Old flames (of the fanfic variety)
Also known as the post in which flamers are surreptiously mocked.
Reviewer: John Wood
Fic: Five Things
Review: Evvy is 11. Pasco is 14. Evvy is paranoid. Pasco may be gay. Neither of them seem intrested in romance. And both Briar and Sandry would stop the teasing. What made you think this is even plausable?
My response: Erm... actually, Evvy is 10, and Pasco is 12 in CO, and this fic is set about 2-3 years post-CO; long exposure to Briar would have made Evvy much less paranoid than she is in CO; there is absolutely no evidence in CO that Pasco is gay; hormones, darling; and Briar and Sandry wouldn't feel the need to interfere unless they thought someone was going to get hurt. If you're going to attack me, then at least have the decency to get your facts right.
Kaysin's (some other random reviewer) response: Oh, and the is aimed at the person who did a negative review: 3 years difference is nothing; Evvy would be less paranoid after being with Briar and Rosethorn; there is never any evidence that Pasco is gay; Briar and Sandry would have found the teasing amusing and would have known it was because they like each other, so they wouldn't have stopped it.
Reviewer: . . .
Fic: Lupines and Lilies
Review: i hate slash
My response: Umm... then why are you reading this?
Reviewer: PersonaJXT
Fic: Wolf and Serpent
Review: Eh, over a year and you only have 19 really short chapters that contain relatively no information. Get someone to help you plot out the story cause you need to work on that. Otherwise a relatively ok story, update soon.
Just for reference, most chapters are about at least 3 times the size of one of yours and the updates come faster.
My response: Okay, so not particularly flame-y, but (*clears throat*) this is not helpful!!!
Reviewer: Manton Phocker
Fic: Two Halves
Review: Puh-lease! Your awful stories just contain too many OCs or other fandoms. No wonder why noone likes them.
My response: Er... *twitches* *spasms* You wrote "puh-lease"! *Points and laughs*
anonymous' (another random reviewer) response: Ignore Manton Phocker he/she doesn't have any taste.
Reviewer: Altariel4
Fic: Something Unpredictable
Review: Makes. No. Sense.
My response: Umm... it's not supposed to.
Reviewer: Monique
Fic: Something Unpredictable
Review: --blink--
I'm not even sure what to say.
This fic had absolutely no substance. And it wasn't funny. And Adonis, sadly, is a Mary-Sue. I'm so sorry.
My response: This one pissed me off more than any of the others, actually. Concrit, much? And, OMG I hate being patronised.
Reviewer: D. Lavisher
Fic: Running Deep
Review: Very Special Indeed.
My response: Umm... WTF? Is that sarcastic? Is it even a flame? What are you talking about? I have no clue. Seriously.
Reviewer: mmhmm
Fic: Now and Then
Review: ick i didn't like this one. it was kind of stupid
My response: If you say so.
Reviewer: Ana
Fic: No Questions Asked
Review: You sure as hell don't know much about monarchies.
Nicholas would still be a Lord and not a prince. Prince Phillip Mountbatten is called Prince Phillip because he's a prince in his own right.
And don't even get me started on the dowager princess thing.
I've never before written a flame but i think you should do some research for all fan fiction.
My response: Actually, Prince Philip is a Duke in his own right, not a prince. Maybe you're the one who should be doing the research.
Reviewer: Taij Zann Rung
Fic: Cage So Small
Review: you know, your disclaimer is nearly as long as your fics...
Could be better written. Needs more feeling
My response: Umm... this is a drabble - it's not supposed to be long. And also, maybe you didn't notice, but it's nothing but emotion.
Reviewer: hanny
Fic: Always
Review: What was that about .I'm soorry i just didn't understand what you where talking about. try harder next time
My response: Er... okay?
Reviewer: EMILY
Fic: A Little Bit of Crazy
Review: I think it sucks sorry but it does and I should know I'm a huge fan of harry potter maybe you could add more detail and emotion to the story as well as more charachters
My response: Umm... we're all big fans of HP, actually, otherwise we wouldn't be here. And also... run-on sentences, no punctuation, no capitalisation, and you spelt "characters" wrong. *Mocks*
adoring's (some other random reviewer) response: No, this doesn't suck. At all. It's VERY well-written and thoughtout. The other person who reviewed has no appreciation for good literature.
Hey, guys, any idea why flamers nearly always post anonymously. And why do all my reviewers feel the need to reassure me, anyway? It's not like I really care, or anything...
Reviewer: John Wood
Fic: Five Things
Review: Evvy is 11. Pasco is 14. Evvy is paranoid. Pasco may be gay. Neither of them seem intrested in romance. And both Briar and Sandry would stop the teasing. What made you think this is even plausable?
My response: Erm... actually, Evvy is 10, and Pasco is 12 in CO, and this fic is set about 2-3 years post-CO; long exposure to Briar would have made Evvy much less paranoid than she is in CO; there is absolutely no evidence in CO that Pasco is gay; hormones, darling; and Briar and Sandry wouldn't feel the need to interfere unless they thought someone was going to get hurt. If you're going to attack me, then at least have the decency to get your facts right.
Kaysin's (some other random reviewer) response: Oh, and the is aimed at the person who did a negative review: 3 years difference is nothing; Evvy would be less paranoid after being with Briar and Rosethorn; there is never any evidence that Pasco is gay; Briar and Sandry would have found the teasing amusing and would have known it was because they like each other, so they wouldn't have stopped it.
Reviewer: . . .
Fic: Lupines and Lilies
Review: i hate slash
My response: Umm... then why are you reading this?
Reviewer: PersonaJXT
Fic: Wolf and Serpent
Review: Eh, over a year and you only have 19 really short chapters that contain relatively no information. Get someone to help you plot out the story cause you need to work on that. Otherwise a relatively ok story, update soon.
Just for reference, most chapters are about at least 3 times the size of one of yours and the updates come faster.
My response: Okay, so not particularly flame-y, but (*clears throat*) this is not helpful!!!
Reviewer: Manton Phocker
Fic: Two Halves
Review: Puh-lease! Your awful stories just contain too many OCs or other fandoms. No wonder why noone likes them.
My response: Er... *twitches* *spasms* You wrote "puh-lease"! *Points and laughs*
anonymous' (another random reviewer) response: Ignore Manton Phocker he/she doesn't have any taste.
Reviewer: Altariel4
Fic: Something Unpredictable
Review: Makes. No. Sense.
My response: Umm... it's not supposed to.
Reviewer: Monique
Fic: Something Unpredictable
Review: --blink--
I'm not even sure what to say.
This fic had absolutely no substance. And it wasn't funny. And Adonis, sadly, is a Mary-Sue. I'm so sorry.
My response: This one pissed me off more than any of the others, actually. Concrit, much? And, OMG I hate being patronised.
Reviewer: D. Lavisher
Fic: Running Deep
Review: Very Special Indeed.
My response: Umm... WTF? Is that sarcastic? Is it even a flame? What are you talking about? I have no clue. Seriously.
Reviewer: mmhmm
Fic: Now and Then
Review: ick i didn't like this one. it was kind of stupid
My response: If you say so.
Reviewer: Ana
Fic: No Questions Asked
Review: You sure as hell don't know much about monarchies.
Nicholas would still be a Lord and not a prince. Prince Phillip Mountbatten is called Prince Phillip because he's a prince in his own right.
And don't even get me started on the dowager princess thing.
I've never before written a flame but i think you should do some research for all fan fiction.
My response: Actually, Prince Philip is a Duke in his own right, not a prince. Maybe you're the one who should be doing the research.
Reviewer: Taij Zann Rung
Fic: Cage So Small
Review: you know, your disclaimer is nearly as long as your fics...
Could be better written. Needs more feeling
My response: Umm... this is a drabble - it's not supposed to be long. And also, maybe you didn't notice, but it's nothing but emotion.
Reviewer: hanny
Fic: Always
Review: What was that about .I'm soorry i just didn't understand what you where talking about. try harder next time
My response: Er... okay?
Reviewer: EMILY
Fic: A Little Bit of Crazy
Review: I think it sucks sorry but it does and I should know I'm a huge fan of harry potter maybe you could add more detail and emotion to the story as well as more charachters
My response: Umm... we're all big fans of HP, actually, otherwise we wouldn't be here. And also... run-on sentences, no punctuation, no capitalisation, and you spelt "characters" wrong. *Mocks*
adoring's (some other random reviewer) response: No, this doesn't suck. At all. It's VERY well-written and thoughtout. The other person who reviewed has no appreciation for good literature.
Hey, guys, any idea why flamers nearly always post anonymously. And why do all my reviewers feel the need to reassure me, anyway? It's not like I really care, or anything...