(no subject)
Sometimes the e-mails from Amazon just crack me up. Today I got a rec for Tinker Bell on DVD. This is apparently related to having purchased or rated Shrek II. I'm such the Tinker Bell type, don't you think?
I'm trying to prep things for being out of the office on Thursday and Friday. I've pretty much got everything covered. I just have to leave each person a note with explicit details for what they are doing. Our 2IC was asking what she needed to do and I carefully held back the insane laughter as I let her know everything was taken care of. She knows nothing about my job and not only do I not have the time to teach her, I'm not sure she'd be able to pick it up in time to actually do it this week. So I've divvied things up between people who can handle various parts. I fear the mound of paperwork that will be on my desk when I return on Monday.
But I will be with B in 2 days!!!!!!!!!!!!! Two. Days. Whee!!!!!!! I cannot wait.
I don't usually remember dreams, but I had two doozies last night.
I had a dream last night that I don't fully remember now. But in my dream, Chris was stopping from doing something I wanted and needed to do. I was so annoyed that I actually woke up, got out of bed and paced the living room. When I came back, Chris had woken up and asked what was wrong. I told him in my dream he was blocking me from whatever (I could remember it then) and that it pissed me off. He gently reassured the raving lunatic me that he wouldn't do that and snuggled me back to sleep. Does anyone else have dreams that get you so riled up you wake up angry at someone/something? I hate that.
Then this morning I had the most bizarre dream. So in my dream I had ordered this special DVD and dildo combo that was supposed to revolutionize ones anal sex life. I don't even know where that came from. Also included in the kit was a set of lifesize maxi-pads to lay on if you wanted to have sex while on your period (because every woman bleeds enough to need a lifesize maxi-pad, right?). WTF?
It gets better ... so in the dream, Chris leaves for work and I have the day off. I pretend I'm sleeping in, but as soon as he's gone, I pull out the dvd, dildo, and a maxi-pad. Pull back the covers on the bed so I can get in the middle and with remote in one hand and dildo in the other, I get to work following the dvd guide. So I'm there for a bit, and get myself all good to go and then magically I'm in a waiting room at the Institute the kit comes from waiting for my personal "consultation".
Oh yeah, and the dildo? Is in my ass. Not a butt plug, the dildo. I'm wearing a skirt and it's causing the back of the skirt to stick up a little. But I'm sitting in a special donut-shaped chair (to accommodate the dildo, because I'm not the only idiot doing this "amazing as seen on TV program"), waiting for my turn. A woman comes out and says that my consultant is almost ready for me, I just need to "drink this first". "This" turns out to be a 2-cup measuring cup filled with Sambuca. It's to "relax" me. Uh yeah, I've got a huge fucking dildo up my ass and I'm sitting patiently in a waiting room, I think I'm relaxed enough. The following convo ensues:
Me: I'm not drinking that.
Her: It's standard procedure ma'am.
Me: No.
Her: I don't understand what the problem is.
Me: It's Sambuca. I don't like Sambuca.
Her: Well, we've got Jaeger, if you prefer that.
Me: There's no way I could choke down that much of either. It's the licorice flavor.
Yeah. My problem wasn't that they were trying to get me drunk. My problem was the choice of alcohol. If it had been Bushmills or Jameson I would have been happy to drink it. I probably would have let them shoot me up with morphine. But dream me drew the line at Sambuca.
Somehow I get around having to drink the drink and I'm taken to the consultation room. There's a hairy, naked guy stretched out on a bed. His dick is being held up straight by a really hot chick. There are other naked women in the room, all gorgeous. I look at the woman holding the dick and say, "Do we need him? How about just us girls and this monster in my ass? It's bigger than he is anyway."
And then I woke up. Anyone up for interpreting that? *g*
Okay. Back to work. Maybe some writing. We shall see.
I'm trying to prep things for being out of the office on Thursday and Friday. I've pretty much got everything covered. I just have to leave each person a note with explicit details for what they are doing. Our 2IC was asking what she needed to do and I carefully held back the insane laughter as I let her know everything was taken care of. She knows nothing about my job and not only do I not have the time to teach her, I'm not sure she'd be able to pick it up in time to actually do it this week. So I've divvied things up between people who can handle various parts. I fear the mound of paperwork that will be on my desk when I return on Monday.
But I will be with B in 2 days!!!!!!!!!!!!! Two. Days. Whee!!!!!!! I cannot wait.
I don't usually remember dreams, but I had two doozies last night.
I had a dream last night that I don't fully remember now. But in my dream, Chris was stopping from doing something I wanted and needed to do. I was so annoyed that I actually woke up, got out of bed and paced the living room. When I came back, Chris had woken up and asked what was wrong. I told him in my dream he was blocking me from whatever (I could remember it then) and that it pissed me off. He gently reassured the raving lunatic me that he wouldn't do that and snuggled me back to sleep. Does anyone else have dreams that get you so riled up you wake up angry at someone/something? I hate that.
Then this morning I had the most bizarre dream. So in my dream I had ordered this special DVD and dildo combo that was supposed to revolutionize ones anal sex life. I don't even know where that came from. Also included in the kit was a set of lifesize maxi-pads to lay on if you wanted to have sex while on your period (because every woman bleeds enough to need a lifesize maxi-pad, right?). WTF?
It gets better ... so in the dream, Chris leaves for work and I have the day off. I pretend I'm sleeping in, but as soon as he's gone, I pull out the dvd, dildo, and a maxi-pad. Pull back the covers on the bed so I can get in the middle and with remote in one hand and dildo in the other, I get to work following the dvd guide. So I'm there for a bit, and get myself all good to go and then magically I'm in a waiting room at the Institute the kit comes from waiting for my personal "consultation".
Oh yeah, and the dildo? Is in my ass. Not a butt plug, the dildo. I'm wearing a skirt and it's causing the back of the skirt to stick up a little. But I'm sitting in a special donut-shaped chair (to accommodate the dildo, because I'm not the only idiot doing this "amazing as seen on TV program"), waiting for my turn. A woman comes out and says that my consultant is almost ready for me, I just need to "drink this first". "This" turns out to be a 2-cup measuring cup filled with Sambuca. It's to "relax" me. Uh yeah, I've got a huge fucking dildo up my ass and I'm sitting patiently in a waiting room, I think I'm relaxed enough. The following convo ensues:
Me: I'm not drinking that.
Her: It's standard procedure ma'am.
Me: No.
Her: I don't understand what the problem is.
Me: It's Sambuca. I don't like Sambuca.
Her: Well, we've got Jaeger, if you prefer that.
Me: There's no way I could choke down that much of either. It's the licorice flavor.
Yeah. My problem wasn't that they were trying to get me drunk. My problem was the choice of alcohol. If it had been Bushmills or Jameson I would have been happy to drink it. I probably would have let them shoot me up with morphine. But dream me drew the line at Sambuca.
Somehow I get around having to drink the drink and I'm taken to the consultation room. There's a hairy, naked guy stretched out on a bed. His dick is being held up straight by a really hot chick. There are other naked women in the room, all gorgeous. I look at the woman holding the dick and say, "Do we need him? How about just us girls and this monster in my ass? It's bigger than he is anyway."
And then I woke up. Anyone up for interpreting that? *g*
Okay. Back to work. Maybe some writing. We shall see.