"You catch lightning in a jar, you've gotta hang onto it."
SO much has changed in the last month. SO, SO much. I am so happy. I might even be the happiest I've ever been. The only thing that was ever really standing in the way of my happiness was my own attitude and my own anxieties. As soon as I started to put everything into perspective, I felt amazing. And feel amazing.
And I'm leaving college soon, and even THAT feels amazing. And not as scary as I thought it was going to feel.
I have amazing friends, amazing jobs, amazing adventures, and amazing self-confidence. It's like "How Stella Got Her Groove Back," only if it was a lifetime movie about a 22-year-old white girl.
I've never felt more accomplished, after having turned myself around so quickly and having gotten *most* of my shit together for the end of the year.
Not to mention, my last show of college goes up next weekend, and things are looking great. And I already have two (possibly three) shows lined up for this summer.
And of course, as soon as I realized that I didn't NEED a man (well, I always knew I didn't NEED one, I just finally got really comfortable and felt really happy without one again),...one just kinda fell into my lap. And no, Erica, it's not even the one you think it is, that I went on a couple dates with and had some scandalous excursions with (whoops!!!). It's another guy, who is absolutely the most perfect person for me. We met, and instantly I felt SO comfortable, and I had more fun just being around him for a day than I have on any date I've ever been on.
Everything just clicked.
And I'm not even worried. You'd think I'd be nervous about letting myself get carried away with this, after all of the times I've let myself do that and have been let down...but I'm not even worried.
I'm happy to get carried away. I think it's going to be healthy for me to let myself be excited about this, for once.
Because I haven't been so excited about someone like this in a very, very long time.
What a crazy life.
And I'm leaving college soon, and even THAT feels amazing. And not as scary as I thought it was going to feel.
I have amazing friends, amazing jobs, amazing adventures, and amazing self-confidence. It's like "How Stella Got Her Groove Back," only if it was a lifetime movie about a 22-year-old white girl.
I've never felt more accomplished, after having turned myself around so quickly and having gotten *most* of my shit together for the end of the year.
Not to mention, my last show of college goes up next weekend, and things are looking great. And I already have two (possibly three) shows lined up for this summer.
And of course, as soon as I realized that I didn't NEED a man (well, I always knew I didn't NEED one, I just finally got really comfortable and felt really happy without one again),...one just kinda fell into my lap. And no, Erica, it's not even the one you think it is, that I went on a couple dates with and had some scandalous excursions with (whoops!!!). It's another guy, who is absolutely the most perfect person for me. We met, and instantly I felt SO comfortable, and I had more fun just being around him for a day than I have on any date I've ever been on.
Everything just clicked.
And I'm not even worried. You'd think I'd be nervous about letting myself get carried away with this, after all of the times I've let myself do that and have been let down...but I'm not even worried.
I'm happy to get carried away. I think it's going to be healthy for me to let myself be excited about this, for once.
Because I haven't been so excited about someone like this in a very, very long time.
What a crazy life.