an average man am i
thursday, friday...
i haven't really felt like myself lately. (i know people say this all the time, and i'm always like... "well then WHO DO YOU FEEL LIKE?") cheeky little tracy. but i've been thinking really dark thoughts and i can't have fun doing things that i usually like. it really sucks, actually. :-(
major room cleaning going on over here. it looks like a war zone. ALL DAY today and like 5 hours yesterday... and i'm still not done. it's terrible. i've gone through almost everything in my room, throwing out trash, organizing, etc. my mom got those flat plastic boxes for under my bed, and i've been putting stuff in them and labeling them. i adjusted the set stations on my radio and all day i periodically switched from power fm to the edge to oldies. then i put in records, beginning with john lennon, then the white album, then my fair lady, then a compilation of different musical numbers. i ate, and ate, and ate and still was unhappy. i think tomorrow i'll go crazy of cabin fever. my mom got home and didn't understand why i wasn't done. does she *realize* how excruciatingly messy my room is?! i think not.
so thats what i did today.
yesterday? well wednesday night jarod brought back RETURN OF THE KING, which we watched the night before... and he brought me an ice cream sandwich! *YAY!* and i had just been crying and i wanted to go to val's and i was like, "I have a really random favor to ask you. I'm so sorry! Do you think you could drop me off at Valerie's house?!" and i felt sooo stupid. but he was cool with it. and he was in MARCHELE'S car! butch bernard! my baby! then me and val were stupid, etc. and fell asleep during ROTK, then tried to finish thursday morning... but it was due at noon so we couldn't get through it. sniff, sniff. aragorn's amazing hotness was always there, though.
so thursday afternoon i begin the stupid room cleaning she-bang. and it continues. mom is at work all day today, and i clean. and clean. and clean.
then this evening me, val, sarah, wreyford, kerry, jenna, and anThONY "played" volleyball (i say "played" because i really didn't play... i am incapable of "playing.") at the church. it was nice, but once again i didn't enjoy it because lately i'm a retard and i don't enjoy much of anything. i just felt really out of place... and these are people that i love, some of them i've known for soooo long, and i felt like they were all having fun and i was all alone being an idiot. yeah, it made me very sad. i guess i'm better at thinking than i am at volleyball! and i'm better alone than i am in a group.
i reeeeally want to get out of this town.
speaking of this, i was talking with my mom about that college in cali that i liked a LOT... and about visiting it this summer... and, surprisingly, she seemed kind of open. maybe she was in a weird mood... but then she launched on the tangent that i'm "not the kind of person who would function well, that far away from home. you're more of the kind to stay in dallad and come home often. i don't think you could handle not being here every weekend." well... I THINK I COULD! and i am me... and the college is really awesome. the guy i met at the college fair was really nice, and when i told him i wanted english or education, he started talking about their newspaper... and their teaching program is really good... and it is sooo pretty... and it feels really right. but i know you really can't decide until you visit the campus. so i'll just keep praying. but i'm excited about it right now.
Movies aren't just entertainment. Movies are magic.
~tib
do you believe in magic?
i haven't really felt like myself lately. (i know people say this all the time, and i'm always like... "well then WHO DO YOU FEEL LIKE?") cheeky little tracy. but i've been thinking really dark thoughts and i can't have fun doing things that i usually like. it really sucks, actually. :-(
major room cleaning going on over here. it looks like a war zone. ALL DAY today and like 5 hours yesterday... and i'm still not done. it's terrible. i've gone through almost everything in my room, throwing out trash, organizing, etc. my mom got those flat plastic boxes for under my bed, and i've been putting stuff in them and labeling them. i adjusted the set stations on my radio and all day i periodically switched from power fm to the edge to oldies. then i put in records, beginning with john lennon, then the white album, then my fair lady, then a compilation of different musical numbers. i ate, and ate, and ate and still was unhappy. i think tomorrow i'll go crazy of cabin fever. my mom got home and didn't understand why i wasn't done. does she *realize* how excruciatingly messy my room is?! i think not.
so thats what i did today.
yesterday? well wednesday night jarod brought back RETURN OF THE KING, which we watched the night before... and he brought me an ice cream sandwich! *YAY!* and i had just been crying and i wanted to go to val's and i was like, "I have a really random favor to ask you. I'm so sorry! Do you think you could drop me off at Valerie's house?!" and i felt sooo stupid. but he was cool with it. and he was in MARCHELE'S car! butch bernard! my baby! then me and val were stupid, etc. and fell asleep during ROTK, then tried to finish thursday morning... but it was due at noon so we couldn't get through it. sniff, sniff. aragorn's amazing hotness was always there, though.
so thursday afternoon i begin the stupid room cleaning she-bang. and it continues. mom is at work all day today, and i clean. and clean. and clean.
then this evening me, val, sarah, wreyford, kerry, jenna, and anThONY "played" volleyball (i say "played" because i really didn't play... i am incapable of "playing.") at the church. it was nice, but once again i didn't enjoy it because lately i'm a retard and i don't enjoy much of anything. i just felt really out of place... and these are people that i love, some of them i've known for soooo long, and i felt like they were all having fun and i was all alone being an idiot. yeah, it made me very sad. i guess i'm better at thinking than i am at volleyball! and i'm better alone than i am in a group.
i reeeeally want to get out of this town.
speaking of this, i was talking with my mom about that college in cali that i liked a LOT... and about visiting it this summer... and, surprisingly, she seemed kind of open. maybe she was in a weird mood... but then she launched on the tangent that i'm "not the kind of person who would function well, that far away from home. you're more of the kind to stay in dallad and come home often. i don't think you could handle not being here every weekend." well... I THINK I COULD! and i am me... and the college is really awesome. the guy i met at the college fair was really nice, and when i told him i wanted english or education, he started talking about their newspaper... and their teaching program is really good... and it is sooo pretty... and it feels really right. but i know you really can't decide until you visit the campus. so i'll just keep praying. but i'm excited about it right now.
Movies aren't just entertainment. Movies are magic.
~tib
do you believe in magic?