LA
IN LA
writing in the library at CalState - where I went to high school. It's weird being back here. i'm shadowing my sister for a day to peak in on her life. It's been five years since I graduated from this place & so much has changed.
I've had some low points the last few days - being in LA is a struggle for me - being at my mothers house is really hard. It hasn't felt like home ever I think - but especially since Joe & the kids moved in. It's not MY house - I'm a guest - no matter how much they say I am welcome to stay or even live there. We moved there 6 years ago - you'd think it'd feel like home by now. Even worse is the absence of Tiki & Pud. My heart aches for a little warm furry in my life - but there is no space for one & worse yet I'm finding that I'm hesitant & even resistant to making friends with warm furries that do pass through my life.
I didn't even say goodbye to Tomkitty - I said goodbye to my plants but not the cat - how fucked up is that.
Anyhow - I'm really ready to be outta here now - I've been in limbo for too long - need to be somewhere & start setting things up - I've got about two more days here til I hit SanDiego.
In many ways it will be a relief just to arrive
writing in the library at CalState - where I went to high school. It's weird being back here. i'm shadowing my sister for a day to peak in on her life. It's been five years since I graduated from this place & so much has changed.
I've had some low points the last few days - being in LA is a struggle for me - being at my mothers house is really hard. It hasn't felt like home ever I think - but especially since Joe & the kids moved in. It's not MY house - I'm a guest - no matter how much they say I am welcome to stay or even live there. We moved there 6 years ago - you'd think it'd feel like home by now. Even worse is the absence of Tiki & Pud. My heart aches for a little warm furry in my life - but there is no space for one & worse yet I'm finding that I'm hesitant & even resistant to making friends with warm furries that do pass through my life.
I didn't even say goodbye to Tomkitty - I said goodbye to my plants but not the cat - how fucked up is that.
Anyhow - I'm really ready to be outta here now - I've been in limbo for too long - need to be somewhere & start setting things up - I've got about two more days here til I hit SanDiego.
In many ways it will be a relief just to arrive