That 70s show quotes - season 7 part 1
Kitty: Honey, we just..We want to know what your plans are. I would have waited until next week to ask you, but apparently some people agree to things and then just do whatever they want.
Red: I've got some questions, I want answers. What are you doing about moving out?
Eric: I don't know.
Red: About Donna?
Eric: I don't know.
Red: Your job?
Eric: I don't know.
Red: Your future?
Eric: Okay, I’m gonna go ahead and hit you with an...I don't know.
Red: Then no food for you.
Eric: What?
Kitty: Red, he's so skinny. Just take away his car.
Red: No. I’m trying to teach the boy responsibility. I want a plan out of you by tonight or no dinner, either.
Eric: Dad, that's no... Wait, mom, what's for dinner?
Kitty: Fried chicken.
Eric: Oh, come on!
(Hyde comes in)
Red: Steven, when are you moving out?
Hyde: Soon
Red: How's the girlfriend?
Hyde: Shallow as hell.
Red: Job?
Hyde: Dead-end.
Red: Future?
Hyde: Bleak.
Red: Kitty, feed the boy.
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Donna: Jackie, if you don't have anything nice to say, just don't say anything at all.
Jackie: Well, if I followed that rule I'd never speak again!
Eric: Yeah, it's kinda the idea.
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Kitty: Feminist. Equal pay's fine but put a little lipstick on.
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Kelso: Hey, Eric traded Donna in for a hot blonde.
Donna turns around.
Kelso: Oh crap! She looks just like Donna!
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Fez: I like my women like I like my wine. Red and full of alcohol.
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Eric: You guys, my dad said I had to have a plan this year, and now I have it. I'm gonna take the year off.
Hyde: Isn't that what Elvis said right before he died on the toilet?
Eric: No, you guys, seriously, look, rich kids do it, right? After high school, they take a year off, go to Europe, figure out what they're gonna do. I'm gonna do exactly that... Just go nowhere and do nothing.
Hyde: So you're gonna be a bum.
Eric: In the grandest European tradition, yes!
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Hyde: Forman, about your year off plan; it's lazy, it's selfish, and it's gonna piss a lot of people off. Good job.
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Eric: Okay, I'm here to earn my dinner. What am I doing about Donna? We're hanging out. What am I doing about my job? I quit. What am I doing about my future? Nothing. When am I moving out? Make me!
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Kitty: You know, I tell you, Red, I don't like this situation with Bob and two women. I have put up with a lot of weird things in this neighborhood; hot-tubs, wife swapping, jogging... Now I am drawing the line!
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Hyde: Fez, give him the m&ms, man.
Fez: Yeah, about that...whose dumb idea was it to let me hold the m&ms?
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Red: Kitty and I think that you should choose between Pam and Midge. And when I say: "Kitty and I", I mean just Kitty.
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Red: I'm not gonna spend the day hiding on the roof like a damn pigeon.
Bob: I got beer.
Red: Well, it is peaceful up here.
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Eric: I found a pair of my sister's panties. I knew they were hers because they had her name and phone number in them.
Hyde: A girl's gotta advertise.
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Bob: Okay, Donna, here's the situation. I have to choose between Pam and Midge, and it's a very personal and intimate decision that only I can make. It's really scary, so I'd like you to do it.
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Fez: Donna, if you only knew what I'd like to do with you and your new hair, you would beat the crap out of me.
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Kelso: When that kid opens his eyes, I want his daddy who loves him to be the first thing he sees. Plus, I don't want him to get switched at birth with one of those babies that doesn't speak English.
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Red: You're supposed to look at me and know that I raised fine young men, even though one of them is at a feminist rally.
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Eric: Women should be able to walk through this park without being afraid. In fact, some day I hope that I can walk through this park without being afraid.
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Fez (answers phone): Mr. Sexy's pizza. Our special today is sexaroni. Well, it's like pepperoni, but sexy.
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Fez: So Kelso has a child. I cannot wait to see the smile on that sweet little face. And I bet the baby's cute, too.
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Kitty: Did my little worker bee find a happy hive?
Red: No. All the jobs had the same problem... a dumbass boss. You know, one guy actually thought that duct tape was called "duck" tape. A security guard had to pull us apart.
Kitty: Oh, honey, you'll find something. You worked at that auto parts plant for so long... did you try looking at auto parts stores?
Red: Well, I'll be, Kitty. And here I spent all morning applying to be an astronaut.
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Red: All right, that's it. We're goin' to the muffler shop. This whole family is gonna learn a little lesson in muffler care today.
Kitty: Well, it's not a trip to Europe, but at least I get out of the house.
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Kelso: Hey, I brought cigars to celebrate.
Hyde: Ooh, sweet.
Jackie: Fun.
Fez: I love cigars.
(in the circle)
Fez: I hate cigars.
Hyde: This is way worse than what we usually do in the circle. It tastes disgusting. It smells rank. It doesn't even make stuff funny. This should be illegal.
Kelso: I hate this. It's like smoking a dirty sock, only easier.
Jackie: I love cigars. I'm good at everything!
Fez: I just threw up a little.
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Donna: Okay. You know I'm digging the new whimsical Eric, but don't you think you could find a prank that isn't highly offensive to women?
Eric: Donna, you're asking me to play tennis without a racket here.
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Kelso: I can't! I respect women now! Listen, what am I gonna do?
Hyde: It's no big deal, man. You can, um, just...never have sex again.
Kelso: With this body? All right, the people would riot in the streets.
Donna: You know, you could engage in a meaningful relationship.
Hyde: Donna, this is no time for your feminist mumbo-jumbo.
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Eric: Yes, he really hates noise. I think it's because it reminds him of fun.
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Fez: The department of motor vehicles is not as glamorous as it sounds. You know what motor vehicles are? They're cars. Just cars.
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Hyde: Yeah, well, you know, metal shop was my favorite class. I went to, like, half of 'em.
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Donna: Well, the last time I was here, they were looking for help. And they have no idea how weird you are.
Fez: That is an advantage. What's the job?
Donna: Shampoo boy.
Fez: Shampoo boy? You mean, I would get paid for touch hair? I used to get in so much trouble for that.
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Hyde: I can't believe I got a job from my dad and from Red. Now I have two jobs. It's like I'm a workaholic. I gotta tell you, that's not the kind of "holic" I thought I'd be.
Kelso: Wow, Hyde, this is really gettin' to you. I mean, look at you you're leaning forward, you got your sunglasses off. You're freakin' out.
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WB: Sure. The job's yours.
Hyde: Cool. When do I start?
WB: How about Monday?
Hyde: Ooh, Mondays are gonna be tough for me. I find I'm fresher if I start my work week on a Tuesday. Say, uh, some time after lunch?
WB: I'll see you Monday at 9.
Hyde: Let's call it 10.
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Donna: Jackie, Jackie, Fez shampooed my hair.
Jackie: And you were able to untie yourself and get away?
Donna: No, Jackie, his hands were amazing. At one point, it was like he had five extra fingers.
Jackie: Well, Donna, he is foreign. He might.
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Red: Steven, everybody goes through the same thing, but the misery that you feel now will eventually be broken up by stretches of time where you will feel that you're happy. Of course, you're not happy. You're just too numb from your hellish life to feel the pain.
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Hyde (in jail): Ah.... This feels good. This feels right.
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Donna: Man, Hyde, first a new dad, now a new sister-- it's like you hit the orphan lottery.
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Kelso: Boy, am I glad you showed up. It's a lot of pressure being the only good-looking one in the room.
Jackie: Michael, that is so rude. You know there's two of us.
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Kelso: You know what your problem is, Hyde? I'm too good-looking.
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Jackie: Who does Angie think she is, anyway? She can't just walk in here and pull your strings like you're some kind of puppet. That's my job.
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Hyde: Jackie, if there was ever a game show called "make that girl cry," I'd go on with you.
Jackie: Oh, we'd so win the car.
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Angie: Really? Did you go to business school?
Donna: Well, he did a lot of business at school.
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Hyde: Perhaps a little Sex Pistols.
Kitty: Sex Pistols? Well, that's terrible. Guns don't belong in the bedroom.
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Red: Steven, the store is great. I'm proud of you.
Hyde: Thank you.
Eric: Whoa, Hyde, I want you to really savor this moment. Red's only nice every 75 years. Yeah. He's kind of like the Halley's comet of compliments. I got one the first time I used the potty and...Yeah, since then, nothing.
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Hyde: Look, in my town, there are two rules. One--don't date Kelso. Two--don't date Kelso.
Eric: Yeah, it even says that on the sign when you drive into town. "Welcome to Point Place. Don't date Kelso."
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Jackie: Okay, the thing is, Angie, Michael's like chocolate cake, Okay? It looks good in the bakery, but when you take it home, it sleeps with all your friends.
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Kelso: Not your type? I'm like ketchup. I go good on everything.
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Kitty: You know, I'm not sure these Sex Pistols are for me. Look, this fella's name is Johnny Rotten. You'd think he'd change that for show business.
Season 1 quotes
Season 2 quotes Part 1 Part 2
Season 3 quotes
Season 4 quotes
Season 5 quotes
Season 6 quotes Part 1 Part 2