Ginko trees and more....
I had a sad dream about JAK last night and the sadness has flowed over into the day. I'm sure it has to do with being in Fort Wayne last weekend. I had a wonderful time. Got to see my dearest pals. We talked and talked. Was able to spend a little time with my beautiful Goddaughter. She really is stunning...silky blond hair, big, round, blue eyes. She is just a delight. She was dressed up in a princess gown, for no particular reason except that it was the outfit of the day. Oh to be able to be so spontaneous...
Mary and Ju and I all went out to SFC for a walk and to see what had changed. It was different and it wasn't. There are more buildings, less open space, but it still smells the same. It really is funny the things that we remember. The glider that JAK and I spent hours on is still by the library. It has been painted, but where the paint is chipping you can see the original, awful color that it was. The ginko tree has gotten twenty years taller. It is so beautiful. The leaves look like these perfect little fans and when it begins to lose its leaves in the fall, they just all fall at once till it's bare. It really is something to see.
They built a beatiful new house for the chaplain. Half of it is his house and the other half is the campus ministry. It really is very nice. I have to admit, they did a good job on that. It has a fireplace and patio...really lovely. The chaplain's house has a yard and a screened porch with fountains in the front yard and the lake in the back. I think I want that job when I begin my second career. I have always loved that place. It is really special. I'm sure I could do a fine job. Ju, however, informed me that I had lost too many of my Catholic beliefs over the years. Perhaps...or perhaps I've just learned enough to actually be of help to others. It would never happen, but it is nice to think about.
JAK and I don't really speak any more. We send the occasional Christmas card and she has gotten so that she will send me pictures of her children that I do not know. It is very sterile, this relationship that we now have. It is funny how things turn out. She never wanted children and has three of them. I always wanted them and have none. She had very close relationships with her grandparents and parents throughout her life. Now, her children rarely see their grandparents because of the geographical distance that her husband put between them. I think that really was his plan all along.
I guess being once again confronted with that time and place, I grieve for the relationship that we once had. I don't think of it often, but ginko trees will do it. Certainly being at SFC brings back floods of memories. She really was the best playmate that I've ever had, even now, she is irreplaceable. Life really does take some interesting turns, just not always for the best.
Mary and Ju and I all went out to SFC for a walk and to see what had changed. It was different and it wasn't. There are more buildings, less open space, but it still smells the same. It really is funny the things that we remember. The glider that JAK and I spent hours on is still by the library. It has been painted, but where the paint is chipping you can see the original, awful color that it was. The ginko tree has gotten twenty years taller. It is so beautiful. The leaves look like these perfect little fans and when it begins to lose its leaves in the fall, they just all fall at once till it's bare. It really is something to see.
They built a beatiful new house for the chaplain. Half of it is his house and the other half is the campus ministry. It really is very nice. I have to admit, they did a good job on that. It has a fireplace and patio...really lovely. The chaplain's house has a yard and a screened porch with fountains in the front yard and the lake in the back. I think I want that job when I begin my second career. I have always loved that place. It is really special. I'm sure I could do a fine job. Ju, however, informed me that I had lost too many of my Catholic beliefs over the years. Perhaps...or perhaps I've just learned enough to actually be of help to others. It would never happen, but it is nice to think about.
JAK and I don't really speak any more. We send the occasional Christmas card and she has gotten so that she will send me pictures of her children that I do not know. It is very sterile, this relationship that we now have. It is funny how things turn out. She never wanted children and has three of them. I always wanted them and have none. She had very close relationships with her grandparents and parents throughout her life. Now, her children rarely see their grandparents because of the geographical distance that her husband put between them. I think that really was his plan all along.
I guess being once again confronted with that time and place, I grieve for the relationship that we once had. I don't think of it often, but ginko trees will do it. Certainly being at SFC brings back floods of memories. She really was the best playmate that I've ever had, even now, she is irreplaceable. Life really does take some interesting turns, just not always for the best.