Pirates of the Caribbean 3
So we went to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End last night, not expecting it to be as good as the first one, but I had heard it was at least better than the second. Unfortunately, the only thing that was better about it was that it had plenty of Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush, the best movie pirate since Robert Newton, and that's the highest compliment I can pay to an actor!). I also enjoyed looking at all the ships--and there was a considerable number of 'em to be sure. Other than that, I was bored by what amounted to 2 3/4 hours of nautical and CG clutter.
The main problem was there were way too many characters; too many complex yet unclear plotlines; and too many legends all jumbled together. The action sequences were dizzyingly busy rather than engaging. And the special effects were once again overdone, nauseating, and a further distraction from the plot. (As in the second film, the plot actually seemed subservient to the FX.) With all the grotesquery and violence, it's hard to believe this managed to get a PG-13 rating; there's one killing that looks like it came straight out of Alien. On top of that, what exactly happened with the Kraken from the last movie (even what the Kraken was and how it got mixed up with Davy Jones) is never explained, and instead we've got some kind of weird psychedelic head trip going on with Jack Sparrow that gave me flashbacks to the Monkees' cinematic acid trip, Head. (Er ... speaking of "Davy Jones"! If this was meant as some kind of homage, it went on for way too long.) We both found the whole thing utterly confusing, making us long for the straightforward relative simplicity of the first movie--as well as the rousing music by Klaus Badelt, which for the first half of POTC3 has been supplanted by a lethargic new theme song, with bits of the original surfacing only too briefly. (Please, Disney, don't let this ditty show up in the theme park ride! The original was perfect just the way it was; stop ruining it with marketing.)
Not only that, but, as you may know, I tend to get hung up on historical accuracy, and the concept of Davy Jones's locker wasn't even introduced yet at the time these films are set. (And, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure the Flying Dutchman legend postdates the Golden Age of Piracy as well.) There was plenty of anachronistic language as well. (For example, "bloody" didn't come into use as a swear word until the 1800s, and a seafarer would never refer to "cannonballs"; at sea they were called "shot.") At one point in the movie, all the pirate ships hoist their colors--and every single one is a flag belonging to a real pirate of the day. The Black Pearl uses Calico Jack Rackham's flag, while Jack himself uses a slightly altered version of the jolly roger attributed to Henry Every. I thought Disney was more creative than this! (Not to mention that they all looked like they had been silk-screened rather than sewn together as real pirate flags would have been.) Also, what happened to all the holes in the sails of the Black Pearl?
As for everyday real-world believability, in one scene, everyone on the ship is suffering from frostbite and windburn, while Keira Knightley's big pouty lips remain lusciously smooth and uncracked the whole time? And then there's the swordfight that takes place on top of the yardarm of a wildly rocking ship in the midst of a storm . . . I mean, falling from the rigging was one of the most common (fatal) injuries on a ship like that (and that's with something to hold onto for support). Real seasoned sailors negotiated the yards to furl sails via footropes connected along the bottoms of them; that's a dangerous enough feat, but swordfighting on top of a slippery, swinging cylinder a hundred feet above the deck is something even trained acrobats would be taking their lives in their hands to try!
None of the cloying eye candy in any of the two sequels can compare to that straightforward fencing scene between Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush in the treasure cave in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. Even though Geoffrey Rush was in this a lot (he's certainly got the scurvy pirate talk down, matey, although I think the unconjugated "be" be just a bit overused), I felt that his real talents (and Johnny Depp's) were sorely underused. There's just way too much else going on in the movie to allow it!
And another thing: Where do they get off calling this "Pirates of the Caribbean" when none of the action actually takes place in the Caribbean?
*takes a deep breath*
So . . .
There were still some entertaining moments, although, alas, none was integral to the story: Captain Jack is still hilarious with his sissy run, and I wondered what kind of subtext was going on between him and Lord Beckett with the exchange of the fans. But certain visuals (comparative sizes of their spyglasses, strategically placed chainshot) left no doubt as to the rivalry between him and Barbossa. But I much preferred it when they put that kind of energy into menacing Elizabeth. (Like that unforgettable scene in The Black Pearl in Barbossa's cabin where he's explaining the curse to her!) Orlando Bloom totally fills me with inertia. Johnny Depp's cool and funny and a great actor, but it's Geoffrey Rush I find incredibly sexy; he's just mesmerizing whenever he's onscreen. (I'd have liked to see him do more swordplay, and indeed he seems to do plenty of it here, but there are just too many quick cuts to get a satisfying eyefull.) In fact, he really should have got the big line that went to Mackenzie Crook (to humorous effect since it's so out of character for Ragetti); Barbossa had no trouble conveying sensuous subtlety in the first POTC, while all he gets to do in this is snarl and growl and swagger. Cool, yes, funny, yes, but he can do so much more, if only they'd have let him! Which reminds me of another thing: I would so love to see Mackenzie Crook in a more substantial role than just the comic relief, eternally chasing his wooden eyeball around.
Bill Nighy's real face made a refreshing cameo in the film, and we both agreed his character would have been less repulsive and more entertaining if it could have been more than just a cameo; enough with the tentacles already! And the much-anticipated Keith Richards cameo was overshadowed by all the noise and clutter around him.
FYI, if you're going to spend almost $10 to see it (I can't believe the prices Regal is charging these days; I mean $5.50 for a freaking small popcorn that cost them about 25 cents to make?!), be sure to stay through the credits if you want to know how the story really ends. (Yes, I'm a compulsive credit watcher, and I love it when they put in those little extras.)
I just hope if there are any more POTC sequels (and I was glad to see that they left the possibility open), they dispense with the fancy special effects and get back to the basics of character/plot development and piracy and the Caribbean and give us only one villain and storyline to deal with at a time. (I wouldn't miss Will and Elizabeth too much either.) POTC3 makes my ADD hurt!
The main problem was there were way too many characters; too many complex yet unclear plotlines; and too many legends all jumbled together. The action sequences were dizzyingly busy rather than engaging. And the special effects were once again overdone, nauseating, and a further distraction from the plot. (As in the second film, the plot actually seemed subservient to the FX.) With all the grotesquery and violence, it's hard to believe this managed to get a PG-13 rating; there's one killing that looks like it came straight out of Alien. On top of that, what exactly happened with the Kraken from the last movie (even what the Kraken was and how it got mixed up with Davy Jones) is never explained, and instead we've got some kind of weird psychedelic head trip going on with Jack Sparrow that gave me flashbacks to the Monkees' cinematic acid trip, Head. (Er ... speaking of "Davy Jones"! If this was meant as some kind of homage, it went on for way too long.) We both found the whole thing utterly confusing, making us long for the straightforward relative simplicity of the first movie--as well as the rousing music by Klaus Badelt, which for the first half of POTC3 has been supplanted by a lethargic new theme song, with bits of the original surfacing only too briefly. (Please, Disney, don't let this ditty show up in the theme park ride! The original was perfect just the way it was; stop ruining it with marketing.)
Not only that, but, as you may know, I tend to get hung up on historical accuracy, and the concept of Davy Jones's locker wasn't even introduced yet at the time these films are set. (And, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure the Flying Dutchman legend postdates the Golden Age of Piracy as well.) There was plenty of anachronistic language as well. (For example, "bloody" didn't come into use as a swear word until the 1800s, and a seafarer would never refer to "cannonballs"; at sea they were called "shot.") At one point in the movie, all the pirate ships hoist their colors--and every single one is a flag belonging to a real pirate of the day. The Black Pearl uses Calico Jack Rackham's flag, while Jack himself uses a slightly altered version of the jolly roger attributed to Henry Every. I thought Disney was more creative than this! (Not to mention that they all looked like they had been silk-screened rather than sewn together as real pirate flags would have been.) Also, what happened to all the holes in the sails of the Black Pearl?
As for everyday real-world believability, in one scene, everyone on the ship is suffering from frostbite and windburn, while Keira Knightley's big pouty lips remain lusciously smooth and uncracked the whole time? And then there's the swordfight that takes place on top of the yardarm of a wildly rocking ship in the midst of a storm . . . I mean, falling from the rigging was one of the most common (fatal) injuries on a ship like that (and that's with something to hold onto for support). Real seasoned sailors negotiated the yards to furl sails via footropes connected along the bottoms of them; that's a dangerous enough feat, but swordfighting on top of a slippery, swinging cylinder a hundred feet above the deck is something even trained acrobats would be taking their lives in their hands to try!
None of the cloying eye candy in any of the two sequels can compare to that straightforward fencing scene between Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush in the treasure cave in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. Even though Geoffrey Rush was in this a lot (he's certainly got the scurvy pirate talk down, matey, although I think the unconjugated "be" be just a bit overused), I felt that his real talents (and Johnny Depp's) were sorely underused. There's just way too much else going on in the movie to allow it!
And another thing: Where do they get off calling this "Pirates of the Caribbean" when none of the action actually takes place in the Caribbean?
*takes a deep breath*
So . . .
There were still some entertaining moments, although, alas, none was integral to the story: Captain Jack is still hilarious with his sissy run, and I wondered what kind of subtext was going on between him and Lord Beckett with the exchange of the fans. But certain visuals (comparative sizes of their spyglasses, strategically placed chainshot) left no doubt as to the rivalry between him and Barbossa. But I much preferred it when they put that kind of energy into menacing Elizabeth. (Like that unforgettable scene in The Black Pearl in Barbossa's cabin where he's explaining the curse to her!) Orlando Bloom totally fills me with inertia. Johnny Depp's cool and funny and a great actor, but it's Geoffrey Rush I find incredibly sexy; he's just mesmerizing whenever he's onscreen. (I'd have liked to see him do more swordplay, and indeed he seems to do plenty of it here, but there are just too many quick cuts to get a satisfying eyefull.) In fact, he really should have got the big line that went to Mackenzie Crook (to humorous effect since it's so out of character for Ragetti); Barbossa had no trouble conveying sensuous subtlety in the first POTC, while all he gets to do in this is snarl and growl and swagger. Cool, yes, funny, yes, but he can do so much more, if only they'd have let him! Which reminds me of another thing: I would so love to see Mackenzie Crook in a more substantial role than just the comic relief, eternally chasing his wooden eyeball around.
Bill Nighy's real face made a refreshing cameo in the film, and we both agreed his character would have been less repulsive and more entertaining if it could have been more than just a cameo; enough with the tentacles already! And the much-anticipated Keith Richards cameo was overshadowed by all the noise and clutter around him.
FYI, if you're going to spend almost $10 to see it (I can't believe the prices Regal is charging these days; I mean $5.50 for a freaking small popcorn that cost them about 25 cents to make?!), be sure to stay through the credits if you want to know how the story really ends. (Yes, I'm a compulsive credit watcher, and I love it when they put in those little extras.)
I just hope if there are any more POTC sequels (and I was glad to see that they left the possibility open), they dispense with the fancy special effects and get back to the basics of character/plot development and piracy and the Caribbean and give us only one villain and storyline to deal with at a time. (I wouldn't miss Will and Elizabeth too much either.) POTC3 makes my ADD hurt!