God Damn, It's November...Holy Shit
1. Sugar Daddy Flaked. I get an email from him about 4 hours before we are to meet. An email. The email stated that he was sorry for canceling our date, but he has no money and he wanted to "treat me well". He went on about supporting his ex in Texas and accounts and other stuff I didn't really understand via the email. I answered him back, stating that I accepted his cancellation and to have a nice life. I wasn't pissed or disappointed, I just thought it was so wierd that he cancelled so soon before our date and only 3 days since we corresponded about meeting. My guess is that he had something else going on in his life; married? Never rich to begin with? crazy? Who knows, I let it go with relief as I really wanted to hang out with Bass Boy anyway. I was caunculating how long I would need to hang out with the Sugar Daddy before I could get in my car and fuck a hot Bass Player in Novato.
2. Speaking of Bass Boy.....FUCK!!! HE IS SO HOT!!! HE IS SOOOOOO HOT! That boy can make me come just by asking me to come over to his house. I get so gushy and horny just knowing I will see him in a few hours. I have never felt so turned on so intensely by anyone else in my life. It's such an unusual dynamic, I can't even explain in words...maybe "we got us some explosive chemistry". I get this crazy rush that lasts for about a day, I am so high by my physical connection to him.
Still not certain about the extent of his unstable soul. I have been giving him Good Earth food, a lot of the free food I get on a daily basis, sInce he normally eats like shit. Think eating good grub will help him on some level. Still have my guard up on a few levels. Though...
I am starting to question my heart, or maybe my heart is starting to question me. I know I feel the "love" of caring deeply for a friend, we fuck with such heart, how can I not care for him? But I am starting to "like" him, too, plus the fucking...shit. Not to worry, my desire to experiment and play and have many lovers will not be hindered in anyway by whatever connection I have with Bass Boy. I asked my friend Katherine, who has quite a few lovers, how she deals with her heart with so many people, how does she not fall in love. She told me that she just "goes there", she falls in love, she opens her heart, knowing it will hurt.Sshe can't help being so intensely involve in them and NOT fall in love.
That's my challenge: Open my heart, but not to give it away.
2. Speaking of Bass Boy.....FUCK!!! HE IS SO HOT!!! HE IS SOOOOOO HOT! That boy can make me come just by asking me to come over to his house. I get so gushy and horny just knowing I will see him in a few hours. I have never felt so turned on so intensely by anyone else in my life. It's such an unusual dynamic, I can't even explain in words...maybe "we got us some explosive chemistry". I get this crazy rush that lasts for about a day, I am so high by my physical connection to him.
Still not certain about the extent of his unstable soul. I have been giving him Good Earth food, a lot of the free food I get on a daily basis, sInce he normally eats like shit. Think eating good grub will help him on some level. Still have my guard up on a few levels. Though...
I am starting to question my heart, or maybe my heart is starting to question me. I know I feel the "love" of caring deeply for a friend, we fuck with such heart, how can I not care for him? But I am starting to "like" him, too, plus the fucking...shit. Not to worry, my desire to experiment and play and have many lovers will not be hindered in anyway by whatever connection I have with Bass Boy. I asked my friend Katherine, who has quite a few lovers, how she deals with her heart with so many people, how does she not fall in love. She told me that she just "goes there", she falls in love, she opens her heart, knowing it will hurt.Sshe can't help being so intensely involve in them and NOT fall in love.
That's my challenge: Open my heart, but not to give it away.