(no subject)
I feel so wired and anxious right now. I don't know what to do with myself. And I keep repeating the same information like a conveyorbelt on a treadmill just going around and around. The worst or rather ironic part of this is that I'm not obligated to do anything! I'm free to relax; no classes, no work, and no job. What is this??
I can't not be doing absolutely nothing.
I feel like I've just suddenly realized how fucked I am in life. I am unemployed....but I suppose I don't deserve that term since I haven't been actively seeking employment - althoughl, everytime I try to look on craigslist I'm terribly discouraged by the scams and the same old postings. Needless to say, I'm FREAKING OUT. I don't know how I can possibly explain this to anyone so I'm writing this long drawn out message that I don't expect anyone to read. FUUUCK!
I need to find a lab,
I need to find a job
I need to feel like I'm doing something with my life!!!!
AND I FEEL LIKE I'M BAD AT WHAT I DO! I'm not a very good student and haven't been this past year. I hope I have above a 3.0..... I just feel like letter grades don't matter at this stage and it's really about how you reason and your retained knowledge. But I know I need those fucking grades. People are going to want evidential proof for the last three years of my life...
I feel hopeless. I need someone to hold me and tell me that everything's going to be alright.
I can't not be doing absolutely nothing.
I feel like I've just suddenly realized how fucked I am in life. I am unemployed....but I suppose I don't deserve that term since I haven't been actively seeking employment - althoughl, everytime I try to look on craigslist I'm terribly discouraged by the scams and the same old postings. Needless to say, I'm FREAKING OUT. I don't know how I can possibly explain this to anyone so I'm writing this long drawn out message that I don't expect anyone to read. FUUUCK!
I need to find a lab,
I need to find a job
I need to feel like I'm doing something with my life!!!!
AND I FEEL LIKE I'M BAD AT WHAT I DO! I'm not a very good student and haven't been this past year. I hope I have above a 3.0..... I just feel like letter grades don't matter at this stage and it's really about how you reason and your retained knowledge. But I know I need those fucking grades. People are going to want evidential proof for the last three years of my life...
I feel hopeless. I need someone to hold me and tell me that everything's going to be alright.