(no subject)
Word count: 1,175
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Sometimes, Clementine would wake up in the middle of the night crying out for her mum and dad and Lee would always be stirred awake from how she would sob over the fact that they weren't there.
It wasn't nice to see her cry, so he would always grab her and take her into his arms and cradle her and murmur promises that he more than intended to keep. If he could do anything to make Clementine happy, then he would his risk whole damn life for it.
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Sometimes, Clementine wouldn't want to sleep. Lee more than understood, but she was still young. She was only eight years old and she needed her sleep- unlike everyone else, she couldn't adjust herself to stay up days without resting.
The adults knew well enough that they couldn't rest, so he would always encourage her to rest so that she and Duck would be able to have fun to their fullest while they were both awake.
It was good that she had a friend.
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She would look at Kenny and Katjaa wistfully and would immediately look back to Lee whenever he came by- as if to show that she wasn't missing her parents so badly. Hell, sometimes she would even look at Larry with an odd glint in her eyes that showed she missed her dad a lot.
At times, he thought back to his own family. He missed his ma and pa and his brother. He missed his wife. He missed everyone. He missed listening to ma and pa have a playful squabble, he missed seeing his brother around the place and helping everyone and he missed how his wife used to smile at him and care for him.
But he had lost them all- more so his wife, because he couldn't deny how much he had fucked up.
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Clementine would get more sweet dreams than she would nightmares, something that surprised Lee at first but was then later on relieved by. It was obvious what she would dream about whenever she woke up, looked around and then immediately looked despondent.
She would be dreaming of the better times.
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More often than not, Lee understood. He understood why Kenny acted the way he did. He understood why Larry acted the way he did.
He was slowly filling in the shoes of being a dad for Clementine, but it would never be the same. He hoped that when they find her parents, he would be able to look at her father in the eye and tell him that he tried his best to take care of her.
That was hopeful wishing.
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Lilly and Kenny were arguing again and it was driving him nuts, but he was able to calm down when he saw Clementine and Duck drawing pictures together. He couldn't tell what they were drawing because they were protectively cradling their art, but he could tell when they were finished-
He called out to Kenny, listening to him yell at him before he pointed over to Duck and he calmed down instantaneously when he saw that he had drawn something and he went over to see what it was.
A small voice called out to him and Lee glanced over to Clementine to see what she drew- and he wasn't surprised to see a woman and a man beside a little girl; what he was surprised about, however, was the line separating the three people family to show a little girl with a man beside him.
The world may have gone to shit, but Clementine sometimes helped him forget.
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Larry was gone. He couldn't say anything to Lilly because- Larry was gone. That was that. He may have hated the codger, but he was still Lilly's dad.
Clementine didn't deserve to be witness to that- yet the girl didn't cry or even puke, she was horrified and disgusted but she wasn't crying out or vomiting like he thought she would.
She was growing up too quickly and most times, Lee wished he could take it all back.
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The raid was unexpected and it nearly made Lee's heart stop- he had to protect Clementine; he couldn't let anything happen to her. Couldn't let her fall victim to the raid and when he was able to get her out, safe and sound, and into the RV, his heart finally calmed down.
But it didn't matter, for the next series of events caused his heart to beat faster and a lump to force itself into his throat.
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The hardest thing he had ever done was shoot Duck. Katjaa had killed herself and he guessed it was because she couldn't do it, not any more, and Kenny was breaking down; he was panicking and Lee couldn't just stand there and do nothing.
He had to force his own panic away, he had to try and be calm and he had to try and do this for his friend. It was hardest thing that Lee had ever done and he hoped, he sincerely hoped, that he would never have to do this for Clementine-
And that Clementine would never have to do this herself.
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When he had found out that it was Ben, he felt burning hot rage. He was angry and he wanted to pound his face in, but he couldn't bring himself to do it- all he could tell Ben was to keep it together with harsh words and try not to go overboard.
All he could do was be harsh to Ben, because what happened has happened and there isn't anything that Lee nor Ben could do to fix it.
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The anger that Chuck had inadvertently sparked up immediately died down when he made it over to Clementine and realised that he was right. What if he wasn't there to take care of Clementine? What if he died? He couldn't protect her always, so he had to do something about it.
She was understandably upset when Lee cut her hair and he had managed to soothe her while they were talking- but the face that she made when she fired the gun was something that Lee never wanted to see again.
It looked as if she were about to cry.
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Christa and Omid were nice folks and Clementine had immediately taken a liking to Omid. He was joyful about that, at least. They were good people and the way that they both cared for Clementine almost immediately made him relieved.
They would make better parents than Lee ever would make a good single one.
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Though it rarely happened, Lee would sit down at times and just... think.
Think over everything that happened. Think about all the things that had happened. Think about how everyone was dying.
If it wasn't for the people around him, he was sure that suicide was a more than viable option.
He couldn't leave them behind- not until his life was forcibly ripped away from him.
He wasn't going to leave them behind.