(no subject)
I feel as if there is so much I want to say, and either not enough time or effort to really write it down.
I am completely and irrevocably in love with someone who does not have the ability to love me back. Or maybe he just doesn't want to. Regardless of the reasoning on his end, it has one major effect upon my insecurity as a person--I feel incredibly more insecure than I did about a month ago.
It wouldn't be so bad--if he just did (something) to make up for the fact that I'm miserable being in love with him.
Like talk to me. Call me to say hello. Come see me once a week.
Yes, once a week is really all I want.
I've been in a one on one bonding situation with Graham less times than I can count on two hands.
And guess what? I cherish those few times more than I think I could ever value seeing him every day.
The time spent apart really helps me realize how much that time means, and how important it is to spend it with someone who isn't an idiot.
And someone who I really don't hold back with.
Is that the reason why he didn't acknowledge my existence yesterday? Have I been too outspoken, too blunt?
I feel like he told me once that that was one of the qualities he liked best about me--my absolute inability to really care what comes out of my mouth.
I just don't know how to cope with being so ignored right now.
Especially when I feel like I'm losing touch with everything and need support. From somewhere. Someone.
I can't do this on my own anymore.
I am completely and irrevocably in love with someone who does not have the ability to love me back. Or maybe he just doesn't want to. Regardless of the reasoning on his end, it has one major effect upon my insecurity as a person--I feel incredibly more insecure than I did about a month ago.
It wouldn't be so bad--if he just did (something) to make up for the fact that I'm miserable being in love with him.
Like talk to me. Call me to say hello. Come see me once a week.
Yes, once a week is really all I want.
I've been in a one on one bonding situation with Graham less times than I can count on two hands.
And guess what? I cherish those few times more than I think I could ever value seeing him every day.
The time spent apart really helps me realize how much that time means, and how important it is to spend it with someone who isn't an idiot.
And someone who I really don't hold back with.
Is that the reason why he didn't acknowledge my existence yesterday? Have I been too outspoken, too blunt?
I feel like he told me once that that was one of the qualities he liked best about me--my absolute inability to really care what comes out of my mouth.
I just don't know how to cope with being so ignored right now.
Especially when I feel like I'm losing touch with everything and need support. From somewhere. Someone.
I can't do this on my own anymore.