal abuse? WHO KNEW? XD), and my attention span kind of goes awwwaaaayyyy as soon as anything mildly sexually stimulating shows up. Like, I am not aggressive AT ALL. Though I do rather enjoy fighting, without like punching and knees to groin and stuff like that. More like grappling and being forced into places and positions.
-I have no idea why, but I kind of expect it all to hurt. o_O I don't like getting hurt, but it doesn't feel right without things going to that point. Whether this is fingernails or teeth or what, I just kind of expect it and want it until it happens. XD; Then it's a very "OW SHIT!" feeling. XD D'oh.
-That breathing thing I mentioned up there? Yeah. Totally need it. It is not an option.
-I am kind of rather curious about fisting. It sounds HORRIBLE, but I think some part of me really likes it. o_O
So that's pretty much all I have to rant on that at this juncture. I just wanted to share, and know like NO ONE will read this, because you're all cute little "O__O I WANTED THAT BRAIN KTHNX" people. :D
Except R-chan. I'd totally say R-chan would read this.
Anyway, one parting note: Feminine ejaculate is WEEIIIRRDDD. o_o;
That is all. :D
No, really. That is all. XD