(no subject)
Annoyed and frustrated.. At Nathan..
He drops a class.. He has a hard time with it but it was also the late night class that gave me two extra nights of alone time that I was craving so I'm ticked even though I know I'm selfish.. I just got so angry at him never letting me be alone last semester.. Evening to myself? Never! Sunday and Saturday night only?! Oh boy!
And the other day he said he'd have the money to pay stuff. Crock of shit if I ever heard one! He has to borrow yet another 50 dollars from me. And I buy all the groceries and if I don't hide something for me, he EATS IT BEFORE I GET TO IT.
Right now, I feel lonely. Insecure? Depressed? No. I want to feel loved and that feeling of any kind of romance but Nathan isn't romantic and I get more romance out of hot older Mexican man from work in the past 3 months than 3 years of living with Nathan.
I'm getting so mad.. And he destroys kitchens just by looking at them and even if "I wanna teach him a lesson" by leaving it alone, he just adds more shit!
I hope if I get medicated and can have normal hormones one day that I hope I don't end up murdering him. He'd rather masturbate to a picture online than try to bang me but I don't blame him for trying. We had sex a week ago and it was REALLY hard to enjoy myself. Like I was shocked by how not turned on I was.
Then again he's sometimes an insensitive prick when it comes to sex. Foreplay? Pfft he doesn't know what that means.
I'm going to bed even though going to bed angry is thought of to be bad. Fuck him.
I swear I'm losing my mind living with him in this small ass apartment now.
He drops a class.. He has a hard time with it but it was also the late night class that gave me two extra nights of alone time that I was craving so I'm ticked even though I know I'm selfish.. I just got so angry at him never letting me be alone last semester.. Evening to myself? Never! Sunday and Saturday night only?! Oh boy!
And the other day he said he'd have the money to pay stuff. Crock of shit if I ever heard one! He has to borrow yet another 50 dollars from me. And I buy all the groceries and if I don't hide something for me, he EATS IT BEFORE I GET TO IT.
Right now, I feel lonely. Insecure? Depressed? No. I want to feel loved and that feeling of any kind of romance but Nathan isn't romantic and I get more romance out of hot older Mexican man from work in the past 3 months than 3 years of living with Nathan.
I'm getting so mad.. And he destroys kitchens just by looking at them and even if "I wanna teach him a lesson" by leaving it alone, he just adds more shit!
I hope if I get medicated and can have normal hormones one day that I hope I don't end up murdering him. He'd rather masturbate to a picture online than try to bang me but I don't blame him for trying. We had sex a week ago and it was REALLY hard to enjoy myself. Like I was shocked by how not turned on I was.
Then again he's sometimes an insensitive prick when it comes to sex. Foreplay? Pfft he doesn't know what that means.
I'm going to bed even though going to bed angry is thought of to be bad. Fuck him.
I swear I'm losing my mind living with him in this small ass apartment now.