The Vodka, Beer, Rum, and Gin diary. Entry # 1
It has come to my attention, that some of best pieces of writing ever written were written by drunkards. Mark Twain was a known drunkard, and Edgar Allen Poe died a few feet away from the bar he was drinking at that night.
With that said, I thought I would start what you would call a drunk diary. Being drunk brings out a wide range of thoughts that a normal person would not normally say. On the other hand, you have a fucker like me, who really does not give a fuck (really, to tell you all the truth, I like all of you, you all are cool people, but I don't really give a fuck what you think of me, I shit bricks that I care more about) and still writes in shit like this. However, who knows, this could make for some interesting reading, for both the reader and me, I might be surprised when I read this in the morning, or a day or two after. I do however promise you that I wont change this, no matter the feelings I feel when I sober up.
I have moved into my new apartment. Its a fucking blast, I don't have to answer to anyone, nor do I have to worry about anyone watching me. Almir is my roommate, he's cool, mostly like me, I got no complaints. Schoolwork is a bitch, as usual, Calc. can eat my asshole, like really, it can eat the brown stuff that comes out of it, and if it wants, it can enjoy it like it would a five star meal.
I realized that I dont like going back to Harrison Township/Clinton Township anymore. Most of the friends I had during the high school years have either chosen other things (drugs) to pursue, or have just decided to be dickheads and never call me for some reason. Somehow I feel like im the one to blame for that, maybe its the fact that I have a DUI and an MIP on my record, and due to that they think that I have become an alcoholic since I have had to deal w/ all the consequences that come alone w/ those charges. Fuck it though, Im over it, if you were my boy, you would be there for me through everything. Fuck you for being a fucking vagina and not telling me how you feel instead of just ignoring me. You could've foudn at least a bit of time to tell me how you feel. Im sorry you dont have the balls to stick up to anything that comes at you in your life. Others feel like they need me to treat them better than they treat me. Umm....isnt friendship based on equality. If youre my boy, and I treat you w/ the most respect I possibly can, I expect you to treat me w/ the same respect that I treat you with. Im sorry bro, youre not better than me, and I will never treat you like that because I feel that friends should have equality between each other, im not better than you, and youre not better than me, thats the way it's always been (at least for me) and thats the way it'll always be. Hope you feel fullfilled w/ the friends you have, the ones that will actually take the shit you give them. I'll see you in my 545li in a few years, oh and dont worry, I'll make sure I wave.
Girls. Grammar rules say that something like that is a fragment, or an incomplete sentence. However, if you really thought about it, saying the word "Girls" and pausing for a while, would explain everything. Most girls are the most confused, fucked up, irrational, biased, and emotional pieces of shit I have ever had the chance to meet. I tried, I really did, I tried to make a relationship work, however, between trying to make myself happy, and being away from the one you loved, it became pretty hard. My thoughts on relationships was that you cant really make someone else happy unless youre happy yourself. That would in fact make it my mistake, my mistake that I ever got into what I got myself into. Which would lead me to say that I got no one but myself to blame for what Im feeling right now. I mean, I grew enough fucking balls to tell that fucking slut how I feel, and she fucking trashed on me. So how does that feel, I mean, most of you know how it feels, so I dont have to tell you again. All I can tell you is that MOST bitches are just panty droppers, and thats all they are good for. MOST of them use shows like the OC and Laguna Beach to justify their pathetic drama filled existance, finding common instances in their lives w/ kids that have no bounds in life and dont really realize it.
One more thing that I've tried to understand is the hatred that comes against me. I dont know why, nor do I know how, nor do I know the reason why anyone has ever had the reason to hate me......ever! In my darkest times, at the points of my life where I have felt like the biggest piece of shit ever, I have always found the fucking time to show kindness to people. Shake your hand, show you respect, even if you dont know me. I've never been cocky up until people showed me that they didnt like me for who I am, I've never been arrogant up until that point either. So to this day I wonder why things are the way they are, why I walk through a coffee shop or restaurant and have some drunk ass 35 year old bump into me and disrespect me. Why is it that every party I go to, some fucker feels like starting shit w/ me. Why is it that a full grown woman feels like disrespecting me when I try to show her respect in front of her daugher? Why? I've never felt like I was better than anyone, I've acted the way I have acted because of the way I've grown up, I cant help that. My parents always told me to show respect to everyone, even if they dont respect you. That was supposed to build my character, all it did was show me the ugliness that people have in them.
I dont take shit from anyone, I will never do that, I dont care if youre my father, my best friend, or my brother, I will call you out on every type of bullshit that you show me. If youre man enough, you'll talk it over with me, if not, im sorry you're not mature to handle the shit that men get thrown at them. I may be irrational at times, and when those times come along, I do realize them, and I do apologize. However, I hate you fucking vaginas that feel like giving me shit when Im most vulnerable, for instance when im wasted, or when Im in a position that I can't do anything at all. Thats what I call a fucking cowardly way out. Too bad you cant look inside yourself and find enough courage to actually confront me when im in a state thats equal to state that youre in.
I dont know, every day I get sadder at the fact that the world is a bunch of sad nobodys. Most people dont know what they have in them, they use the easy way out to forget about everything. It doesnt work though, it just makes their problems come back at them two-fold. Most people dont know the potential they have, the power they have to change this world, instead, most of them are just too lazy, and opt. out to get stoned instead of doing anything. Such is life, and in the end, everyone finds their place, even if they are not pleased with they one they have.
With that said, I thought I would start what you would call a drunk diary. Being drunk brings out a wide range of thoughts that a normal person would not normally say. On the other hand, you have a fucker like me, who really does not give a fuck (really, to tell you all the truth, I like all of you, you all are cool people, but I don't really give a fuck what you think of me, I shit bricks that I care more about) and still writes in shit like this. However, who knows, this could make for some interesting reading, for both the reader and me, I might be surprised when I read this in the morning, or a day or two after. I do however promise you that I wont change this, no matter the feelings I feel when I sober up.
I have moved into my new apartment. Its a fucking blast, I don't have to answer to anyone, nor do I have to worry about anyone watching me. Almir is my roommate, he's cool, mostly like me, I got no complaints. Schoolwork is a bitch, as usual, Calc. can eat my asshole, like really, it can eat the brown stuff that comes out of it, and if it wants, it can enjoy it like it would a five star meal.
I realized that I dont like going back to Harrison Township/Clinton Township anymore. Most of the friends I had during the high school years have either chosen other things (drugs) to pursue, or have just decided to be dickheads and never call me for some reason. Somehow I feel like im the one to blame for that, maybe its the fact that I have a DUI and an MIP on my record, and due to that they think that I have become an alcoholic since I have had to deal w/ all the consequences that come alone w/ those charges. Fuck it though, Im over it, if you were my boy, you would be there for me through everything. Fuck you for being a fucking vagina and not telling me how you feel instead of just ignoring me. You could've foudn at least a bit of time to tell me how you feel. Im sorry you dont have the balls to stick up to anything that comes at you in your life. Others feel like they need me to treat them better than they treat me. Umm....isnt friendship based on equality. If youre my boy, and I treat you w/ the most respect I possibly can, I expect you to treat me w/ the same respect that I treat you with. Im sorry bro, youre not better than me, and I will never treat you like that because I feel that friends should have equality between each other, im not better than you, and youre not better than me, thats the way it's always been (at least for me) and thats the way it'll always be. Hope you feel fullfilled w/ the friends you have, the ones that will actually take the shit you give them. I'll see you in my 545li in a few years, oh and dont worry, I'll make sure I wave.
Girls. Grammar rules say that something like that is a fragment, or an incomplete sentence. However, if you really thought about it, saying the word "Girls" and pausing for a while, would explain everything. Most girls are the most confused, fucked up, irrational, biased, and emotional pieces of shit I have ever had the chance to meet. I tried, I really did, I tried to make a relationship work, however, between trying to make myself happy, and being away from the one you loved, it became pretty hard. My thoughts on relationships was that you cant really make someone else happy unless youre happy yourself. That would in fact make it my mistake, my mistake that I ever got into what I got myself into. Which would lead me to say that I got no one but myself to blame for what Im feeling right now. I mean, I grew enough fucking balls to tell that fucking slut how I feel, and she fucking trashed on me. So how does that feel, I mean, most of you know how it feels, so I dont have to tell you again. All I can tell you is that MOST bitches are just panty droppers, and thats all they are good for. MOST of them use shows like the OC and Laguna Beach to justify their pathetic drama filled existance, finding common instances in their lives w/ kids that have no bounds in life and dont really realize it.
One more thing that I've tried to understand is the hatred that comes against me. I dont know why, nor do I know how, nor do I know the reason why anyone has ever had the reason to hate me......ever! In my darkest times, at the points of my life where I have felt like the biggest piece of shit ever, I have always found the fucking time to show kindness to people. Shake your hand, show you respect, even if you dont know me. I've never been cocky up until people showed me that they didnt like me for who I am, I've never been arrogant up until that point either. So to this day I wonder why things are the way they are, why I walk through a coffee shop or restaurant and have some drunk ass 35 year old bump into me and disrespect me. Why is it that every party I go to, some fucker feels like starting shit w/ me. Why is it that a full grown woman feels like disrespecting me when I try to show her respect in front of her daugher? Why? I've never felt like I was better than anyone, I've acted the way I have acted because of the way I've grown up, I cant help that. My parents always told me to show respect to everyone, even if they dont respect you. That was supposed to build my character, all it did was show me the ugliness that people have in them.
I dont take shit from anyone, I will never do that, I dont care if youre my father, my best friend, or my brother, I will call you out on every type of bullshit that you show me. If youre man enough, you'll talk it over with me, if not, im sorry you're not mature to handle the shit that men get thrown at them. I may be irrational at times, and when those times come along, I do realize them, and I do apologize. However, I hate you fucking vaginas that feel like giving me shit when Im most vulnerable, for instance when im wasted, or when Im in a position that I can't do anything at all. Thats what I call a fucking cowardly way out. Too bad you cant look inside yourself and find enough courage to actually confront me when im in a state thats equal to state that youre in.
I dont know, every day I get sadder at the fact that the world is a bunch of sad nobodys. Most people dont know what they have in them, they use the easy way out to forget about everything. It doesnt work though, it just makes their problems come back at them two-fold. Most people dont know the potential they have, the power they have to change this world, instead, most of them are just too lazy, and opt. out to get stoned instead of doing anything. Such is life, and in the end, everyone finds their place, even if they are not pleased with they one they have.