I Do - R\M
The dim light in his desk illuminated his room, putting him in a yellow light, lots of shadows around, except for the brightness coming from the screen of his laptop that was on his table the chair slightly away from the table, and two steps closer to the bed.
His body laid spread on the bed, his arms falling from each side, his blond hair spangled across the pillow, the sheets tossed into the floor, waking from the deep sleep he was in, being disturbed as he revolved around the bed, as the noise of the party invaded his room, once again.
Suddenly his eyes flung open, the sweat dripping from his forehead, assuming a sitting position on his bed, he flinched as his feet touched the cold floor, his sight diverted to small clock seeing it blink as the number changed reaching 3 AM.
Rubbing his face, taking the sweat from his forehead, burying his head on his hands, while supporting his arms on his knees, taking a deep breath, to calm himself, as a deep sigh left his mouth, sitting by his desk, letting his eyes adjust to the screen of his laptop, pulling the chair closer, he sighed knowing that for that night those 3 hours of sleep was all he would be allowed to have; that his mind would allow him to have.
Letting his hands run through his hair, he could feel his body sweating as the late summer breeze run through his dorm room despite being slightly cold as the autumn was starting to reach once again, looking at his final project, this was it, after delivering this nothing else would stop him there.
A couple of hours later, two cups of strong black tea and strong coffee, he pressed save and that was it, his college education was done, once again he glanced to his watch seeing, 7.30 Am.
Quickly he grabbed one towel, tossing his wife beater to his pile of dirty laundry, as he went inside the bathroom, letting his pyjamas pants fall into the ground, stepping inside the shower, he slowly turned the hot water, letting the steam fill the room, slowly all his body was covered with water.
Allowing his hands to travel through his back, trying to ease the stress that was always there, that had been there for quite some time, as the hot water, had turned to cold, still running down his body, he could feel his eyes getting heavier each moment that went by he closed his eyes, resting his body to the marble wall and fall asleep, losing track of time.
As the sun rose higher in the sky, finding the breach into that small room from the small window across him, hitting his face, he wondered it might have been around eleven am, he had been there for two hours, as his head arise from his knees, the September sun, hit his face, making his blond hair shine, the way it shined back then but his blue eyes never shined like they used to, he let out a deep sigh as he wrapped the towel around his waist, still little water drops run from his hair to his torso, opening his eyes he removed his hair from his face, it had grown a bit long, so was his beard but he didn’t care, he stopped caring a while ago.
Passing through his drawers he quickly grabbed some boxers that he put on, letting the towel to rest on the floor, then he took a wife beater that he toss as he hold up one old grey t-shirt, scanning the room for some jeans, that where hanging on the chair by the window, he grabbed them at the same time, he turned on the printer, ordering his final project to being printed. As he finished tying his warn out boots, he heard the sound of the printer finish his last essay.
Two hours later, project delivered and defended in front of his teachers, he knew that he didn’t let them down, his grades were above the average, in fact he was in those 2% that usually were invited to teach witch he refused or at least asking some time to think about it, saying his family needed him but in reality it was him, that needed to deal with his demons. After denying they exist ever since he arrived there.
As he entered his dorm room, seeing his surroundings, the plain bedroom four white walls the bed in a corner, one window on the opposite of the door, a side door to the bathroom, only a table, a desk with his laptop, a small cabinet, where all his clothes were packed, next to his suitcases, one next to another, waiting for him to hold them again and return home.
Countless times he wanted to pack them and go back, but if he ever waited more than 5 seconds, he would stop himself, not packing, the result was despite wanting to be home he had gone home 2 times, always on Christmas, arriving there the day before and leaving the day after, using the excuse that his course was too demanding, but it kept him occupied, not allowing his mind to think of that night three years ago.
After the initial shock, everyone seemed a bit lost, no one was talking, eating, seemed the world had stopped, August passed in a blur, soon September was almost over, and no one knew what to do or didn’t knew what to do, but one night after being on the same place, that he always got stuck in his nightmares, after being in all their places, he decided it was time to move on, at least physically cause emotionally he knew he was trapped. Like he always had been for a while now, without knowing when he wouldn’t be.
He had realised that no matter how long he stayed there sited, talking to her, that there wasn’t much for him to do, time wouldn’t stop and neither would his heart change, but what would the point of being always there, they weren’t a couple at the time it happened, he was just her friend.
Without knowing it was her that gave him the strength to go and study, in that moment when the sun was setting, hitting her pale face, he knew it was time for a part of his life to move on. Because something deep inside him, told him that if she was there, she would still be going with her father.
~Flashback~
Entering the Cohen kitchen, seeing everyone involved in their thoughts, he announced as he poured a couple of black coffee “I’m going to Berkeley next week!” like it was something completely normal.
Soon the questions filled the room, but no one dared to question him for why he was acting like that, without holding his breath, knowing what was on their minds “I know it seems rushed, but there’s nothing more I can do, what should I stay and watch the world turn…. I’m sorry but I have to go, eventually I’ll deal with the consequences”.
Everyone understood what he meant, he never was the one to turn his back on a battle, if he turned then there was a greater reason. He wasn’t running, he was aware that life wouldn’t stop and if it wasn’t the accident he would be going to college, “the kids” all would be going to college or away. One week later he was settled in Berkeley.
~End of Flashback~