Trying Again
So, is this going to be the year I can actually keep a journal?!
I am not optimistic! But I am going to proceed with writing this entry as though it is.
It's 2025!
In ten days I'm going to be 38!
Quite a lot has happened since 2020. Barring any world events...
I met my wife, then a year later got married to her. I'll be married 2 years this March. Fun!
Then last year I got, then got treated for, breast cancer. Much less fun. It was actually quite a pain and I can't say I recommend it.
Oh, and the place that I was living with my wife got sold and so we had to move out and we're living in an RV on the family property now. It's a little inconvenient, but it's like 1/3rd the price of rent. So it could be worse.
I am not someone who believes in the whole "New Year, New Me" thing. I know myself well enough to know that I cannot will myself to change. Also I am notoriously bad at trying to make anything into a habit. So things like resolutions just aren't worth it, and even when I attempt them I will start them at any time and not wait until New Years to try to better myself.
But I do like looking at how I've changed in the past year and try to project a little hope into the future based on that.
Last year I was TIRED. The tumor started growing in my right breast sometime in February as far as I could tell, meaning that it was sapping energy right from the start of the year, and then halfway through I got it removed and the treatment sucked my energy away for the second half of the year.
Now that I am cancer free (not officially until 5 years of hormone blockers, but whatever), and correctly medicated (we hope) for all my mental issues, I am hoping that I will have energy and focus to dedicate to things this year in a way I wasn't able to last year.
What sort of things? Well...
Art projects like my chibis and writing my novels.
Taking some of the stress of my wife so she can recover from the burnout of last year.
Making our physical living space better by doing some landscaping and cleaning up around the property.
This year's big project is going to be cleaning out the barn so that the space can be used for storage and the shed can be used as an office/work space. We managed to clean and organize the shed last year, but it's still full of stuff.
I can't wait until winter is over so we can move around outside and get stuff done without all the cold being in the way. I miss taking outdoor showers instead of trying to get to the gym three times a week to take a shower. I miss when my wife would work on her computer outside because it was a nice day and she could get some peace.
But hopefully we can get to a point where that can happen even when it's cold.
Anyway, I guess that's it. Last year was hard, and this year probably will be too. But I'm looking forward to it anyway because what else is there to do?