Fic: "Fast as I Can" (18/20 J/Z AU)
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten | Part Eleven | Part Twelve | Part Thirteen | Part Fourteen | Part Fifteen | Part Sixteen | Part Seventeen
x-x-x
Day 407
The first time Zekk pushed a fully equipped ship into hyperspace, his stomach rolled over and he was very nearly sick. Jaina, on the other hand, burst out laughing. “You should see your face. Aren’t you glad we went before lunch?”
“I can’t move,” he groaned.
“Good thing I’m here, then; you don’t want to be drunk for the first five minutes after lightspeed.” Zekk could hear Jaina typing, pulling levers, and pushing buttons. He could feel the echoes against his aching head. “Now’s the time to double-check your arrival coordinates, stabilize the engines, gear down your power output… Your face is really green. You sure you’ve reached lightspeed before?”
“Well, I didn’t walk from Ennth.”
“I think it’s easier when you’re a kid,” Jaina said. “Look, just don’t hurl on anything important. Kyp will kill me if something happens to his ship. He can be such a drama queen. Um, here, I’ll go get a wet cloth.”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Which is male ego for…?”
“It’s getting better. I think.” He could move again, and slowly unbuckled his crash webbing.
“I didn’t think it’d hit you this bad,” she said, flipping more switches. “I practically grew up in space. Plus, I’ve been piloting since I was six.”
“You mean crashing since you were six,” he said on reflex.
“That was on my own with the Falcon. But my dad let me co-pilot even before that. He taught me everything I know. But I thought you’d better have some help, your first go ‘round in a normal ship. More buttons, more spread out, than Ewok or an X-wing. You’ll get used to it.”
“As long as I remember,” he muttered, studying the wide console.
“You’ll learn quickly,” Jaina said, absently. It didn’t sound exactly, or only, like praise, but she didn’t elaborate. “You okay now? Don’t lie to a Jedi, either.”
“Yeah, but it isn’t that bad every time, is it?”
“Can you imagine?” Jaina’s grin was disconcertingly wild. He imagined that not even constant space sickness would keep her away from the stars. “But no, it won’t be even half as bad next time for you, and soon you’ll barely notice it. I just thought you’d better have your first go with a friend.”
“I’m not likely to fly in front of anyone else anytime soon,” he pointed out.
Jaina ignored him. “We’ll be in hyperspace for about half an hour before we’ve looped back to our origin spot. Not even long enough for you to get cabin fever.” She leaned back in the co-pilot’s seat, and put her boots up on the console. At his look, she shrugged. “Don’t tell Kyp; he’ll just think they’re his dainty footprints.”
Zekk pshawed. “There is nothing dainty about you. Only very, very tiny. Midget-like.” Zekk put his own feet up. “Mine are more camouflaged.”
“Into the woodwork.” Jaina was staring out the viewport, into the blackness. “Have you ever thought…You know, you can fly now.”
He shrugged, but suspected that his grin was more gleeful than nonchalant. “I still have plenty to learn.”
Jaina was absentmindedly picking at one of her nails. “You could work a couple years as a co-pilot - you know more than enough for that.”
Oddly the knot of tension in his gut was not nearly as tight as it had been on previous occasions when he had spoken about the future. This was with Jaina, not any of the other people with whom he had talked. “Maybe. Of course, I have a job.”
Jaina turned to look at him. She wore an expression that she usually tried to conceal, probably to protect fragile male egos. It always made Zekk think that she was reading him, sifting through the clues of what he had not said, the ones she could understand only as both a friend and a Jedi. Zekk didn’t meet her eyes, prepared only to see her at the corner of his vision. “Well,” she finally said. “You could quit.”
He thought of the résumé typed on his datapad, a file unopened in years, with his very short list of official occupations. Quit. Dozens of times he had scanned job postings for anything more than a diner, and always his gut clenched and twisted, and the rent was due, and he thought of Peckhum. Peckhum, to whom he owed everything, whose hair was long since grey, whose hands shook more than sometimes. Dozens of times, he had closed the window of options, and felt something very much like relief.
He hoped, too late, that Jaina would not see that part. When he looked at her, her hands were fists, and her jaw tight.
“I’ve thought about it,” he conceded. “But there are - reasons to stay.” It felt more genuine than other times he had tried to convince himself. He stared at his boots, more worn by far than Jaina’s, which were visibly her default footwear as well as her oldest pair.
“It wouldn’t be as if you just left one day and never came back.” Jaina paused. She was probably biting her lip as she considered her next words. “I fly all around the galaxy on missions for both the Rogues and the Jedi, and I still make it to the Flash once a week. Peckhum manages it, too, doesn’t he? As a cargo shipper - he’s gone sometimes, comes back and recharges, then heads out again. It’s something. And - if you co-piloted - then someday you could even…save up for your own ship, maybe even get a crew of your own someday.”
“I haven’t been flying nearly as long as you have,” he said, using his voice to inject a bit more of their usual teasing. “I don’t need it like you do.”
Jaina scowled. He had said the wrong thing. “It’s not about flying,” she muttered peevishly.
He cut her off before they could get into the argument she wanted. “Look, it doesn’t really matter. I can’t pilot anything until I learn how to take us out of hyperspace without hitting something, and you didn’t go over it very well.”
Jaina’s feet dropped to the floor with a frustrated thump. “I went over it fine, and we’re still talking.”
“Later. You did the calculations too fast, too. I’m not sure I trust them.”
“Zekk - ”
“No, later.” Of course, he didn’t plan on there being a later. His gut couldn’t deal with hyperspace sickness and a talk about the future. “And then we can talk about you, first.”
Jaina rolled her eyes, but seemed at least somewhat distracted from his potential. “I don’t want to talk about the future. I’m a Jedi, and I’m a pilot, and I’ll be both until I die. Other than that…” She shrugged irritably.
“Do you think you’ll ever…I’m trying to think of a more you-appropriate term than ‘settle down.’”
To his surprise, Jaina did not laugh or pull away. Instead, her hands twisted in her lap, then smoothed down to her knees. She looked the least confident he had ever seen her - a Jaina Solo who had misplaced her brash persona. “I don’t know.” She resumed action as quickly as she had come to a still. “I thought - I’m a Jedi, and I’m a pilot, and neither has a spectacular life expectancy, never mind when mixed with being a Solo-Skywalker. And even if I survive long enough to - to fall in love, and marry, and have kids - I just think, what kind of other could I even be? My mom was a senator, ambassador, and the Chief of State. I mean, the galaxy’s more important than a couple of kids - that goes without saying. But I saw far more of my hold-parents than I did of my mom, and I’m no more a housewife than she is - even less, probably.” She straightened, and her face set. “Anyway, I’ll probably die young. My brothers can worry about the Solo legacy.”
He was staring at her, and couldn’t stop.
She glanced up at him, then grimaced. “You’re right, no more future drama. We should be just about ready to exit hyperspace, so how about we review the procedures - and don’t worry about my calculations, because they’re perfect.”
“Jaina…”
“Your turn next, Zekk. Wanna talk about the future?”
He wasn’t half as sick on the way back to the landing bay, and Jaina leaned back in her chair and refused to touch the console the rest of the way. “You’ll be fine,” she said, inspecting her multi-tool. “Stop bugging me.” Still, he saw her watching out of the corner of her eye, ready to steady a hand or stabilize any nerve-induced errors. She looked completely confident; it was infectious.
“You’re doing great,” she told him when they finally landed. It was the first time she had said it out loud, to him. “I’ll sit in the cabin next time. I could use a few extra hours of sleep.”
The compliment bolstered him into daring. “Is there anything at all you see in your future, besides the Jedi and the stars?”
Jaina grinned at him, the lingering vulnerability stored once again behind her eyes. “I have to fly this back to Kyp. Do you need a ride back to your place?”
He glanced at his chrono, but as a rule he kept the fifth day clear. “We’re near Peckhum’s, so I’ll just walk over there.”
“I’ll see you next week, then.”
He didn’t consider the weight of her words until later.
x-x-x
Day 413
Mique hid the datasheet under the counter as soon as Zekk walked into the Flash. The dark-skinned man looked uncomfortable. “Hey, man, have you talked to your girl lately?”
Zekk eyed the counter. “She’s coming by tomorrow.”
“Yeah, but have you talked to her?”
“About what?” It clicked. Zekk grinned. “What are the tabloids saying now?”
“It’s the City Planet.”
“There’s no such thing as a reliable gossip column.”
“But there’s a reliable starting point, and you dragging things on too long.”
Zekk rolled his eyes. “Look, just let me see it, then.”
Mique scowled, and tossed the data sheet onto the counter. “There’s patience, and then there’s laziness, and the Planet is giving you a big old road sign.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Zekk said, and then read the headline.
x-x-x
Part Nineteen
-
OMFG, YOU GUYS, THE NEXT POST.
Um, I mean. Just two posts left! This story turned out quite a bit longer than I expected when I started it--I was planning, um, twelve parts, maybe? Although the chapters are usually very short, so it's still under 100 pages (of course, that's Dejarik, haha).
Next post is enormous (this fic-standards), so it might be a few days late--unless I get halfway through my paper, and feel the need for reassurance. Long-time moonlightrick readers know how much I love to do anything but my papers the night before they're due :P
Anyway! Reviews are always, always love and food and all that. Also, enjoy :D
x-x-x
Day 407
The first time Zekk pushed a fully equipped ship into hyperspace, his stomach rolled over and he was very nearly sick. Jaina, on the other hand, burst out laughing. “You should see your face. Aren’t you glad we went before lunch?”
“I can’t move,” he groaned.
“Good thing I’m here, then; you don’t want to be drunk for the first five minutes after lightspeed.” Zekk could hear Jaina typing, pulling levers, and pushing buttons. He could feel the echoes against his aching head. “Now’s the time to double-check your arrival coordinates, stabilize the engines, gear down your power output… Your face is really green. You sure you’ve reached lightspeed before?”
“Well, I didn’t walk from Ennth.”
“I think it’s easier when you’re a kid,” Jaina said. “Look, just don’t hurl on anything important. Kyp will kill me if something happens to his ship. He can be such a drama queen. Um, here, I’ll go get a wet cloth.”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Which is male ego for…?”
“It’s getting better. I think.” He could move again, and slowly unbuckled his crash webbing.
“I didn’t think it’d hit you this bad,” she said, flipping more switches. “I practically grew up in space. Plus, I’ve been piloting since I was six.”
“You mean crashing since you were six,” he said on reflex.
“That was on my own with the Falcon. But my dad let me co-pilot even before that. He taught me everything I know. But I thought you’d better have some help, your first go ‘round in a normal ship. More buttons, more spread out, than Ewok or an X-wing. You’ll get used to it.”
“As long as I remember,” he muttered, studying the wide console.
“You’ll learn quickly,” Jaina said, absently. It didn’t sound exactly, or only, like praise, but she didn’t elaborate. “You okay now? Don’t lie to a Jedi, either.”
“Yeah, but it isn’t that bad every time, is it?”
“Can you imagine?” Jaina’s grin was disconcertingly wild. He imagined that not even constant space sickness would keep her away from the stars. “But no, it won’t be even half as bad next time for you, and soon you’ll barely notice it. I just thought you’d better have your first go with a friend.”
“I’m not likely to fly in front of anyone else anytime soon,” he pointed out.
Jaina ignored him. “We’ll be in hyperspace for about half an hour before we’ve looped back to our origin spot. Not even long enough for you to get cabin fever.” She leaned back in the co-pilot’s seat, and put her boots up on the console. At his look, she shrugged. “Don’t tell Kyp; he’ll just think they’re his dainty footprints.”
Zekk pshawed. “There is nothing dainty about you. Only very, very tiny. Midget-like.” Zekk put his own feet up. “Mine are more camouflaged.”
“Into the woodwork.” Jaina was staring out the viewport, into the blackness. “Have you ever thought…You know, you can fly now.”
He shrugged, but suspected that his grin was more gleeful than nonchalant. “I still have plenty to learn.”
Jaina was absentmindedly picking at one of her nails. “You could work a couple years as a co-pilot - you know more than enough for that.”
Oddly the knot of tension in his gut was not nearly as tight as it had been on previous occasions when he had spoken about the future. This was with Jaina, not any of the other people with whom he had talked. “Maybe. Of course, I have a job.”
Jaina turned to look at him. She wore an expression that she usually tried to conceal, probably to protect fragile male egos. It always made Zekk think that she was reading him, sifting through the clues of what he had not said, the ones she could understand only as both a friend and a Jedi. Zekk didn’t meet her eyes, prepared only to see her at the corner of his vision. “Well,” she finally said. “You could quit.”
He thought of the résumé typed on his datapad, a file unopened in years, with his very short list of official occupations. Quit. Dozens of times he had scanned job postings for anything more than a diner, and always his gut clenched and twisted, and the rent was due, and he thought of Peckhum. Peckhum, to whom he owed everything, whose hair was long since grey, whose hands shook more than sometimes. Dozens of times, he had closed the window of options, and felt something very much like relief.
He hoped, too late, that Jaina would not see that part. When he looked at her, her hands were fists, and her jaw tight.
“I’ve thought about it,” he conceded. “But there are - reasons to stay.” It felt more genuine than other times he had tried to convince himself. He stared at his boots, more worn by far than Jaina’s, which were visibly her default footwear as well as her oldest pair.
“It wouldn’t be as if you just left one day and never came back.” Jaina paused. She was probably biting her lip as she considered her next words. “I fly all around the galaxy on missions for both the Rogues and the Jedi, and I still make it to the Flash once a week. Peckhum manages it, too, doesn’t he? As a cargo shipper - he’s gone sometimes, comes back and recharges, then heads out again. It’s something. And - if you co-piloted - then someday you could even…save up for your own ship, maybe even get a crew of your own someday.”
“I haven’t been flying nearly as long as you have,” he said, using his voice to inject a bit more of their usual teasing. “I don’t need it like you do.”
Jaina scowled. He had said the wrong thing. “It’s not about flying,” she muttered peevishly.
He cut her off before they could get into the argument she wanted. “Look, it doesn’t really matter. I can’t pilot anything until I learn how to take us out of hyperspace without hitting something, and you didn’t go over it very well.”
Jaina’s feet dropped to the floor with a frustrated thump. “I went over it fine, and we’re still talking.”
“Later. You did the calculations too fast, too. I’m not sure I trust them.”
“Zekk - ”
“No, later.” Of course, he didn’t plan on there being a later. His gut couldn’t deal with hyperspace sickness and a talk about the future. “And then we can talk about you, first.”
Jaina rolled her eyes, but seemed at least somewhat distracted from his potential. “I don’t want to talk about the future. I’m a Jedi, and I’m a pilot, and I’ll be both until I die. Other than that…” She shrugged irritably.
“Do you think you’ll ever…I’m trying to think of a more you-appropriate term than ‘settle down.’”
To his surprise, Jaina did not laugh or pull away. Instead, her hands twisted in her lap, then smoothed down to her knees. She looked the least confident he had ever seen her - a Jaina Solo who had misplaced her brash persona. “I don’t know.” She resumed action as quickly as she had come to a still. “I thought - I’m a Jedi, and I’m a pilot, and neither has a spectacular life expectancy, never mind when mixed with being a Solo-Skywalker. And even if I survive long enough to - to fall in love, and marry, and have kids - I just think, what kind of other could I even be? My mom was a senator, ambassador, and the Chief of State. I mean, the galaxy’s more important than a couple of kids - that goes without saying. But I saw far more of my hold-parents than I did of my mom, and I’m no more a housewife than she is - even less, probably.” She straightened, and her face set. “Anyway, I’ll probably die young. My brothers can worry about the Solo legacy.”
He was staring at her, and couldn’t stop.
She glanced up at him, then grimaced. “You’re right, no more future drama. We should be just about ready to exit hyperspace, so how about we review the procedures - and don’t worry about my calculations, because they’re perfect.”
“Jaina…”
“Your turn next, Zekk. Wanna talk about the future?”
He wasn’t half as sick on the way back to the landing bay, and Jaina leaned back in her chair and refused to touch the console the rest of the way. “You’ll be fine,” she said, inspecting her multi-tool. “Stop bugging me.” Still, he saw her watching out of the corner of her eye, ready to steady a hand or stabilize any nerve-induced errors. She looked completely confident; it was infectious.
“You’re doing great,” she told him when they finally landed. It was the first time she had said it out loud, to him. “I’ll sit in the cabin next time. I could use a few extra hours of sleep.”
The compliment bolstered him into daring. “Is there anything at all you see in your future, besides the Jedi and the stars?”
Jaina grinned at him, the lingering vulnerability stored once again behind her eyes. “I have to fly this back to Kyp. Do you need a ride back to your place?”
He glanced at his chrono, but as a rule he kept the fifth day clear. “We’re near Peckhum’s, so I’ll just walk over there.”
“I’ll see you next week, then.”
He didn’t consider the weight of her words until later.
x-x-x
Day 413
Mique hid the datasheet under the counter as soon as Zekk walked into the Flash. The dark-skinned man looked uncomfortable. “Hey, man, have you talked to your girl lately?”
Zekk eyed the counter. “She’s coming by tomorrow.”
“Yeah, but have you talked to her?”
“About what?” It clicked. Zekk grinned. “What are the tabloids saying now?”
“It’s the City Planet.”
“There’s no such thing as a reliable gossip column.”
“But there’s a reliable starting point, and you dragging things on too long.”
Zekk rolled his eyes. “Look, just let me see it, then.”
Mique scowled, and tossed the data sheet onto the counter. “There’s patience, and then there’s laziness, and the Planet is giving you a big old road sign.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Zekk said, and then read the headline.
x-x-x
Part Nineteen
-
OMFG, YOU GUYS, THE NEXT POST.
Um, I mean. Just two posts left! This story turned out quite a bit longer than I expected when I started it--I was planning, um, twelve parts, maybe? Although the chapters are usually very short, so it's still under 100 pages (of course, that's Dejarik, haha).
Next post is enormous (this fic-standards), so it might be a few days late--unless I get halfway through my paper, and feel the need for reassurance. Long-time moonlightrick readers know how much I love to do anything but my papers the night before they're due :P
Anyway! Reviews are always, always love and food and all that. Also, enjoy :D