She bites down the cold and hysteric laugh that almost came out as soon as the woman started to talk. It's an alternate, she reminds herself. Even if she doubts the demon this woman was would change that much, it helps the fact that she's basically saying the same first words the queen Selene of this world said to her in this new life.
"I'm sorry to break it to you, woman;" she won't acknowledge her as mother or queen. But she is generous enough to turn and look at her, with cold disdain and hate in her eyes, a cruelly amused smile on her lips; "But I'm from further in time to get that sugar-coated speech of yours. It has all ended here, the Moon kingdom is no more, the few survivors have been forgiven and allowed to live on Earth. The war is over and the ginzuishou showed me the truth. You didn't do anything when I took my life after I killed Sailor Earth, except continue the attack and try to destroy the Earth with the ginzuishou."
"You aren't going to fool me a third time;" she shouldn't have been able to fool her a second time, but death and rebirth were tricky and had her without memories, which allowed the woman to lay her trap. Things are different now, thought.
Usagi, who worries that the people in the nexus expect the princess they know and refuse to acknowledge her as different, must some day acknowledge the alternates of others she meets as different.
Selene, for her part, is baffled.
"When you died, I used the ginzuishou to send you, and the senshi, to be reborn together on Earth along with the prince," she says. "But using the ginzuishou's power like that was the end of my own life, too." She says it without regret. She had died to give her daughter life; a mother knows how to make that sort of sacrifice.
"I am no longer alive," she explains. "What you see are images projected through the memories stored in the auxiliary computer of the Moon Castle."
It's the same dilemma some others have found in the nexus and have yet to learn.
On her part, Usagi is angered by the woman keeping the act. She's almost tempted to call for her sword and end the life of this woman again, she is sure that despite her claims she'll feel as real as the one of this world did when she killed her. But she really isn't in the mood, and it reminds her of the expressions of the other girls... Of the shitennou...
If she gave in now... If she allowed this woman to get her anger to control her again, her hate... How would they look at her once the day came and they found the body? Or would she hide it? Become the worst kind of criminal who hides her crimes to not be judged for them... No, she wouldn't hide it. She can't. She won't.
So she turns around, it's easier to control herself when she's not looking at the other. "If you're trying to keep the act of the fair queen and loving mother to get me out of control, it's not going to work;" why is she doing it anyway? What interest may she have in this world? "You say that you're dead? How funny, you alternate here is dead too. Executed for the crime of trying to take control of the Earth and destroy it." She doesn't say who did it, or how, she won't give more information to her just in case. She doesn't want to think what would have happened if the woman had thought in another way, had feigned to repent and Usagi had used to ginzuishou on her. Would she have been healed and purified? Or would she have turned even more powerful and destroyed the world?
How should she answer? She loves her daughter; there can be no doubt of that. But part of being a mother is correcting their child, too.
"Serenity," Selene says quietly, "You have suffered. But do not let it make you unjust. You will become what you seek to put right. I do not know what has happened in this world, but you must keep your pure heart."
This intolerant girl reminds her of their enemies through the long centuries and millennia, who nursed their hurts and let those hurts turn them towards evil. It does not remind her of the loving heart she instilled in her daughter.
Silence. A long one and then... "It's too late for that. Nothing in me is pure anymore, since the moment I choose to fight for the mother I knew instead of for the senshi that were my friends."
If she were anyone else, those words would make her soften. But being Selene, she already feels Usagi's pain as her own. (And yet... and yet... she can almost hear Serenity refuse to make to choice, look for a different way, find a path where no one would have to be sacrificed.)
"Even that decision was motivated by your love for that mother," she points out. "You are not impure because of a choice you made from love. Even if the choice is a regret."
She didn't want to make a choice. She tried to reach her mother, make her realize that she didn't care if they had privileges or not. That she was friends with the other senshi, even Sailor Earth. That Elysea wouldn't let the Moon to be treated badly or would try to conquer it.
She failed. The war broke out and she found herself in the middle of the battle ground, sword in hand and not knowing what to fight for. What to do. How to fix that. Then she saw Elysea and the shitennou, and all she could think of was how this would have never happened if there had been no Sailor Earth or Sailor Moon.
"My hands are covered with blood. No choice made from love should lead to that... I should have never made a choice. I should have taken Elysea and run away instead of killing us both, it served for nothing after all;" though she knows that running away would have fixed nothing. When? When would she have been able to find a solution and fix things? Prevent the disaster from happening? How far in time would she have to go to stop all that? To find the right choice to make?
"If I had just killed myself the queen would have used that to fuel the Moon hate towards the Earth. If I had killed just Elysea I wouldn't have been able to live without her and it would have just fueled the Earth's resistance. If I killed no one the war would just have ended with one kingdom annihilated... Nothing I would have chosen would have kept me pure, there was no right choice." Why is she telling those things to this woman? To that face? Maybe because since she hates her she doesn't care what the other thinks or tries. Or maybe she's not really telling her, just talking alone, while the other happens to be there listening.
Selene is that person Usagi has been searching for, who will allow her to be herself and who will not judge. Saddest of all, for Selene, is that Usagi has lost her faith. She has lost her faith in herself.
"Terrible things have happened," she agrees, because that much is true, no matter the details. "But the tumult in your heart is what prevents healing from taking place. Even the power of the ginzuishou is helpless if your heart wavers."
"I know that. I know the ginzuishou's power depends on my heart and that it can grant salvation or destruction based in that. That's why I handed it to Elysea, even if it's powerless it's more safe in her hands than in mine."
It's true that the ginzuishou broke when the queen tried to use it to destroy the Earth. But did it broke because of her intentions or because of the evil in her heart? Saturn said Usagi could destroy the world if she wished with the power of the ginzuishou, so it couldn't be because of her intentions. She doesn't want the ginzuishou to react to one of her emotions and cause another disaster.
It's the princess' rash heart that let the ginzuishou cause destruction in so many of the worlds where it did. There's a Mercury who, in her better moments, hopes for a chance to plead with the Queen not to let the princess have it in her hands until much, much later - when she is mature enough for it and there is no chance of that unintentional panic.
That Mercury has Kunzite's support, but... The Moon dynasty has always been proud, even at its best; they will likely not approve of the Earth making a request related to one of the Moon's relics. Mercury has little hope of success. She is taking the chance, or rather hopes to take the chance, only for Kunzite's sake and that world's sake.
Indeed, the Selene in front of Usagi dislikes the thought of the ginzuishou in the hands of 'Elysea', too. No one but the heiress of the Moon Kingdom should have it in their possession, ever. And yet... This Usagi's heart may not be ready for it. If the seal on it has broken prematurely, perhaps it is better out of her hands until she is ready.
So Selene does not condemn it, although she dislikes it. She gives a slow, thoughtful nod.
"When the time is right, you will make it shine with the brightest light of all," she predicts. "You are the heiress of our Silver Millenium, however your world has developed."
Selene does good in not condemning Usagi's decision about the ginzuishou, it's probably the only decision she still doesn't reject and in which she has complete faith. Still, she doesn't like that 'when the time is right', neither the bit about the 'brightest light', no light should be brighter than Elysea's, similar or less but not more.
"I know, no one would let me forget it even if I wanted to;" she says, thought there's no relief in her voice. Instead it sounds even more stressed than before. She's the Moon princess. The traitor, the demon, the time bomb who will bring destruction to the world. She knows how the chant goes, the empty headed princess with uncontrolled emotions who is selfish and must be the center of everything. Not even if she died she would get away from that, she is starting to come into terms with that knowledge.
"I'll use the ginzuishou when it's needed and there's no other option, not before. The ginzuishou isn't something that should be used for frivolous things if it can be avoided;" she says. Of course, she could use the ginzuishou, she could go to the future with it and use it. Rebuild the Earth, revive the people killed in the war. And then? If the enemy isn't defeated it won't serve of anything. And even when the war is ended, it's questionable if it would be a good idea to use the ginzuishou, true, many died, but death is part of life, buildings can be rebuilt, new people can be born.
She doesn't want to become dependent of the ginzuishou, or to use it as the easy solution to solve her problems. She knows she could use the ginzuishou and show the other girls her side of the story, even if it wouldn't make them forgive her it would make them be able to know the complete story. But she won't, it would be frivolous to use it for that, and selfish.
The Black Moon would highly approve of letting a world develop without dependence on the ginzuishou.
As for Selene, she also nods. She has used the ginzuishou without hesitation, for the sake of the Moon Kingdom and Earth and her world, but she understands that in the reincarnated world, it carries a heavier burden.
"You will know when that time is," she promises Usagi.
She hopes it will never come. She sees the ginzuishou as a tool that provides miracles, but miracles should be rare. Dependency on it won't bring any good except a repeat of mistakes of the past. It was the ginzuishou's power that made Sailor Moon so important, that made the senshi system shift to her as its center while Sailor Earth was missing.
It's something she wishes she could destroy at times, something she prays will never be destroyed. But it shouldn't matter, she doesn't plan on having children, there won't be any more moon children to use it. Sooner or later it will become nothing but a crystal without power. And she's sure the world will keep going on with it on it and be fine.
Usagi doesn't reply, she doesn't want to think more about the ginzuishou. She's not there for it. "I have more important things to worry about than when I'll use the ginzuishou if I ever will."
Again that feeling of distance between them, of things gone more wrong than she could ever have imagined. If she could have lived, if she could have lived and taught Serenity these things in this life, would it have been different? To judge from Serenity's story, no.
"There is nothing more important than the safety of the planet," she reproves Usagi. "If you know nothing else of our life and our world, you must come to understand that."
"It's the safety of my planet what I'm worried with, the safety of Earth and its people;" not of the Moon. The Moon is dead and it will remain dead for all she cares about it. The survivors are happy on Earth now, there are still wounds but they will heal with time.
She doesn't find ironic that this woman is talking about 'safety of the planet', after all, for a long time she claimed that what they were doing was to help the planet, save the world. So far she hasn't said a thing that the one she knew wouldn't say. She even nudges her about the ginzuishou and about the time in which she will use it. Still she says nothing about it, let the woman talk, if all she can do is repeat what she heard in the one she called mother once then there's nothing wrong with letting her talk or listen to her.
There is one other thing Selene has said to her daughter, but this daughter may not have heard it from her before. It is the ultimate sacrifice, perhaps even more than the sacrifice of Selene's own life.
"However, do not forget that the purpose of your reincarnation is also to live that normal life as Tsukino Usagi. Your future is in your own hands."
Luna had always assumed the Moon Kingdom would be restored once the princess was able to use the ginzuishou. Selene knows better. Usagi's life is also with the people she calls her friends and family in this life, on Earth.
"I'm sorry to break it to you, woman;" she won't acknowledge her as mother or queen. But she is generous enough to turn and look at her, with cold disdain and hate in her eyes, a cruelly amused smile on her lips; "But I'm from further in time to get that sugar-coated speech of yours. It has all ended here, the Moon kingdom is no more, the few survivors have been forgiven and allowed to live on Earth. The war is over and the ginzuishou showed me the truth. You didn't do anything when I took my life after I killed Sailor Earth, except continue the attack and try to destroy the Earth with the ginzuishou."
"You aren't going to fool me a third time;" she shouldn't have been able to fool her a second time, but death and rebirth were tricky and had her without memories, which allowed the woman to lay her trap. Things are different now, thought.
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Selene, for her part, is baffled.
"When you died, I used the ginzuishou to send you, and the senshi, to be reborn together on Earth along with the prince," she says. "But using the ginzuishou's power like that was the end of my own life, too." She says it without regret. She had died to give her daughter life; a mother knows how to make that sort of sacrifice.
"I am no longer alive," she explains. "What you see are images projected through the memories stored in the auxiliary computer of the Moon Castle."
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On her part, Usagi is angered by the woman keeping the act. She's almost tempted to call for her sword and end the life of this woman again, she is sure that despite her claims she'll feel as real as the one of this world did when she killed her. But she really isn't in the mood, and it reminds her of the expressions of the other girls... Of the shitennou...
If she gave in now... If she allowed this woman to get her anger to control her again, her hate... How would they look at her once the day came and they found the body? Or would she hide it? Become the worst kind of criminal who hides her crimes to not be judged for them... No, she wouldn't hide it. She can't. She won't.
So she turns around, it's easier to control herself when she's not looking at the other. "If you're trying to keep the act of the fair queen and loving mother to get me out of control, it's not going to work;" why is she doing it anyway? What interest may she have in this world? "You say that you're dead? How funny, you alternate here is dead too. Executed for the crime of trying to take control of the Earth and destroy it." She doesn't say who did it, or how, she won't give more information to her just in case. She doesn't want to think what would have happened if the woman had thought in another way, had feigned to repent and Usagi had used to ginzuishou on her. Would she have been healed and purified? Or would she have turned even more powerful and destroyed the world?
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"Serenity," Selene says quietly, "You have suffered. But do not let it make you unjust. You will become what you seek to put right. I do not know what has happened in this world, but you must keep your pure heart."
This intolerant girl reminds her of their enemies through the long centuries and millennia, who nursed their hurts and let those hurts turn them towards evil. It does not remind her of the loving heart she instilled in her daughter.
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"Even that decision was motivated by your love for that mother," she points out. "You are not impure because of a choice you made from love. Even if the choice is a regret."
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She failed. The war broke out and she found herself in the middle of the battle ground, sword in hand and not knowing what to fight for. What to do. How to fix that. Then she saw Elysea and the shitennou, and all she could think of was how this would have never happened if there had been no Sailor Earth or Sailor Moon.
"My hands are covered with blood. No choice made from love should lead to that... I should have never made a choice. I should have taken Elysea and run away instead of killing us both, it served for nothing after all;" though she knows that running away would have fixed nothing. When? When would she have been able to find a solution and fix things? Prevent the disaster from happening? How far in time would she have to go to stop all that? To find the right choice to make?
"If I had just killed myself the queen would have used that to fuel the Moon hate towards the Earth. If I had killed just Elysea I wouldn't have been able to live without her and it would have just fueled the Earth's resistance. If I killed no one the war would just have ended with one kingdom annihilated... Nothing I would have chosen would have kept me pure, there was no right choice." Why is she telling those things to this woman? To that face? Maybe because since she hates her she doesn't care what the other thinks or tries. Or maybe she's not really telling her, just talking alone, while the other happens to be there listening.
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"Terrible things have happened," she agrees, because that much is true, no matter the details. "But the tumult in your heart is what prevents healing from taking place. Even the power of the ginzuishou is helpless if your heart wavers."
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It's true that the ginzuishou broke when the queen tried to use it to destroy the Earth. But did it broke because of her intentions or because of the evil in her heart? Saturn said Usagi could destroy the world if she wished with the power of the ginzuishou, so it couldn't be because of her intentions. She doesn't want the ginzuishou to react to one of her emotions and cause another disaster.
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That Mercury has Kunzite's support, but... The Moon dynasty has always been proud, even at its best; they will likely not approve of the Earth making a request related to one of the Moon's relics. Mercury has little hope of success. She is taking the chance, or rather hopes to take the chance, only for Kunzite's sake and that world's sake.
Indeed, the Selene in front of Usagi dislikes the thought of the ginzuishou in the hands of 'Elysea', too. No one but the heiress of the Moon Kingdom should have it in their possession, ever. And yet... This Usagi's heart may not be ready for it. If the seal on it has broken prematurely, perhaps it is better out of her hands until she is ready.
So Selene does not condemn it, although she dislikes it. She gives a slow, thoughtful nod.
"When the time is right, you will make it shine with the brightest light of all," she predicts. "You are the heiress of our Silver Millenium, however your world has developed."
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"I know, no one would let me forget it even if I wanted to;" she says, thought there's no relief in her voice. Instead it sounds even more stressed than before. She's the Moon princess. The traitor, the demon, the time bomb who will bring destruction to the world. She knows how the chant goes, the empty headed princess with uncontrolled emotions who is selfish and must be the center of everything. Not even if she died she would get away from that, she is starting to come into terms with that knowledge.
"I'll use the ginzuishou when it's needed and there's no other option, not before. The ginzuishou isn't something that should be used for frivolous things if it can be avoided;" she says. Of course, she could use the ginzuishou, she could go to the future with it and use it. Rebuild the Earth, revive the people killed in the war. And then? If the enemy isn't defeated it won't serve of anything. And even when the war is ended, it's questionable if it would be a good idea to use the ginzuishou, true, many died, but death is part of life, buildings can be rebuilt, new people can be born.
She doesn't want to become dependent of the ginzuishou, or to use it as the easy solution to solve her problems. She knows she could use the ginzuishou and show the other girls her side of the story, even if it wouldn't make them forgive her it would make them be able to know the complete story. But she won't, it would be frivolous to use it for that, and selfish.
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As for Selene, she also nods. She has used the ginzuishou without hesitation, for the sake of the Moon Kingdom and Earth and her world, but she understands that in the reincarnated world, it carries a heavier burden.
"You will know when that time is," she promises Usagi.
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It's something she wishes she could destroy at times, something she prays will never be destroyed. But it shouldn't matter, she doesn't plan on having children, there won't be any more moon children to use it. Sooner or later it will become nothing but a crystal without power. And she's sure the world will keep going on with it on it and be fine.
Usagi doesn't reply, she doesn't want to think more about the ginzuishou. She's not there for it. "I have more important things to worry about than when I'll use the ginzuishou if I ever will."
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"There is nothing more important than the safety of the planet," she reproves Usagi. "If you know nothing else of our life and our world, you must come to understand that."
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She doesn't find ironic that this woman is talking about 'safety of the planet', after all, for a long time she claimed that what they were doing was to help the planet, save the world. So far she hasn't said a thing that the one she knew wouldn't say. She even nudges her about the ginzuishou and about the time in which she will use it. Still she says nothing about it, let the woman talk, if all she can do is repeat what she heard in the one she called mother once then there's nothing wrong with letting her talk or listen to her.
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"However, do not forget that the purpose of your reincarnation is also to live that normal life as Tsukino Usagi. Your future is in your own hands."
Luna had always assumed the Moon Kingdom would be restored once the princess was able to use the ginzuishou. Selene knows better. Usagi's life is also with the people she calls her friends and family in this life, on Earth.
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