Boy and Girl

[moosica_chica]

So…let me tell you a little story about a boy and a girl. Girl knows boy for over a year, but then something happens and she realizes she feels a lot differently about him that she did at first. Or maybe, it was that she finally opened her mind to let feelings occur that had already been there before but that she couldn’t do anything about. Boy and girl start hanging out, going for walks at night, having sleepovers, playing the question game, etc. Some things don’t go as planned, and things are kept a secret so people don’t find out. Girl isn’t ok with that really, but doesn’t want to mess things up because as much as she wishes she could help it, she’s falling completely head over heels for this boy. Other implications occur with another girl and a confusing metaphor and the two stop talking for a few weeks. After a vacation, boy comes back and wants to apologize. Girl listens but doesn’t want to hear what he has to say. Then one night, they are with other people and stay up until 6am and realize there is more to the other than what they thought and there is something more they want to get to know better. So, they decide to try and start from scratch and slow things down. Things are going really well but there is still another girl around. Soon, even she goes away, but girl gets an amazing opportunity to work her dream summer job and takes it, knowing that things will have to change in a month or so. Nothing is ever solidified between boy and girl, but they start spending more and more time together, which messes with girl’s mind because she doesn’t know what to think about what is going on. Are they? Aren’t they? What is this? Summer soon approaches and girl is given three options: 1) Call it quits 2) Call it quits until August and see how things are when the school year approaches 3) Try the long-distance thing. Boy says he doesn’t really think option 1 is an option, so that is eliminated. Girl doesn’t like option 2 because it sounds to her like a get-out-of-jail-free pass for him to do whatever he wants (especially with other girl) and then have something still waiting around at the end of the summer. They settle on option 3, but there’s the keyword-settle. Girl really wants this to happen, but boy is hesitant and uses a past example of a failed relationship to show why this is a bad idea. Girl just doesn’t want to risk losing boy. The two go on a trip to China with some others and spend days together for two weeks, 24/7. There are some minor disagreements, but things go fairly well for most of the trip. Then on the way home, hesitation reappears about the summer and the three options are revisited. Boy says that he feels passive about the whole situation and could really go either way that girl wants, but that he doesn’t feel or care strongly one way or the other. He says he likes girl, but doesn’t know what to think. Girl still really wants things to work, because despite everything that has happened in their semester of history together, she still thinks he’s great for her. They stay with option 3 and say goodbye when they land back home and she goes off to her summer job. That night, the apprehensions occur because of a misunderstanding and miscommunication. While that sets the summer off on a bad foot, all it was really was a “mis”. Boy uses that as fodder for more hesitation and the two end up arguing ethree nights in a row about the hardships of a long-distance relationship. Rather than just enjoying talking with each other and looking forward to the next time they get to see each other, the glass has to remain half empty all the time. More time is spent focusing on the negative side of what is occurring that they can’t realize the positive aspects. While in the airport on that long ride home, they had decided things needed to slow down even more, so how can summer nights of conversation not help with just that. The fact that boy was only willing to spend a handful of days trying out the situation ended up showing girl that maybe he isn’t everything she thought he was. What boy never knew is that she saved some conversations they had had over the past months on her computer and in her phone and was reading them when she missed him. She had his sweatshirt from wearing it home one morning and took a nap in it a few days ago so she could fall asleep smelling him next to her when she closed her eyes. She wanted to make plans to go to Flagstaff mainly to see him, but didn’t want to seem too obvious about it. The only reason she hadn’t booked the tickets was because she could hear the uncertainty in his decisions. It’s true that the first thing that went wrong was the way things started with boy and girl, but they were given the chance for a fresh start after Spring Break. Unfortunately, the reason the glass is either half empty or full is because one side can’t ever completely convince the other that they are right. In this situation, the negative time spent on worrying about things that weren’t even happening might have made boy completely miss out on a chance with girl. Girl knows she doesn’t need to put up with people bringing her down, but she also knew that wasn’t usually the case with boy. He was uncertain and needed some convincing, but whatever he had made up in his mind was too concrete for her to do anything about. Maybe even in the beginning, girl shouldn’t have stuck around if he couldn’t make up his mind then. She knew that things occur for people on different timelines. Girl hopes that boy will change his mind and realize his mistake, but if not, she’s not going to let that ruin her summer. She knows there are other boys in the world or even park in this case and is a little scared that her roommate is already starting to plan things out like meeting the boys who live in the house next door. Girl believes everything happens for a reason and knows that if boy doesn’t figure it out, she will live by the cliché that when one door closes, another one opens.

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It's 2am and I still can't get back to sleep because I keep thinking too much.

You say you like me and I like you. Why can't it be as simple as that? Why does there have to be so much tension and trouble because of just a few hundred miles? Last night you were trying to work in calling me "babe" to show you care, and then tonight you want to call it quits? I put out a tough front and pretend I don't care so I don't get hurt--that's always been my defense mechanism. You say it didn't work out the way you hoped with the distance thing, but you never gave it a chance. Maybe the jealous/mad/sad stuff was a sign that you weren't really as passive about things as you seemed or thought you were. I know I deserve better than no chance. I look for the best in people, go out of my way to do nice things, and go into situations with blind faith. Maybe it's naive of me and I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I'm not going to fight for things that hurt me because I don't think I should have to fight. I'm a pretty special person and someday someone will figure that out.