(no subject)
I couldn't find anything else to do with myself other than to sit here and type this out.
Well, I'm sure most of you know about the whole thing with my grandmother. I've been really worried about losing her.
Last night, I lost my grandfather. I was really close to him. He used to call me his korey-o and always said how big I've gotten. He always had diet soda at his little apartment just for me. He talked about growing up in the south a lot and made us all laugh. He used to tell me about when I was little I always played with the panda magnets on his fridge.
Now he's gone. I'll never ever see him again. Just when things in my life can't get any worse, they do. my mom was crying so much this morning and I didn't know why. My dad told me he needed to talk to me, so I was guessing it was something about nanna. He pulled me aside, away from the 5 kids we had in our house last night and told me "Korey, Grandpa Moore died last night" I felt shock, it jsut didn't register with me. I just walked through them all, ran upstairs and threw myself on my bed and stared at the ceiling for 45 minutes, not thinking anything.
I decided to take a shower and grabbed my dashboard cd. As soon as the water hit me, I started to cry. I couldn't take Chris's whiny crying voice. It was MY turn to cry. My parents left and my aunt and uncle had come over to get their 3 kids that spent the night. She knocked on the door and asked if she could come in and I screamed at her "No! I'm getting dressed"
I came downstairs and sat on the couch, staring out the window and crying. She came up to me and put her hand on her shoulder and I just felt this wave of hatred, so strong, towards her and my uncle. What right do they have trying to console me?! Doesn't he feel bad that his father died? Does he even care? I have never felt so disgusted with 2 people in my entire life. I felt bad for Mark, Alex, and Erin because they never got to meet him, they never got to know their grandfather because of something stupid that happened between my uncle and him about 18 years ago.
Then my aunt karen left and my uncle kevin came in and touched my hair. He asked if I was going to be ok and I just nodded. I was burning with hatred for them and crying and shaking. He walked away and I hissed "you don't even care..." He kept walking.
I feel so empty... like a lost little girl. I can't lose my grandmother too, at the same time. I'd never be able to deal with it. I'm already an emotional mess. I miss him. I just want him back.
Well, I'm sure most of you know about the whole thing with my grandmother. I've been really worried about losing her.
Last night, I lost my grandfather. I was really close to him. He used to call me his korey-o and always said how big I've gotten. He always had diet soda at his little apartment just for me. He talked about growing up in the south a lot and made us all laugh. He used to tell me about when I was little I always played with the panda magnets on his fridge.
Now he's gone. I'll never ever see him again. Just when things in my life can't get any worse, they do. my mom was crying so much this morning and I didn't know why. My dad told me he needed to talk to me, so I was guessing it was something about nanna. He pulled me aside, away from the 5 kids we had in our house last night and told me "Korey, Grandpa Moore died last night" I felt shock, it jsut didn't register with me. I just walked through them all, ran upstairs and threw myself on my bed and stared at the ceiling for 45 minutes, not thinking anything.
I decided to take a shower and grabbed my dashboard cd. As soon as the water hit me, I started to cry. I couldn't take Chris's whiny crying voice. It was MY turn to cry. My parents left and my aunt and uncle had come over to get their 3 kids that spent the night. She knocked on the door and asked if she could come in and I screamed at her "No! I'm getting dressed"
I came downstairs and sat on the couch, staring out the window and crying. She came up to me and put her hand on her shoulder and I just felt this wave of hatred, so strong, towards her and my uncle. What right do they have trying to console me?! Doesn't he feel bad that his father died? Does he even care? I have never felt so disgusted with 2 people in my entire life. I felt bad for Mark, Alex, and Erin because they never got to meet him, they never got to know their grandfather because of something stupid that happened between my uncle and him about 18 years ago.
Then my aunt karen left and my uncle kevin came in and touched my hair. He asked if I was going to be ok and I just nodded. I was burning with hatred for them and crying and shaking. He walked away and I hissed "you don't even care..." He kept walking.
I feel so empty... like a lost little girl. I can't lose my grandmother too, at the same time. I'd never be able to deal with it. I'm already an emotional mess. I miss him. I just want him back.