the pain is back
I thought that i was doing good cause for a couple days tha pain in my tummy went away but yesterday Master and I went to go see a movie, the new Johnny Depp film, and well by the time I got home I had to stay in bed. I couldnt move. and today he has had me in bed most the day, and no no longer the fun cause of sex kinda thing, cause I cant walk without pain ripping through my tummy. I hit thirty seven weeks at midnoght and I jsut want this over with!! I am in so much pain that half the time I cant even move.
but then to top it off I dont know what I am most afraid of not having this baby soon enough or having her to soon. I am terrified of actually having her cause of DHS. I swear they were put onto this planet to just terrify people into going to their due date. I am so afraid that I am going to have this baby and then when I think that everything is fine and I fall aleep at the hospital DHS is going to show up and take her away. I cant take this fear. Master says all is cool but I feel in my soul that it isnt. I have tried to push the feeling away but I just cant seem to get them fully gone!!
I have done everything that I can think of to cover my tracks. I have gotten all the assential babythings. I have gotten her medical. taken all the classes that the hospital and my doctors office provide. and I have been on wic. I dont know what else to do.
but then to top it off I dont know what I am most afraid of not having this baby soon enough or having her to soon. I am terrified of actually having her cause of DHS. I swear they were put onto this planet to just terrify people into going to their due date. I am so afraid that I am going to have this baby and then when I think that everything is fine and I fall aleep at the hospital DHS is going to show up and take her away. I cant take this fear. Master says all is cool but I feel in my soul that it isnt. I have tried to push the feeling away but I just cant seem to get them fully gone!!
I have done everything that I can think of to cover my tracks. I have gotten all the assential babythings. I have gotten her medical. taken all the classes that the hospital and my doctors office provide. and I have been on wic. I dont know what else to do.